


Cosmic Attraction

by AunnaNomus



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 殺戮の天使 | Satsuriku no Tenshi | Angels of Death (Anime), 殺戮の天使 | Satsuriku no Tenshi | Angels of Death (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Sex, Bakugou Katsuki Being an Asshole, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Blowjobs, Bullying, Cheating, Cock Warming, Crazy Toga Himiko, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi is a drug dealer, Daddy Kink, Delusions, Endgame undecided, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fingering, Football Player Bakugou Katsuki, Gang Violence, Himiko writes fiction and does makeup tutorials, League of Villains, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Other characters to be announced - Freeform, Other tags to be added, Pegging, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Slut Shaming, Smut, Spanking, Suicide Attempt, Toga falls in love a lot, Tropes, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Sex, light comedy, mentions of cheating, not beta read we die like men, revenge porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:41:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 82,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AunnaNomus/pseuds/AunnaNomus
Summary: Meet Toga Himiko; the weird girl on campus that posts creepy makeup tutorials and writes “weird” fan fiction. She’s really passionate about a lot of things, but the thing she’s most passionate about...is love.
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Toga Himiko, Bakugou Katsuki/Tokage Setsuna, Bakugou Katsuki/Utsushimi Camie, Dabi/Toga Himiko, Fudo Akira/Kuroda "Miko" Miki/Makimura Miki, Isaac "Zack" Foster & Rachel "Ray" Gardner, Rachel Gardner/Shinsou Hitoshi, Rachel “Ray” Gardner & Toga Himiko, Toga Himiko x Kuroda Miki
Comments: 41
Kudos: 49





	1. Stargazer

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first ever BNHA fanfic. I’ve tagged it as endgame undecided because I haven’t made up my mind yet if I want BakuToga to soar in this fic or not. I ship the hell out of them and I really want more fics about them in circulation, but I’m not sure if this one will finish with them together so just be wary of that.
> 
> Also, if any of you have ‘Karin Interrupted’ and are waiting for the next update just know that it won’t be for awhile. I promise I haven’t given up, I’m just really lacking the inspiration I need for that story right now. 
> 
> I started this story at midnight and cranked out three chapters by 4AM so hopefully the updates will be quick, but no promises. ALSO, this story takes place in my own fantasy world where all the anime characters live together. If you would like to check that out you can go to my Tumblr, https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/empireofsaigon, to learn more about this country and hopefully that helps you follow along with some of the unfamiliar phrasing.
> 
> Alright I’m done rambling and shamelessly promoting. Enjoy the story and feel free to comment and let me know what you think ☺️

_(Hina stared at Katsuma’s back with devotion shimmering in her amber gaze. The way his muscles flexed and rippled beneath such smooth and flawless skin. A thin sheen of sweat glimmering underneath the sunlight, beads of sweat trickling down slowly. She wanted to lick them all up and taste the salty essence of him on her tongue, but right now watching him from afar would have to suffice._

_His fangirls cheer for him on the sidelines, as if he’s competing in an actual match and not just practicing. Her nostrils flare as she huffs, they can cheer all they want, but it’s her support that really matters to him. She’s his number one fan and all the others are just extras that he will never acknowledge. A smile stretches across her face and she giggles to herself at the thought. She’s special, his someone special._

_When the whistle blows, Hina is on her feet, water bottle and towel in her hand, and quickly making her way down to the sidelines of the field to greet him. The fans are flocking, but Katsuma’s ruby gaze flits to her and he grins. Her cheeks flush darkly as he approaches, accepting her gifts and thanking her.)_

“Hi Himiko!” Someone exclaims, distracting her from her work. She glances over her shoulder to the source of the sound. Ugh, it’s just her coworker Lily. 

“Hi.” She grumbles out. 

“Please tell me you’re closing tonight, we haven’t worked together in so long.” The girl whines as she lockers her things. They haven’t worked together for a reason. Himiko can’t stand this girl. She’s so annoying and whiny and just all around bad at her job. Not to mention all of the offhand and offensive things she spits out of her mouth. 

Don’t get her wrong, Himiko is by no means a saint and she can’t say some pretty off the wall shit too, but at least she doesn’t say things that could have her labeled as ignorant, or prejudice, or just cruel- all the things that Lily is. Well, not cruel, but everything else. 

“I am actually.” She confirms anyways. “Just on my lunch break.” She adds, hoping the woman would understand that she’s requesting to be left alone for the remainder of her lunch break. The hint goes right over Lily’s head as she hunkers down in a chair and starts going on and on about how she hasn’t seen Himiko in a long time and oh did she hear about the trip she took to London? It was beautiful, she would’ve brought back a souvenir for her, but again, they haven’t seen each other and Himiko never replied to her texts. 

She can immediately tell this is going to be a long shift and she’s deeply regretting coming in. 

By the time Lily has to go clock in, Himiko’s lunch only has a few measly minutes left _‘Ugh and right when I was making progress on the new chapter.’_ This update has been a long time coming and her fans have been leaving so many pleading comments for her that she finally decided to carve out some time between her days to try and work on her story some more. A simple love story about a boy and a girl who have been best friends for years and finally start to fall in love, ya know, that good ol’ classic trope. 

She clocks back in to finish the rest of her shift and takes over for her good pal Miki who is dying to be relieved and as far away as possible from Lily. 

Himiko is a shift manager at a popular coffee company by the name of ‘Gemini.’ She’s been working at this job for two years now after starting upon her admission into University. She likes her job, making coffee and teas, cooking pastries and sandwiches, it’s super easy and she has fun there. Gets to watch all the lovely couples on dates in the cafe and she works there with two of her closest friends and fellow shifts, Kuroda Miki and Rachel Gardner who is also her roommate. 

The pay and benefits are great and she gets good hours to be a full time college student. If she had to pick three things she hated about working there it would be some of the more less than pleasant customers, Lily, and Ramona- the _other_ coworker she can’t stand. But all in all those few things are not too terrible. 

“Okay let’s see,” she starts as she gazes around at the floor and begins figuring out her play for the evening, “Lily you’ll be on customer support. Two of the ovens have already been cleaned and turned off for the day, bars one and two have also been cleaned and shut down. Cold bar still needs to be worked on and the floors need to be swept and mopped.” Customer support is the best way to make sure Lily stays completely out of her way and almost completely out of her sight. Besides, it’s not like she’s fast on the bar or anything. 

Serafina is already on register and there’s no need to move her and Riley will be fine soloing on bar, but of course “if you need any help just call me. I’ll be doing my inventory counts and pulls.” She informs them as she grabs the iPod and heads back to the freezers. 

Before working here Himiko had never held a real job in her life, but it didn’t deter her. Her parents wanted her to aim higher, a coffee shop wasn’t the idea they had in mind for her, but she chose to be more realistic about things. No work experience and she’s going to school? A stupid corporate job isn’t what she needed right now. And besides, like she said, she likes it here. 

She caught on to the ropes very fast and ran with it. She kills on the bar, she preps like nobody's business, cleans like she’s been a maid all her life, and her ability to connect with customers? Yeah, get out of here, they love her. She’s fun and giddy and cute too which also doesn’t hurt when it comes to tips. She advanced very quickly in this place and she appreciates such an opportunity from her boss, she can’t just let her down. Which is why she’s always going out of her way to do more and shine. They always say not to kill yourself over a job that would replace you in a week, but this job has proved that if she were to ever leave anytime soon they would be so hurt without her. 

It takes her less than forty-five minutes to finish her counts and get all the pulls done and then she moves on to placing the specialty order. At the original, and only other, store the co-owner bakes specialized goods to be sold to the customers. She’s all the way in Merona though so when they built this store they hired a pastry chef so they could offer the same exquisite service here too. Placing the order is as quick as one, two, three before she’s on to the next task which is doing floor counts. 

She’s just about to start when she notices just who is placing their order at the register. Bakugou Katsuki, the absolute desire of her dreams, and the guy who inspired her story. Unlike her story, she and Bakugou weren’t best friends and they weren’t falling in love. Correction, she was already in love and he didn’t love her, _yet._ She’s working on it. 

They have two classes together, and they live in the same dorm building so she gets to see him enough. Not as much as she would like, but enough. He’s literally the epitome of perfect. All the way from the messy spiked blonde hair, his deep vermillion eyes, his soft kissable lips, his broad shoulders, his muscular arms- god she’s getting sidetracked here. Point is, this man is _everything_ and she wants him. All of him.

She tries to talk to him in class, but he’s usually so wrapped up in the lessons. She doesn’t know why he doesn’t pay attention to her, she’s really hard to ignore, she’s funny and sweet, has a great body, but for some reason she’s just not on his radar like that. He would rather look at girls like Utsushimi or Setsuna, hell he even took a nice long gander at Rachel one day. The audacity. It makes her confused, because she doesn’t know what those girls have that she doesn’t. She doesn’t even understand the correlation between looking at them. Sure okay, Setsuna and Utsushimi have a few things in common, they’re both thirst traps, wild party girls, definitely the type of girl you’d have listed in your phone with ‘hoe number…’ behind their name. But Rachel? Rachel isn’t like that at all. 

It doesn’t deter her. She’s still trying. Sometimes these love things just take time. 

Himiko moseys her way on over to Riley once his cup is in her hand. “I’ve got it.” She smiles, feeling herself get excited. A large marcotter with two extra shots, such a wonderful drink. Lightly sweet and just strong enough to help him power through his study session. This is going to be the best- 

“He also ordered a croissant if you wanna do that too.” Serafina tells her with a sly smile on her face. Oh, this is going to be the best marcotter and croissant he’s ever tasted. 

She makes sure to steam the milk perfectly, it’s smooth and fluffy, steaming. She swirls in the vanilla bean and caramel sauce with the milk and espresso and tops it with sea salt that she sprinkles in the shape of a heart. Once the croissant is nice and just the right kind of crispy she plates it and places it on the handoff plane. Or wait, should she hand deliver it to him? Yes, that’d be so much more impressionable. No one gets things hand delivered here so obviously he’ll notice it and notice how... _special_ this makes him.

Carrying his items over to him, she stands off to the side of his table and clears her throat, plastering a wide grin on her face. “You ordered a large marcotter and a croissant?” She even puts that fancy flare on the word ‘croissant.’ 

Red eyes look at her and he scowls, clicking his tongue at her. “Tch, I could’ve gotten up and got it, dumbass.” He takes the gifts from her, setting them on his table.

Her cheeks flush hard, “I know!” She chirps. “I’m feeling nice.” Himiko folds her arms behind her back and peers over at his open textbooks. Ah, anatomy and physiology two. That’s the class they share together. 

“Oh are you cramming for the exam coming up!?” She asks him. 

He lifts his head from his books again and glances at her, sneering, “the fuck does it look like? Don’t you have a job to do?” 

“Yep, just wanted to say hello.” She nods eagerly. 

The look he’s giving her is a look that she’s fairly used to, incredulity, confusion, annoyance. It’s different from him though, her eyes read, confusion, annoyance, and delighted surprise that she’s being so friendly. Ugh he’s so cute. “Get the hell out of here, weirdo. See enough of you already.” 

She giggles, pressing her knuckles to her mouth. And he’s so shy it’s almost adorable. “Buh-bye Bakugou-kun. Have fun studying.” She replies, waving cutely. 

Her heart is fluttering at their interaction. His voice is so gruff and deep, his whole chest probably rumbles every time he speaks and she would love nothing more than to lay her head on that chest and listen to that rumble while he talks for hours. Correction, she doesn’t like her job, she loves it here.

* * *

When Rachel comes back to their dorm, Himiko is messily applying fresh hot pink polish to her toes. They’re going to a party tonight and she wants her feet to look ready for presentation when she flaunts her new heels. They’re so cute, pink with a back strap and a fluffy cross strap at the toe. She’s been looking for the perfect place to wear them, and tonight is the night. She’ll pair them with her tight, you guessed it, pink spaghetti strap dress and a black long sleeve fuzzy mock neck top because it’s still a bit chilly out and a girl has to be prepared. Also, despite the fact that her dress shows a lot of cleavage she doesn’t really like the idea of letting her puppies hang out. It just attracts too much attention and- oh right, Ray is home. 

  
“Ray!!” She squeals, throwing her arms up to celebrate her roomie and best friend returning from her night class. 

“Hi Himi.” She says, sliding down into the chair in their sitting room. She drops her bag on the floor next to her and slouches, crossing her hands on her stomach. Rough night, Himiko imagines, those night classes sure are awful. Thank god she doesn’t have any. 

“You realize the paint is supposed to be on your nails right? Not..all over.” Rachel reminds her as she stares at Himiko’s bare feet. 

The older blonde giggles and waves a playful hand at her. “Of course I know that, I’m just really excited.” Her hands tremble a lot when she’s excited..also when she’s nervous, or scared, or sad, but mainly just excited. She heard through a grape vine she wasn’t supposed to be a part of that Bakugou was going to the party and she’s hoping that tonight will finally be the turning point in their relationship. He’s been coming to her cafe for the last two days now and each night she brings him his order personally, he yells at her, and she giggles. They’re making monumental progress, but they need more. 

“I don’t wanna kill your high or whatever, but I don’t think him yelling at you and you laughing about it qualifies as romantic progress.” 

“Oh Ray, ever the downer.” She groans. “I don’t chastise you about your relationship with the sleepwalker, don’t chastise me on my relationship with Baku.” 

“Okay...but” Rachel sighs heavily, “you _do_ gripe a lot about how you think he should take me on fancier dates or whatever. Don’t think of it as chastising. I’m merely telling you not to get so ahead of yourself with the fantasy. The guy is a certified asshole.” 

_‘Sure, because the sleepwalker is any better.’_ She’ll keep that to herself though. “Are you going to fix this mess for me and go to the party with me or what?” 

“Fix the mess, yes. Go to the party? No. I’m exhausted and Miki is going so you won’t be alone.” 

She’s not thrilled about the fact that Rachel isn’t going, but she relents. They can’t always go to _every_ party and it’s not like Rachel would benefit from going anyways. At least she’ll have Miki.

Her friend sits on the table in front of her, resting Himiko’s feet in her lap and begins redoing the pedicure she attempted. Ugh, she has such steady hands, not a single tremor in sight. She’s glad she did this for her. 

When her feet are dry she showers and gets dressed. Miki has arrived to pick her up and that girl has about as much patience as a rock. Do rocks have patience? All they ever do is just sit there, they don’t go anywhere, but she imagines if they could move they’d just be go go go all the time since they’ve been motionless all their life. She has to stop getting so off track like this. 

She’s ready, “I’m ready!!” They leave. 

  
  


Miki is a senior now, she’ll be leaving soon and that makes Himiko sad, but she’s glad they have times like this to look back on. She’s so fun and smart, has this really competitive edge to her that can get quite problematic at times, but it’s never problematic for Himiko because she isn’t competitive and losing won’t affect her. But oh it just eats at everyone else. 

She runs track and it never stays on the field. She has to be the best in all her classes, she has to be the strongest in her friend groups, hell even now at the party she has to drink more than the guys she’s drinking with, good fucking thing she has the tolerance for it.

Himiko watches with encouraging eyes, cheering her friend on as she chugs and occasionally sweeping auburn locks of stray hair out of her way. When she’s not focused on the intensive drinking competition her eyes are scanning the crowd for Bakugou. Every other time she’s looked up he hasn’t been there, but now he’s finally graced the room with his presence. 

He looks so classy, but in a laid back kind of way. He’s wearing a black tee and jeans, a real fashion savvy kind of guy. She hums in pleasure, she would go up to him, but he’s with his friends and she doesn’t want to _embarrass_ herself. What if he thinks that she wore this to show off to his friends and not him? He’d probably get jealous and upset. 

Dammit Rachel, why didn’t she warn her about wearing something so flattering? “The hell are you waiting for?” Miki drawls, “get yer ass over there and show ‘em what he’s missing.” Oh Miki, how she loves her so. 

Himiko fluffs her buns and makes a bold decision to strip out of her top because this is one time when she will let puppies have their moment. A little jealousy couldn’t hurt. With an encouraging slap on the butt from Miki, Himiko is prancing off towards Bakugou and his friends. She weaves her way through the dance happy crowd and he’s so close, practically within reach when she runs into a hard chest that rudely cuts her off. 

She growls at the offender, glaring up at them, “oh god dammit, Dabi!” She hisses when her amber eyes lock with turquoise ones. The bastard is grinning down at her, smug and annoying. 

“Himiko, just the little runt I was hoping to see.” He teased, draping a long arm around her neck and burying her face in his shirt. She worms in his arms, pushing against his chest with her hand, but Dabi is so much stronger than her. Where the hell is her friend? Isn’t she supposed to be on lookout duty? 

Dabi drags her off with him, all the way up the steps and into a room where he slams the door. He shoves her and she trips over the carpet and falls right on her ass on the floor, ouch. “You could’ve just shot me a text ya know? No need to be so pushy.” 

“Funny,” he chuckles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I _have_ texted you, a lot and you never text back. Funny.” 

It is funny. She has seen every last one of his messages and been avoiding them like the plague. “Where’s my money, Toga?” And that’s exactly why she’s been avoiding him. 

It’s not what you’re thinking. If you look at Dabi, dark hair, covered from head to toe in tattoos and piercings, a rugged sense of style. He looks like a drug dealer, he _is_ a drug dealer, but she doesn’t owe him drug money because she _uses_ the drugs. No way! Toga Himiko is a very good girl. 

She and Dabi have what she would like to call a special friendship. She’s not banging him if that’s what you’re thinking, rude, but well they make out sometimes. Maybe he gets to feel her up, slip his hand under her skirt, and okay maybe she’s sent him some flattering pictures and gone down on him. And there was the time that she did a drug run for him, again, she didn’t _do_ the drugs, she just ran them like a good mule. These favors that she does for him get her gifts and things, cute clothes, the shoes she’s wearing, and sometimes money. 

Well, recently, she agreed to deliver another package for him and it didn’t go so well. It’s not her fault that he asked at a terrible time. She swears she was going to deliver the package when she had time, it was in her purse all ready to go and then someone walked off with her purse and she never saw who. Needless to say, the package was never delivered and now Dabi is looking at her to hand over 300 sheets for it as if it’s just gonna magically appear out of thin air. 

“I told you, I would get your money.” She explains innocently batting her eyelashes at him. “I just need a little more time.” 

“I gave you a week already. You have a job, empty your fucking bank and hand over my cash.” 

“Well I can’t just do that.” She scoffs. She has bills man! Her cell phone isn’t gonna pay for itself, then she has scholastic supplies she has to buy, materials for med school ain’t cheap man. Then she has to pay for her room and board because they just had to live in a fancy off campus dorm. Oh and she’s trying to save for a car. “Don’t you get it? I’m a young adult woman with responsibilities.” 

Dabi moves faster than she figured he could with that lanky frame of his, picking her up under her arms and shaking her. “You wanna talk about responsibilities?” He growls, squeezing her uncomfortably. “You had a _responsibility_ to run those fucking pills for me and you dropped the ball, babe.” 

“Ugh, put me down!” She struggles. “This is not a game I wanna play right now!” 

“You wouldn’t like it if I messed up that pretty little face of yours would you?” Hell no she wouldn’t. This is her money maker. The raven roughly slams her down on the bed and snakes his hand around her throat, squeezing. This also isn’t a game she wants to play right now, usually she’d be down for some asphyxiation action, it’s fun testing your limits, but she’s supposed to be with Bakugou right now. “I bet you thought you could just get out of this easy huh? Thought that little pussy of yours would give you a get out jail free card?” 

If she could speak, she would tell him that she didn’t think that at all. Well, not entirely. Either way she can’t say anything because she can’t fucking breathe, can’t even call out her safe word, ‘bunny.’ Her nails claw at his hands to no avail. “You have two days to get me my money and if I have to come find you again you’re gonna wake up in a hospital with a new face.” God that would hurt so much. 

When he lets go she greedily sucks in air and rubs her hands along her sore throat. That’s gonna leave a very hard to explain bruise. “Two days.” She coughs. “Got it.” She gives him a thumbs up to further demonstrate her understanding of his message. 

He cracks a stupid grin and “playfully” smacks her cheek twice before planting a quick kiss on her forehead. “Good, cause I’d hate to have to wreck you.” He stands and goes to open the door, standing by it. “Go on, get back to your little party.” He ushers. Himiko huffs and fixes her dress. 

“How’d you even get invited? No one likes you.” She snips, glaring at him. 

“Don’t be stupid, it’s a college party, open campus invitation, everyone’s always invited.” She rolls her eyes at him and walks out, folding her arms over her chest and tries not to blush in front of him. Her panties are starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Her body and mind are so weird sometimes. There he was choking the life out of her against her will and she’s all wet from it. She can pretend to be as pissed off as she wants, but he knows her better than that. She’ll never stay that way too long, she’s too flippant with anger. It takes _a lot_ to really piss her off. 

That’s all over now and she can turn her attention back to the person it belongs to, Bakugou...who is...making out with the damned Utsushimi. Oh fucking dammit, Dabi!


	2. Head in the Clouds

_(Hina breathes heavily, licking her lips to savor the taste of his mouth on hers. He’s so warm, tender, and sweet- not like she would’ve imagined him at all. He always comes across so cold and distant, but in this one moment he was tender with her. It tugs at her heart strings._

_His large hand cups her cheek, caressing the skin softly, while his striking blue eyes stare at her with soft passion. “Hina.” He breathes. She smiles softly, nuzzling into his hand. She knows this isn’t right, her heart doesn’t belong to him- it shouldn’t. She’s loved Katsuma for years and now he’s Tatsuya, sweeping off her feet. It only makes it harder for her. It’s unfair.)_

Himiko huffs at her keyboard. Her fingers are cramping and her back is hurting from the awful way she’s slouching at her desk. She’s been in a pretty shitty mood all day. Having to watch Bakugou suck face with the doe eyed trollop all night, right up until the point that they left together, has her in a bad way. And then there’s the stupid money she owes Dabi for those pills, but she’s not all that concerned about that. She’ll just have to suck it up and pay it. Hopefully he’ll still be her friend afterwards, because believe it or not, he _is_ actually pretty cool to hang out with. The dangerous upperclassmen with the nonchalant attitude. 

She saves the work she’s made so far on her chapter and decides it’s probably time to start getting ready for class. Ugh, never again will she wake up at 7AM just to write, what is wrong with her? 

After a nice hot shower she’s feeling a little bit better about her early wake up. She’s also happy that she’s getting closer and closer to being able to see Bakugou. She can’t hold on to petty grudges, it’s not like she’s been a saint. 

She shrugs her way into some comfortable sweats to better prepare herself for the long class that awaits. Before she leaves she creeps into Rachel’s room and kisses her cheek whispering bye in her ear because that’s what good friends do. 

Anatomy and physiology, a two part class. First is a lecture and then they have a lab to go ahead and get it all out of the way. In the lecture hall she always sits behind Bakugou so she can stare at the back of his beautiful head. 

He’s so fascinating. A star athlete, a natural born genius, handsome. It’s unbelievably unreasonable for one person to have all that going for him. She can’t afford to focus on him right now though. There’s an exam in front of her and she absolutely has to pass. Her degree depends on it. 

Himiko is in med school to be a nurse or maybe a doctor, she hasn’t yet decided how much time she’s willing to put towards this endeavor. Sounds bad, but she’s just really eager to start working in a hospital. Her motivation for this particular field of work is purely driven by her interest in blood…..um, and her desire to help people. Yes, definitely that too. 

Anyways about this blood thing. She just finds it so enthralling. The way it courses through the veins and circulates giving vitality. The way it pushes color into your skin tingeing it a cherry color. It’s such a precious and essential thing, without it everyone would be dead. And the way it looks outside the body? That deep red color, like wine that you could bottle and drink. Or give to patients who are in desperate need, your call. 

She pours a lot of time into her studies to ensure that she’s passing all her classes so that she can live out her dream of pricking people with needles and drawing their blood from them. She doesn’t get the best grades, like Bakugou, but she knows her shit well enough. It doesn’t help her finish any faster. When she hands in her exam paper there’s a few minutes to spare before her lab starts so she decides to use the bathroom and make sure her hair doesn’t look too scary. This is the class that really matters. 

They sit in groups at tables and after their first class the seating arrangements just stuck. Himiko sits at a table with some jerk whose name she can’t be bothered to remember, Deku who is admittedly pretty cute, and of course, Bakugou. _Right_ _fucking next to him._ She could almost piss herself with excitement. He absolutely abhors their table, it’s Deku and the other guys fault really, absolutely nothing against her. 

He smells so good, just like always. A deep earthy scent, musky and pleasant to her sensitive nose. Almost more tantalizing than the smell of blood. 

“Hi Deku-kun, Bakugou-kun…. _you.”_ She greets them as she plops down in her seat, giving the extra an already irritated glare. 

“Don’t come over here with all that loud shit.” Her lover scowls. 

“Um, hi, Himiko-chan. How do you think you did on your exam?” 

The extra opens their mouth to address her as well, but Himiko isn’t trying to hear all that so she talks over him. “Great!” She grins. “I mean I probably didn’t do as well as Bakugou-kun here, but definitely better than this guy.” She laughs. 

Bakugou’s eyes roll in his pretty head, his face is so lickable. “Baku-kun,” she starts with a pout on her face.

“Are you deaf? How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” 

“Are you going to come visit me at work tonight? I’ll make your favorite!” She goes on ignoring his objection. 

“I’m not _visiting_ you. I go there to do work.” Liar. He could go to any other cafe to study, but he chooses hers. “I didn’t even know you worked there.” She’s been there for two years? Does he really expect her to believe that? 

“Thank you for waiting for me, class,” the professor announces as he walks in. Himiko kind of feels like their professor should be more thrilled to talk about things like this, but he always talks with this monotonous, robotic voice. Like he’s so tired of being there, like he hates his job. If it were her up there teaching about something as intriguing as the human body, she would undoubtedly be over the moon with excitement. That’s how you keep your students intrigued. 

“Today marks the beginning of your biggest project in the class. It will be graded in as part of your final. We will be working on this project in class during labs, but most of the work you will do in pairs on your own time.” Oh blessed day, she knows exactly who her partner will be. 

They have 34 questions that have to be answered, covering behavior and biological moods/dispositions, senses, and systems. It looks fun, she can get pretty creative with this project. 

“I’m so happy we’re partners.” She coos towards Bakugou. “Now we get to spend more time together!” 

“I never said I was working with you dumbass. Shitty Deku, you’re my partner.” 

Deku flinches and smiles nervously, “oh but Kacchan, I-I already agreed to work -censored-. You were right here when we agreed.” 

“I don’t give a shit about -censored-!” 

“Oh c’mon!” Himiko whines, “don’t be shy, I don’t bite..hehe hard. I promise I won’t be weird, we’ll _just_ do our project.” She will be weird and they will do more than their project. “We can even start today so that we can finish early!” They will most certainly _not_ finish early. 

Bakugou growls, seething in his seat. She sighs dreamily at him, she loves his little temper tantrums.

* * *

Bakugou is a person who likes to be very much so in charge, but so is Himiko. She’ll let him have his fun and make him feel like he’s in charge during this project, but when it really comes down to it, she’ll be calling the shots. 

So far he has already mapped out a schedule for them to work on this project, decided what problems they’ll be solving on which days, and even how they’ll be solving some of these. Their first meeting will be tomorrow in the campus square. They’ll have plenty of room to test some of these theories out there and also plenty of people to observe. 

“Don’t be late, I’ve got other shit to do.” 

“Hmm let’s see, I get off work at 12...I have to crank out a new makeup tutorial for my fans, oh and then I-“

“I can’t stress to you enough how little I care. Are you gonna show up or not?” 

“Oh baby of course I will! Just thought you’d wanna know about my day.” 

Her rowdy blonde sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his cute little nose. “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong with you and why you’re such a whack job. Cut the flirty bullshit, I’m not your druggie friend. Let’s just get this stupid project over with as soon as possible so we can avoid each other like the fucking plague the rest of the year.” 

Oh so he’s noticed her hanging around campus with Dabi? He pays attention to her. “Ouch.” She frowns. “Bakugou you don’t have to be such a bitch about it, and after all the nice things I’ve done for you? Rude.”

His eyes widen, “what the fuck did you just say to me?” 

“I said don’t be such a bitch.” She repeats. Her dream guy or not there still has to be limits to the amount of assholery that she’ll accept. She’d do anything for him, but she doesn’t need him thinking she’s a doormat. You can’t fall in love with a doormat.

She’s been watching him for years now, ever since Miki dragged her to his first ever football game. She observes him from a distance while he interacts with his friends. She knows how mean and nasty he can get when people just let him have his way. So she has to stick up for herself. She has to teach him and help him realize that _she_ is not them. _She_ is the girl he’s been waiting for, the woman of his dreams. That fire is attractive, but there has to be a line of separation. He has to treat her better because she is better.

“Who do you think you are?” His everything, duh. “You ain’t special, just some creepy fucking extra I got stuck working with. I could do this entire project by myself, I don’t need you.” 

She giggles and rolls her eyes, “you’re so silly. You’re having a tantrum. I’ll let you piss it out and we’ll do this again tomorrow yeah? I should probably get your number so we can keep in touch.” 

“Oh get fucked you little bitch.” He spits. 

They can talk about that later too. “Okay you don’t have to give it to me now, but I’ll get it eventually.” She checks the time on her phone. “I have another class to get to. Be a good boy and I’ll see you tomorrow. _Or_ I’ll see you tonight when you visit me at work.” 

“Tch, as if. Next time you whore yourself make sure to cover up the bruises, idiot.” She gasps, clutching her hand to her throat. She knew she forgot to grab something to grab something when she ran out this morning. 

Himiko huffs defiantly, placing her hands on her hips. “We’re not going to get anywhere with this.” She acknowledges. She’ll have to be crafty with her training on him. “Bakugou-kun, this has been a pleasure and a half and I look forward to our next meeting.” She extends her hand to him and he smacks it away, rejecting her peace offering. The contact he just made with her skin? Brief but so electrifying. Oh she can’t wait to tell her friends about this. 

  
  
  


Like always, Rachel thinks she’s being completely out of pocket. Miki thinks that she’s reaching a bit for her affection, which is a surprising response from the older woman. She expected at least one of them to be on her side. 

All Ray can focus on is the fact that Bakugou was mean to her. He shouldn’t talk to her like that and she shouldn’t romanticize it as something she can control. Miki feels like maybe he’s just not as into her as Himiko claims and that she should probably go for someone else. Ya know, save herself the heartbreak. 

They’re both delusional. Rachel’s sleepwalker isn’t a saint and that creepo guy that she hangs out with is probably the worst, but funnest, man she has ever encountered. Miki’s boyfriend cries all the time about any and everything and her girlfriend is a perfect little Mary Sue that abuses her innocent features to emotionally manipulate people and calls her ‘Miko’ because there can only be one Miki in the world apparently. Her dysfunctional ass relationship gives her no grounds to comment on Himiko’s romantic endeavors. 

“Guys, it’s a trope okay? Enemies to lovers, stuck together, _soul mates!_ ” She asserts. 

“Are you on drugs?” Rachel deadpans. “This isn’t your fanfic Himi. It’s...real life.” 

“Sometimes I wish I could live in your head.” Miki chuckles. “It sounds fucking wild and incredible in there.” 

“First of all, it’s a party in there, like, all the time. Second, you will both see, you will all see. I’m not crazy, I know what I’m talking about! Bakugou Katsuki will realize he’s in love with me in due time!” 

“Okay fine, maybe he falls in love with you. Are you gonna stay in love with him or are you gonna fall in love with someone else?” 

“Good question Ray, you do fall in love a lot.” Miki agrees. “Very fickle girl when it comes to feelings.” 

“You were in love with Zack for like two months.” He’s exciting, a jubilant personality. “Then you were in love with that one old guy, ya know the customer? What was his name?”

“Jin.” Miki scoffs. Jin was hilarious! He took her out dancing, she’s never met someone with so many salsa skills. He’s in a psych ward now though, something about having a psychiatric breakdown and locking himself in his home to prevent his clones from killing him.

“And you’re really off and on about Deku, but mainly on.” Ray adds. Deku is a precious little baby and his adorable, innocent broccoli features would drive anyone mad. Especially if they’d seen him after he busted his face open falling off that bike last semester. 

“And his girlfriend. Face it, Himi, only I can pull off a competent thrupple.” Ochako and her have something in common, they both love Deku. But the fact remains...

“Okay so I fall in love a lot, sue me you salty bitches. The point is, I have loved Bakugou since freshman year. That’s literally the longest relationship I’ve ever had.” 

“But you’re banging the drug dealer.” Miki frowns. 

“We’re not banging, why does everyone keep saying that?” Himiko groans in frustration. This is giving her a headache and she has to get ready for work anyways. Crazy girls, they’re just blinded right now by their own situations, but like Katsuki, they’ll come to see that she’s right too. 

Bakugou strolls into her cafe later on that night to study again. He just can’t stay away from her. She steps up to take his order with a shit eating grin on her face and he begrudgingly gives her his order. He switches it up this time, trying to throw her off her game after she’s already rung him for his usual. It’s whatever, not gonna change the fact that it’s gonna be perfect. 

She has an idea while his milk is steaming and whips out her handy dandy pink sharpie. She scribbles her number on the side of his cup, right next to the lip where he can see it and adds a winky face and a heart to it as well. 

Like normal, she goes to hand deliver it to him only this time he stops her halfway across the cafe. “Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that shit? I’m not a child, I can get it myself.” 

“You also told me you weren’t coming here tonight and look at you here!” 

He cuts his eyes at her and snorts. “It ain’t because of you, idiot. It’s just really unfortunate that this is the quietest spot I can find.” He grinds out. 

“But...we play music all night long? Cardi B is playing right now and I don’t think she’s what you would normally study to.” 

“Then change the damn music.” He throws over his shoulder as he marches back to his table and she promptly follows. 

“Of course baby, what would you like to listen to?” 

“I would _like to_ talk to your boss and get you fired for harassment.” 

“I _am_ the boss, your request has been denied. Next request.” 

He drags a beautiful large hand through his hair. “Fine, fuck off or I’m leaving.”

She nods dutifully and turns on her heel prancing her way back to her position. What a great day this has been. She got to sit next to him in class, they’re partners for a take home project, _and_ she gets to gaze at him all night while he studies in her cafe. A beautiful waking dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have noticed that I have this horrible habit of getting wrapped in what I’m writing and absolutely DRAGGING the chapters. I’m sorry if these seem really short I’m just trying to break that habit. Of course if y’all want longer chapters I will be more than happy and willing to do that.


	3. How to Train Your Dragon King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring fully clothed smut and more tom foolery from Toga.

“Now that we’ve finished applying our black paint we’re going to finish our look by applying the lipstick.” Himiko explains to the camera, wagging her finger across her lip area. This is a very complicated look she’s doing and she has spent a lot of time recording and re-recording this video. It’s no skin off her bones because she does things like this all the time. Transformative makeup looks to help her viewers look like anything and anyone they want. Ranging all the way from famous celebrities to creepy demons. 

Today she has painted her upper chest in a fuck ton of red and black paint. The black represents dark shadow vines that stretch all the way up to her forehead and cover the left side of her face and parts of her nose. It’s on top of a heavy coating of white paint and her left eye has a ghastly white contact in it topped with white shadow over her eyelid accompanied with white mascara. Underneath her the black vines she’s got her second favorite color, red, splattered and dripping all over her neck. There’s deep red eyeshadow all over the right eye and red paint dripping to represent blood of course. Her right eye has a blackout lens in it and jet black mascara. Truly and beautifully creepy. 

“I’m using Queen Rihanna’s Fenty Stunna Lip Paint for my shade, but don’t be afraid to go darker. I just really like how this color makes my lips pop. I like to start by outlining my cupid and filling in. Make sure you don’t overdo it or your lipstick will look caked and you don’t want caked lips. Make it all smooth and even...just like that.” 

She pops her lips in the camera and flashes her teeth before picking up her black lip liner. “Now this is important, and I know I’ve said that a lot, but this part really is. We’re going for a smiley look here so you’re going to outline your lips with the black lip liner. I’m using Nyx’s retractable lip liner. Once you outline your lips, go to each corner and draw a _straight_ , _steady_ line up to the bottom of your cheek apples.” 

The last thing she does is the smudge work on her chin with more blood. There her look is finished. She’s so proud of herself. She poses for her glamour shots for the video and feels relieved that she finally gets to wrap up this video. It’s fun, but it’s also a lot of work. “Alright guys, well that wraps up this tutorial. I hope you guys enjoyed and that you find some good use for this look, I don’t know, maybe scare your parents or your kid siblings. I will be back next week with a new video for you all. If you’re new don’t forget to click that pretty little subscribe button. Much love to my little blood bunnies, ciao!” She blows a kiss into the camera and then switches it off. Now all she has to do is edit. 

_Dabi: It’s payday. You got my money?_ Oof, she almost forgot, she did forget. Shit she just went shopping dude this is horrible timing. 

_Yes I do :) :*_ How can she pull together 300 sheets in less than an hour?

_Dabi: Come to my room in 20_

Fuck! How can she pull together 300 sheets in 15 minutes? “Ray!! Rachel!!” She shouts, running out of her room to find her roomie. She bangs relentlessly on the bathroom door where she can hear the shower water running. “Rachel!!! Lemme in, I need money!” 

“Can I shower in peace please!?” Her eyes roll to the back of her head. The sleepwalker was literally here a few minutes ago. He’s part of the reason why she had to keep redoing her damn video. Shower in peace her ass, they’re getting off in there. 

“Please give me 300 bucks and I’ll leave you the purple bandit alone!” The door opens abruptly and Rachel pokes her dripping head out. 

“I hate carrying cash.” She frowns. “I only have like 40 bucks on me. Why do you need so much money?”

“It’s a long story, but just know that if I don’t get it, Dabi is gonna ruin my face.” She pouts, poking her lips out. 

“Well, usually I would say that sounds like a personal problem...but I like your face. I _guess_ you can have the cash. Toshi’s probably got a few bucks in his wallet, have at it.” 

“Stay out of my wallet?” She hears Hitoshi scoff. 

“Hmmm, you’re naked and I’m fast so you can’t stop me. I’ll pay you guys back, thanks Ray, thanks sleepwalker!” She’s quick to swipe the money before he actually can get his pants on and come after her. She’s only got 62 sheets in her hand. She’ll have to go find Miki. 

_Dabi, I have to pee, can you spare me a few minutes?_

Miki is in her room, her door is always unlocked, Himiko just waltzes right in there. Her friend is lounging on her couch watching TV and munching on power bars as if they’re actually good. “Miki I need 238 sheets stat.” She declares. 

The girl grimaces at her and waves her hand dismissively. “The fuck for? And what is on your face?” 

“Amazing makeup. I owe Dabi 300 and if he doesn’t get it in the next five minutes the next time you see me will be when they fish me out of the ocean.” 

“And _this_ is why we don’t mess with drug dealers.” 

Her head cocks to the side. “Doesn’t Akira snort coke?” She questions. 

“No!” Miki exclaims. 

“I feel like he does. Honestly you probably both do which is why you run so fast.” 

“And you want money from me? Get outta here.” 

_Dabi: Times a ticking doll_

It’s time to turn up the theatrics. Himiko throws herself to her knees groveling to her friend, she actually manages to shed some pretty convincing crocodile tears, she is such a good actress. Maybe she should go to acting school as a side hobby. Oh she would be amazing in a soap opera. Probably the show’s headliner. 

“Please Miki!! I’m too young and pretty to die!!” She wails. 

Miki groans, dragging her hand down her face. “You’re so dramatic. If I give you the money will you shut up?” 

“Obviously.” She cries. 

The woman stares at her with judgement in her eyes. She sighs heavily and pulls herself up off her couch to go and collect Himiko’s life in her hands. She has never noticed before but Miki has such a nice room. So open and cozy. Is this what it’s like to have a single? She would never abandon Rachel, but maybe they could get adjoining suites next year? Nah, it’d be too much work to wake up and go to Ray’s room when she gets scared or lonely at night. She absolutely _hates_ the dark. You never know what’s lurking in there. Probably demons that look like her right now. 

“You owe me,” Miki says, shoving the money at her. “I don’t kill, but I do charge interest. Less because I like you, but there will still be interest.” 

“Thank you!” She cheers, hopping up and leaning on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on her cheek. It’s still a bit of a reach so she uses Miki’s braid as leverage, pulling it to get her down to a reasonable level and gives her a nice wet one on her cheek. 

“Jeez, I really wish you wouldn’t pull my hair like that.” 

“Oh shut up, you like it. It’s kinky.” She winks and dashes off to go make her drop. Dabi is so confused by her face when she shows up completely out of breath. She’s always hated running, thinks running should be a sin. Bastard doesn’t even offer her water. 

“You’ll live Toga.” He mumbles, counting the crumpled bills. “If I had known you were gonna do that to your face I wouldn’t have threatened to mess it up myself.” 

“Rude. Don’t you watch my videos?” 

“Nope. YouTube isn’t my thing.” 

“If you don’t watch how did you know I post on YouTube?” She smirks. 

He shrugs, “because everyone who posts videos posts them on YouTube.” Dabi pockets the money and grins at her. “Now that we’re on good terms again, you free tonight?” 

“Oh no sir.” She says waving her hands around. “We can only be friends from here on out, I am now in a committed relationship.” 

He quirks a dark eyebrow at her. “With who?” 

“With a guy named none of your business.” She tells him. 

_Unknown: Where the fuck are you?_ Speak of the devil. That’s so sweet, he saved her number! “I have to go. I think our business here is done and don’t worry, you’re handsome in some weird outlandish way. I’m sure you’ll find a new special friend.”

He snorts lightly at her. “Special? Don’t fool yourself, you weren’t special, just..easy, ya know? Convenient.” 

She blinks up at him blankly. She’s never heard that before, doesn’t quite know how to respond. It doesn’t hurt her feelings...does it? It doesn’t make her mad. It just sits there in her head. It will...take her some time to process how she should react to such a statement. “Hm...okay. Well, buh-bye Dabi-kun.” 

  
  


Bakugou is waiting for her at the base of the fair lady statue in the campus square. He’s annoyed that she’s almost a half hour late and he’s also freaked out by the makeup on her face. Doesn’t anyone on this campus watch her fucking videos? 

“You’ve been walking around with that shit on your face all day?” 

“Not all day, just for the past...50 minutes? I rode the bus here and got lots of compliments.” 

“Tch, whatever. Let’s just get this out of the way.” He grunts, pulling out his notebook. Himiko plants herself down next to him on the concrete and peers over his shoulder. He’s so methodical. He’s got all of their questions grouped to sections of similarity. He tells her that all the food and drink based questions they can do the next time she works, the visual questions can be done at his dorm, and the outside and physical questions are best done right here. She can’t argue with that logic. 

The first thing he wants to test is reaction time. Does biological sex affect reaction time? He wants to do this with a series of different tests. A catch test, a point test, and a ruler test. He wants her to take three turns catching a ball he throws at her while he records how fast she reacts. The first time is just a slow, gentle toss. The second one is a little faster, but still not very hard. The last one he launches at her like he’s trying to take her head off. 

Himiko doesn’t play sports with balls involved because of the fact that she doesn’t like those kinds of balls flying to her face. It hurts and they can really do some damage. She flinches away from the last ball, shrieking her discontent for this activity. “Stop being dramatic, it wasn’t that hard.” He chides with a stupid smirk on his face. 

“Yeah? Let’s see how you like it?” She huffs. 

“Give it your best shot, noodle arms. I’m not a pussy, I can take it.” 

“I expected you to be smarter than that Bakugou-kun, pussies are consistently taking it. You should know since you’re consistently giving it to your select whores.” 

“Sounds like jealousy.” It is. 

“You know, we’ve known each other for two years-

“No we have not.” 

“And for some reason you keep overlooking me as if I’m not the prettiest chick you have ever seen. I mean look at me!” She declares, pointing at herself. 

Bakugou frowns at her. “You look like you crawled out of Satan’s asshole.” 

Damn, she forgot about the makeup. “You know what I mean. What’s so wrong with me?” 

“Just throw the fucking ball you crazy bitch.” Fine. She squeezes the ball in her hand and tosses it at him underhanded. It’s really low to the ground, but he’s quick to lean and catch it. “You have to record the time.” He grinds.

“Can’t I just count in my head?” 

“Did I count in my head?” 

She sighs, so picky. She holds her phone in one hand and the ball in the other. When the ball leaves her hand again she presses start and tries very hard to watch both him and the time. She doesn’t have the greatest multitasking skills, especially during something like this. She’ll just deduct like three seconds off his time. 

“I’m counting in my head for the last throw.” She tells him. “Don’t lecture me, I’m not listening, I’m just doing.” 

She grips the ball tightly, turning to her side like the pitchers do in baseball. This one is gonna be good. She’ll show him that she can do more than be cute. There has to be levels and depth to his attraction to her and obviously physical fitness is a good layer to add. 

“Holy shit, why is she flashing the whole courtyard?!” She gasps. Bakugou’s head turns, the pervert. She winds up and calls his name as she launches the ball with all the strength she has in her ‘noodle arms.’ Oh he’s so lucky that he’s quick because had he not been paying attention that really would have whopped him good. 

“The fuck was that?” He growls at her. 

“Me, testing your reaction time. Congrats baby you passed! You’re faster than me!” 

“Fucking obviously! And stop calling me that shit, I’m not your baby.” 

Her finger taps her chin thoughtfully. “Do you think we should include some more test subjects?” She wonders, ignoring his delusional outburst. “Not every girl has the same reaction time and neither do all boys. Someone could be faster than you a-

“ _Nobody_ is faster than me.” 

She sighs, “you’re right, please forgive me. Nobody is faster than you. You’re a speed god.” 

“Finally, the first smart thing you’ve said all day.” He folds his buff arms over his chest and glances around at all the unsuspecting people there. “Well, we did come here to observe.” 

“Good! You pick the girls, I’ll pick the guys!” Himiko is walking off before he can say anything. She has a plan. Bakugou likes his ego stroked. He likes being number one and feeling superior so she will find the two biggest, strongest, and cutest guys she can find wandering around out here to flaunt in his face. She just hopes they put his reaction times to shame. 

Most of them are freaked out by her makeup, she really has to take this stuff off, but she manages to find two suitable suitors and drags them back over to her test sight where Bakugou has already picked out his two test subjects. One of them is about as tall as Miki, she’s got beautiful arms and strong calf muscles, a better athletic build than Himiko. The other girl is just slightly taller than her, but stout. 

She sees what he's doing. Using different physical body types to try and get more varying results. Smart man. He’s being practical and she’s being opportunistic, they both have wonderful goals here. 

They decide they’ll use these people for the rest of their reaction tests. They each go through the ball toss and then they complete the ruler test, and finally the point test which was actually really funny. Katsuki shined a laser toy on the edge of the statue in varying places and gradually rising speed and they each had to take turns seeing how quickly they could smack the light. It was by far her most favorite test, she felt like a cat. 

One they’re done with the tests for that question, Bakugou throws their subjects away and Himiko sets off to find more subjects for their next question. How does a person’s heart rate respond differently to short intense bursts of exercise versus long stretches of steady exercise? This is such a good way to flaunt more guys and she just so happened to find the best runner on campus. Although, if she had known they were going to be working out she wouldn’t have jeans. 

Each participant will complete a ten minute workout and have their heart rate responded and then they will all complete a treacherous light job around campus for the length of one hour and record their heart rate after that. 

Yeah, next time _she’s_ deciding on the tests. She is exhausted and feels like she could definitely stand a shower when they’re done, but too tired to openly compliment their raven male participant on how well he hung in there. “You’re really fast, Akira!” She giggles, freeing his arm from the cuff. Usually she would call him crybaby, but she’s trying to make him look good. “You actually beat Bakugou, guess he’s not the best like he claimed.” 

Akira snorts, he’s barely broken a sweat at this. “‘Course I am. Fastest runner this university has ever had.” He grins proudly. 

“Yeah yeah.” She agrees. “Maybe you could train me.” 

“Sure, no problem. Miki might be jealous though. You know how competitive she is.” 

“Ouh, tell me about it.”

“Do it later.” Bakugou asserts. “You’re done here extra, we got work to do.” 

“Extra?”

“Don’t listen to him. He’s just salty cause he lost. He’ll get over it. Buh-bye Akira-kun!” 

“I ain’t salty about shit! That guy’s got at least six inches on me, of course he was faster if he’s taking longer strides idiot.” Really she is a masterful genius. It is just so wonderful how easily things can fall into place for her. 

She turns to him with a small smile on her face. He looks pissed, gravely annoyed. It’s almost unfathomable, he still looks handsome even when he’s glaring daggers at her. “Don’t think you’re fucking slick, loon. I’m not stupid, I know you’re trying to deliberately piss me off. It isn’t gonna work, I’m not about to be jealous over _you._ ” 

He’s not jealous over her right _now_ , but the thing is that he’s obviously sporting a bruised ego. It’s her job to nurse it back to health like a good doctor. She’s shown him she can be sweet and catering, she’s shown him she can bite back, and now she’ll show him that she can be supportive. 

“Aw, relax Bakugou. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you.” She says apologetically, striding over to his side. “Just admired your idea for differential subjects. I know Akira is an amazing athlete and so are you. The other guy was nowhere near as in shape as you guys, just wanted to see what differences those would have on your heart rates.” 

He doesn’t acknowledge her statement, just packs away the arm cuffs into his book bag and starts overlooking their last experiment for the day. Does exercise affect memory retention? You’ve got to be fucking kidding. 

She huffs heavily and goes off to find more willing participants for their last experiment. She is definitely going to shower when she gets back to her dorm. For this test they will each be given three separate sets of words that have absolutely nothing to do with each other, then they’ll do 10 jumping jacks, 10 push ups, and a 20 second plank. Once they finish they’ll repeat those words. “Should there be a variable?” She questions. “Should we talk about random shit while we work out so they can’t just focus on the words the whole time?” 

“Alright.” He agrees. They’re lucky that Himiko is a great conversationalist and her ruined makeup is a wonderful conversation piece. She explains the process in great detail to them while each of them take their turn. She even chatters her way through her own turn and completely forgets what the hell her words were. If anything she thinks she was just a bad example. She’s already been doing so much exercise today and her brain is worn out. But Bakugou remembered his words so he thinks she has no excuse. 

Overall she feels like they’re off to an amazing start. They got some impressive results today and Bakugou has such neat handwriting. Right now everything is just logged in his notebook, but Himiko offers to fancy them up and chart them, for flair or whatever. He doesn’t trust her to handle it. “I’ve seen your notes in class, chicken scratch.” 

“I’ll make them pretty I swear!” She pleads. “I’ll even use my glitter pens and everyone knows you’re only allowed to write prettily with glitter pens.” 

Bakugou stares at her with ‘get real’ eyes and she stares back at him with ‘I am real’ eyes. Eventually he caves and tells her he’ll send her a photo of his notes, but he’s not letting her take the hard copies. “We’ll meet next week.” 

“Next week?!” 

“Yeah, limiting our contact, I already see you three times a week in class and apparently you work all the damn time. I need breaks, in case you didn’t notice you’re kind of a lot to handle.” 

“But I’m fun right?” She smiles, rocking on her heels and the balls of her feet. “C’mon, you can’t tell me today was awful. You would’ve had a worse time with Deku and you know it.” 

He starts staring at her again, but it’s by far the calmest look he’s ever given her. It sends chills up and down her spine and makes her cheeks go crazy red under her makeup. “I’ll text you when I’m free. Go wash that shit off her face.” He slings his bag over his shoulder and walks off leaving her to stare at his back as he leaves. Another wonderful day to put in the books.

* * *

He’s taking too long to text her. She keeps asking him in class when they’re going to pick this project back up and offering to show him the good work she’s doing on their charts. She wants to make sure that this connection they’re forming doesn’t break before it’s even fully formed. He just tells her the same things repeatedly. Oh he’s busy with other assignments, he’s got football practice, internships to go to. 

She knows it’s irrational because of course he wouldn’t do this, but she kind of feels like he really is just trying to get away from her. So obviously she has to find a way to rationalize this. He witnessed firsthand and for the first real time just how great she is and he’s falling stupidly in love with her. He’s scared about such strong emotions, naturally, so he’s trying to give himself space to work through his feelings. She’s given him four days of space. It’s Saturday, there’s no practice today, no internships, it’s time for him to come back to her. 

_Come to my dorm. :)_

_Bakubaby: Tf? No, I told you I would let you know when I’m free._ Oh he replies quickly? Good, very good, she likes a man that responds to her with haste. 

_Oh come on! I’m off today, you’re off today, it’s the perfect chance for us to work on these questions._

_I thought you wanted to finish fast and be rid of me, sir?_

_Besides I already ransacked my job and stole all this stuff for us, don’t make me waste it Kacchan :”(_

This time his response isn’t as swift. She _could_ spam him with messages until he does, but he’s still learning so she’ll cut him some slack, this time. 

_Bakubaby: You are fucking insufferable._

_Bakubaby: What’s your damn room number?_

It takes him all of 10 minutes to reach her. Bakugou has them scheduled to do mood questions during their second meeting, but she didn’t steal all this shit from work for no reason. They’re going to have a coffee date and taste their senses. 

She has a bag of rare coffee beans ready to be ground and brewed, muffins, a variety of croissants, and paninis for tasting. She has also procured a foul smelling bowl of vinegar for their first experiment. Does sense of smell affect sense of taste? 

“These questions you picked out are going to take too long.” He grumbles, scrunching his nose up at her vinegar bowl. 

“Entertain me.” She shrugs, delivering him a large cup of piping hot straight black coffee. Personally Himiko hates black coffee, but they need straight unadulterated caffeine for their second question which they will be recording the effects of the entire time. How does caffeine affect the body? “Star drinking, slowly and be careful it’s hot.”

“I see the steam.”

“I was just being kind.” 

“More like stating the blatantly obvious.” Himiko brushes him off easily and picks up the vinegar bowl. 

“Okay so here’s how we’ll do this. We’ll each take a really big whiff of this smelly shit and eat a blueberry muffin while smelling it. Tell me how strong your sense of taste is.” 

He sighs and picks up a blueberry muffin, unwrapping it. You really don’t have to be that close to the bowl to smell how strong this vinegar is, but he leans in anyways for a more effective smell, even tells her to hold it up to him for continuous effect and then takes a hearty bite out of his muffin. She watches his jaw move mechanically as he chews. He’s got such a strong jawline, sharp and well defined. Smooth with not even a single bit of stubble in sight. What she wouldn’t give to run her hand over it, kiss it. 

His Adam’s Apple bobs when he swallows and she almost lets out a questionable sigh. 

He reports that his sense of taste was altered, but not completely overwhelmed by the vinegar. He tasted less blueberry than usual, more of a sour tangy taste than a sweet one. When it’s her turn he holds the bowl for her she eats a muffin. Himiko’s nose is fine tuned, and can smell the slightest and strangest of scents from a pretty impressive distance. She can smell blood the best, it’s like she has a sixth sense for the stuff. 

The vinegar certainly doesn’t smell like blood, but it is definitely stronger for her than it is for Bakugou. She feels like she can practically taste the vinegar in her mouth, it’s acrid, an absolutely repulsive taste and ruining this once delicious muffin for her. And to think she has to do this two more times? 

She’s logging in their panini results when she catches Bakugou eyeing the shadow box she has hanging on her wall. It was a college gift from her ever loving and doting father. “Competition medals.” She explains. “I did gymnastics when I was a kid.” 

“You? The loon that bitched and moaned about having to work out so much the other day?” He questions with disbelief.

She chuckles softly and shrugs, furrowing her brows. “Like I said, I was a kid back then. Dad wanted me to do everything because I was the first born and he needed an example for my sisters. I did gymnastics for 16 years, ballet for 12, piano for 13. Then I quit all of it because I absolutely hated it. Well not _absolutely._ I actually kind of liked gymnastics. Flying through the air, doing somersaults, it was fun, made me feel light. But that’s what my dad wanted and I decided I didn’t want to be stupid role model anymore.”

“I didn’t ask for a whole story.” 

“You were obviously curious.” She smirks. Himiko sets her notebook down and scooches just a bit closer to him, tucking her hands between her thighs. “You’re really pretty to look at.”

“That so?” He grunts. “What is it with you? You barely know me.” 

“I don’t have to know you like the back of my hand to think you’re pretty Bakugou-kun.” 

“You should probably get to know me more before you throw yourself at me like some psycho.”

“Is that an offer?” She grins. 

“A general statement.” He utters, narrowing his eyes at her. 

Her eyes roll and she sighs. “Kind of sounds like you’re being a hypocrite to me. How well do you know Utsushimi and Setsuna?” She questions. “Or any of the other girls you hook up with at parties? Do you _really_ weave the time out to get so formally acquainted with them before pulling their panties down?” 

Her tone is challenging, but not harsh. She’s genuinely asking because she wants to get to the bottom of the whole ‘why not me’ question from a few days ago. She needs to hear him say out loud there he’s just too nervous about being with her or if Rachel and Miki are right and she’s somehow got this all wrong then she deserves to hear that too. 

The floor is his to address and she’s waiting patiently for him to respond. Usually he’s so fast to shoot off a response. ‘Stay the fuck out of my business’ maybe or ‘that doesn’t concern you, shithead’ but he doesn’t say either of those things. 

Instead he looks as if he’s trying to discern her without having to ask. She’s a mystical puzzle in his eyes, an anomaly of sorts. Most girls steer away from him because of that attitude of his. And the girls that don’t? They’re not like her. They’re bold but not nearly quite as brazen as her. They use sensual seduction as their only tactic to garner his attention whereas she’s a switch. She’s soft on him, polite, sassy, and flirty. He’s probably not used to someone trying to have that kind of relationship with him. Just used to the good ol’ hit it and quit it game, the fun stringless taps. She wants strings. All of them. 

“You’re definitely the strangest chick I ever met.” He finally tells her. Strange isn’t bad, she’ll take that. “I just don’t get you..your stupid crush or whatever. It seems real out of the blue.” 

“Aren’t they all though?” She presses, narrowing her eyes. “At least a lot of them. You see someone, you like someone, you see them more and more and the feelings just grow you know?” 

“Oh so you got feelings for me now?” 

She can just feel her cheeks getting hot again. Her stomach is performing her competition winning floor routine. She pushes herself onto her hands and knees and slowly crawls over to him, prowling. She stops when she’s close enough to feel his body heat radiating off of pale skin. His eyes are so much prettier up close.

“I _feel_ like I like you...a lot. I _feel_ like you and I could make a really good team if you’d stop being so hmm, acerbic.” She whispers. “You’re like a dragon Bakugou, not just a dragon, the _king_ of them. You blow fire at people to protect yourself, burn them all away, but I’m not scared of you. I like to play with fire and big dragons.” Those cardinal eyes focus on her lips, shiny with gloss and parted slightly.

This is the closest she’s ever gotten to him and she’s practically _searing_ in her clothes. She wants to kiss him right then and there and he looks like he would let her. But of course, she has a plan in play. If she gives into her inhibitions now she runs the risk of setting herself up for one of those no strings attached relationships and that’s not what she wants out of this. Of course there is the trope where it starts off no strings attached but then it obviously turns into a full blown romance, but nah. She wants the whole thing in full force, no dilly dallying. 

She licks her lips, “how is your body feeling after having caffeine in your system for an hour?” She asks him, abruptly switching the topic. 

“Fine.” He grunts. He leans over to grab his cup, taking another swing of the caffeine and she smiles widely following his lead. 

“Good, so am I. Let’s get started on that next question yeah?” Does food affect saliva production? 

For this task they aren’t actually going to be eating any food, just staring at it. They will measure they’re spit by chewing on cotton swabs while both staring at the food and not staring at the food and then spitting the saliva into clear plastic cups and then measure how much spit they produced. 

It’s time for her final act. She has a wonderful idea that she would like to try involving saliva production and it doesn’t involve chewing on cotton swabs. “My fingers?” 

“Mhm.” She hums cheerily, her own small hands grabbing his right. “The food is nice, but you have such nice hands, Bakugou. Big, rough, strong; such thick, _long_ fingers.” She’s already salivating just at the idea.

He’s got the look again, hesitant but inquisitive. She kisses his fingers lightly, nuzzling her nose against the callus pads. “We can’t record this shit for science, idiot.” He breathes out. 

She shrugs, drawing her over the side of his pointer finger while she’s ahead. She gives off a shaky sigh, he tastes kind of like caramel, her new favorite candy. Himiko draws his finger in her mouth, keeping her eyes locked with his as he watches her with a more intense gaze. She brings his middle finger in on the fun, sucking slowly on them. 

Her tongue glides other two thick digits and her mind wanders what it would feel like to have those same digits nestled between a different pair of lips. Her thighs clench together and she moans softly at the eroticism of the moment they’re sharing together. “Didn’t know your big mouth had so many uses.” And it’s even more perfect that he’s into it. 

She giggles giddily over his fingers, she _does_ have a pretty wide mouth. Bakugou decides he wants to take advantage of that, adding a third finger to her mouth and using his other hand to grip her jaw. She breathes evenly through her nose as much as possible, relaxing her throat while he fucks his fingers into her mouth, deeper and deeper down her throat. 

“You probably fantasize about this shit all the time?” He growls quietly. “Sucking my fingers like some dirty slut.” 

The last time she was choked she was miffed about it, but being choked by Bakugou’s fingers feels wonderful. She can feel her eyes burning and brimming with tears and it’s getting harder to focus on breathing evenly when she’s getting so excited. She gags around his fingers, there’s drool dripping down her chin. “You’ve never looked sexier, imagine how hot you’re gonna look with my cock in your mouth.” She shivers, her eyes fluttering. 

Her tongue works over his fingers, the tips, the sides, between them, coating and slicking them in her saliva. His fingers stroke along the roof of her mouth before pressing down on her tongue and inching back towards her throat again. Her jaw hurts and he’s going to leave bruises on her face before he’s done here. He curses under his breath and finally frees her jaw, circling his free arm around her waist, dragging her into his lap, her arms looping around his neck. “C’mere.” He demands. The bulge in his sweats is large, and bulging. It feels good pressed up against her soaked panties.

She doesn’t need him to tell her what to do from here, her hips setting to work in his lap. Grinding down against him as hard as she can, desperate to feel him pressed up against her. His left hand slips under her skirt, palming her ass and squeezing the flesh. “Fuck.” He hisses as she moans around his fingers a little louder. The friction against her clit coupled with the three fingers in her mouth is driving her wild. He removes his digits from her mouth and she breathes in hard. 

“Messy bitch,” he pants, grinning up at her. 

“I can be _so_ much messier.” She tosses her head back laughing, and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. He grabs the side of her neck and presses his lips to her fevered skin, sucking and biting on tender flesh, his hips bucking up into her roughly. Her thighs tightened around his legs, her cunt quivering and clenching at absolutely nothing. There’s a buzzing in her body, strong and toe curling, she’s gonna cum right here in his lap and god it’s gonna be great. 

Her fingers grip his hair yanking his head back and her lips crash onto his, sealing it as her first real kiss with Bakugou Katsuki. She’s so happy that she’s liable for having a heart attack right now. Her elation drives her on, grinding against him frantically until she pushes them both overboard. It’s just a raunchy dry hump, but it was still much better than just touching herself to the fake images in her head.

Her whole face is probably the color of his eyes and she’s so happy, basking in orgasmic bliss. She always knew she was right and this is just proof. Bakugou Katsuki likes her, like _really_ likes her and now he’s ready to start falling in love with her. 


	4. I Won’t Say I’m In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me to myself: You should stop tormenting these characters that you claim to love so much.  
> Also me: Nah, they’ll be fine, it builds character.
> 
> This story is gonna get messy from here on out :)

“Hey hey! Cups up, cheers to another blowout win fellas!” Kaminari cheers loudly at the table. The boys, the ones Katsuki will allow next to him, roar with excitement, cheersing their cups together and drinking to their latest game victory. 

Bakugou personally doesn’t think they have anything to be celebrating about. “Your ass was on the ground tonight more than the ball was dunce face. Stop drinking so damn much and you could stay upright.” He lectures, glaring at the other blonde who smiles and sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. 

“C’mon man, cut me some slack, the ground was slick tonight.” 

“Slick my ass.” He bites out. 

Kirishima carelessly tosses his arm around Bakugou’s shoulders, grinning at him with that stupid happy look on his face. “Save the lecture for the next practice bro! Tonight let’s just celebrate that we pulled out a manly victory and we’re another step closer to nationals!” They yell again, prompting Katsuki to send his eyes on a round trip in his head. 

The whole team is spread across the vicinity of McRuther’s, their usual go to spot after winning a game. It’s the same routine, they win, they drag him out to eat, they bribe the waitress for alcohol, get drunk and start going off about stupid shit, and he gets stuck dragging the one’s he cares about back home. Why does he keep putting himself through this? And why the hell are Deku and the half and half bastard here _again_? Team members or not, he doesn’t like them.

“Are you bro’s going to Mineta’s party this weekend?” Kaminari grins, “I heard there’s going to be strippers.”

“Mineta? Hosting a party? With strippers?” Kirishima frowns. “I mean you realize how crazy that sounds right?”

“What dude, it’s Mineta, it sounds very on brand.”

“No, I mean him having a party that _anyone_ is going to go to. Especially chicks and strippers.” 

Just the sound of his name, Mineta, makes Bakugou frown. He’s a little purple haired runt that Bakugou would like to kick across the damn field. He’s like a pariah on campus, all he does is harass women and exploit his height to sneak sleazy up skirt photos. Nobody in their right mind would ever go to a party he’s hosting. Which is probably exactly why Kaminari sounds like he’s going. That will most certainly be a solo affair for him. 

“I heard your brother is throwing a party Todoroki, some off campus rager in an abandoned warehouse. It sounds legit.” It sounds like something that’s going to get raided by the drug enforcement team.

“You’re all invited of course. It’s obviously going to be better than Mineta’s party.” 

“I think I’ll pass. Uraraka wants me to help her with her new video post.” Deku declines. “She’s been training really hard and she’s eager to show off her new defense skills.” 

Deku’s girlfriend, round face or whatever her name was, posts a lot of self defense combat videos online. Chick got mugged freshman year and has seriously never let it go. She turned it into a platform on YouTube where she got _kind of_ popular and is now just another one of those little internet people. 

“Bakubro? You’re coming right? Heard Setsuna’s going.” 

“And?” He scoffs. Setsuna can go to whatever party she pleases, he doesn’t give a shit. She’s just a side piece to a side piece as far as he’s concerned and her presence somewhere will never influence his desire to go somewhere. 

Furthermore, he fucking _hates_ half and half’s older brother. The guy is a certified joke and a low life drug dealer. Todoroki claims his late collegiate start is because of childhood incident that had him out of the system for a while, but Katsuki is convinced he just kept flunking and their daddy paid the right people off. The only reason people even seem to gravitate to him is because he’s a few years older and they think if they hang out with him they’ll get free tattoos or whatever. He honestly doesn’t even know why this guy is wasting his time with this college thing anyways when all he does is skip, smoke, and plow everyone’s girlfriend. 

“You’re late Eiji, Bakugou doesn’t care about Setsuna anymore. Don’t you know he’s been hanging out with his little fangirl lately?” The blonde sniggers. 

If either of them had even half a brain cell they would know how stupid they sound right now, ouh-ing at him as if they just uncovered some big secret. “I’m gonna shove my foot up your ass you idiot. I already told you, it’s for a damn project.” 

“A project that sent you back to the dorm with cum stains on your pants? Yeah, okay buddy.” Fucking hell, now they’re really ouh-ing. He can feel his ears growing hot, Kaminari is getting tripped into concrete on their way out of here. 

Allow him to explain. What happened on the floor of that crazy loon’s dorm room was a sure fire mistake. How about _you_ shove three fingers in a girl's mouth and see if it doesn’t make you hard? Three fingers? At that moment it didn’t matter how crazy she was, that’s impressive because none of these other chicks have done it. And before that she had been crawling around in her short little skirt and whispering all sensually to him. He had full access to her ass every time she turned around and leaned over and of course the skimpy pink lace thong didn’t shield anything. She’d done it on purpose, trying to pander his biological weakness. Cheater. 

But it won’t happen again. “So I got off, fucking sue me, doesn’t mean shit and it ain’t happening again.” He was a shameful weak man and he will not be caught lacking by her again. 

“If it were me,” Kaminari starts, “I would do her. I heard she's genuinely crazy and writes weird fanfics about that show ‘Love Madness’ but I _also_ heard crazy chicks are great in bed. Not like she’s a bad looker or anything either.” 

“I heard you’re not supposed to stick your dick in crazy.” Todoroki counters.

“Denki...do you watch that show.”

He snorts, “no!”

”So you read her stories then? Is that how you know what she writes?” Kirishima smirks. Denki blanches a little and frowns. 

  
“Okay fine..it’s a good show, leave me alone.”

“Guys, maybe let’s not talk about Toga-chan like this?” Deku frowns. “I don’t think she’s crazy, she’s a really sweet girl.” Does he even know her? Does he ever pay attention to the shit that comes out of her mouth during lab? 

Whatever, if Deku is also insane, that’s not his problem and he’s completely fine with never talking about her again. Besides, it’s getting late and they’ve got an early morning practice tomorrow. It’s time to wrap up the stupid shenanigans and get these assholes out of here before they get too deep. 

  
  


It’s drizzling in the morning. The sun is hidden by clouds and the air is hot and muggy. It feels like it would’ve been a perfect day to work on that project and if it keeps raining then he can. But right now his mind is focused on the ball he’s dribbling between his cleats. Like everything else in his life, football is a natural talent for Bakugou. He’s been playing since he was old enough to walk.

It started out as just a fun way to kick balls into people’s faces and laugh about it but over time, and several anger management courses, it became something he genuinely liked because it’s fun and he’s passionate about it. He trains hard and constantly pushes his body to the limits to make sure that he is the best and that he’s always giving a good game because football has always given him its best. 

It’s the only reason he even came to this school in the first place, because they have such an elite and promising football team. By the time he graduates, he’ll be ready to go pro and play on the tv screens of everyone in the country, worldwide where he’ll show them all just how good he is. 

He’s played every position in his lifetime, but on this college team his aggressive and competitive nature is seen best fit as the attacking midfielder. It’s his job to steal the ball from the opposition, protect the ball and create scoring opportunities for his team, most of which he prefers to do himself because let’s face it, he can’t trust these idiots. Regardless of whatever position he’s in, him being in it makes it absolutely paramount to success. 

Their team is running drills, playing against each other. He’s got the ball, carrying it downfield with half and half and dunce face flanking his sides, trying to worm the ball away from him. They’re not gonna get it so easily. Kirishima is doing a blind run on the side ready to receive his pass so he breaks away from these two morons and sends the ball across the field to one of the only people he’s comfortable passing to. 

The redhead carries the ball down and chip shots over Deku’s head and right into the net. He really hates Deku, but he can admit, in his head, that the guy is pretty skilled when it comes to kicking the ball clear out of their goal, all the way down the field and into the opponents goal. There’s hardly anything you can do when the ball is flying through the air except get as wide open as possible in hopes that he falls short. 

He does, but just barely. The wet ground is probably to thank for that. He’s got the ball back, pushing it right back towards Deku. His leg snaps back and kicks the ball forward just as Kaminari slips in to try and steal it. He misses the ball, but what he does catch is Bakugou’s left ankle. 

The first thing he thinks when the back of his jersey hits mud and kicked up dirt is that he’s going to bury that son of a bitch. How many times has he laid into that douche about sliding into his own teammates? Save that shit for the people they’re trying to beat. 

Their coach blows the whistle calling for a halt in their practice and starts to jog himself over. “My bad dude, it was an accident.” Kaminari apologizes offering his hand for help. It’s rejected. He can do it himself and that’s when he notices the second thing. This thing kinda hurts. 

“Bakugou, are you gonna be able to walk it off?” His coach asks. Of course he will. 

“I’m fine.” He declares, steadily applying pressure to his ankle. He has to be fine. This is his everything. 

“Kacchan, maybe you should go to the infirmary, let them check your ankle out just to be safe. You went down really hard.” 

“I’ll take you!” Kaminari offers, giving him such pathetic sad eyes. 

“I said I’m _fine_.” He growls. The coach stares at him for a few seconds before relenting. He decides to let him keep going, blowing the whistle so their practice can resume. 

Walking on his ankle stings, but he figures it won’t be that way for long. He just needs to play on it, run off the pain and he does. The ball gets passed to him and he pulls it into his control. Everything is fine...until he pops and crashes.

* * *

There are some things in life that you never imagine happening to you. What Katsuki never imagined was having a second degree sprain to his ankle and being benched for a month. _He,_ Bakugou fucking Katsuki, is going to be on crutches with a splint around his ankle. He has to _relax_ , take things easy or he won’t recover as soon as he should. Bullshit. So much fucking bullshit. 

He can’t even be as mad at Kaminari as he wants to be because there’s just something a blubbering apology that just makes it seem not worth it. Tears leaking from his eyes, snot running down his nose like some child. He’s already sworn at least a hundred times to make it up to him. Promising to do literally anything and everything he needs or wants him to. Right now he _needs_ him to get out of his face. 

He wants to be alone right now so he can brood in silence. “Alright I guess.” The other blonde sniffles. “I’m just down the hall man, call me if you need anything? Please?” 

Bakugou’s eyes roll, “just go would you? And stop beating yourself up, that’s my job after I finish recovering.” 

Kaminari pouts and sighs, dragging his slouching form out of Bakugou’s room. Kirishima pats him on the back on his way out and then looks at Bakugou with pursed lips. 

“You know it really was an accident right? He’s seriously sorry.” 

“I’m gonna give you a list of things I don’t wanna do right now. Thing one, talk about this stupid injury. Done.” 

His roommate chuckles and he declares that he must get ready for class. Speaking of class, Bakugou has his own classes to tend to. The physician told him to take today and the weekend off to just elevate and ice his ankle, but fuck that. He isn’t handicapped and he can still make it to the remainder of his classes today. 

He slips into his hoodie and shoes, shrugging on his backpack and grabbing those damned crutches. Kirishima _tries_ to stop him on his way out because he’s supposed to rest the first three days, but he’s already gone through the trouble of getting his shoe on over that damned splint. His professors are going to see his mug today. 

It’s Friday and he missed the lecture, but he’s there for the lab and so is Himiko. She barely gives him time to hobble through the door before she’s running across the room to get to him. _‘Kill me now.’_ He thinks with an outward groan. 

She’s gasping with her hands pressed against those stupidly red cheeks of hers. “My precious baby!! Deku-kun said you got hurt, I was so worried! All I could think was that you got hit by a truck or something!” 

He scowls at her, what the fuck? _That’s_ the first conclusion she jumped to after hearing he got hurt? On the practice field? “Would you get away from me, I’m fine.” 

“You are and I’m so happy.” She sighs dreamily. “We should hug to celebrate.”

“We should not.” He starts moving around her towards this shitty ass table he got stuck at. Himiko pulls out his chair for him and he has such a strong urge to be petty and just stand for the rest of the class, but these crutches are very uncomfortable under his arms, so he sits. 

“Kacchan I explicitly told her you suffered an ankle injury during practice, I don’t know where she got this bus thing from.” Deku tells him. 

That irrelevant idiot at their table asks him if he’s feeling okay and Bakugou stares at him incredulously. How dare he talk to him, he knows they’re not friends. “Bakubaby are you feeling okay?” Himiko asks then, her hands massaging his shoulders. 

“Sit down, Toga. And stop touching me.” 

“Okay okay, I’ll only touch you in private.” She giggles crazily. Oh god this class is gonna be torture. 

When they’re dismissed, Himiko grabs his bag before he can and walks off with it, leaving him with no real option than to follow her. She’s apparently going to help him get to his next class and worse yet, she’s just declared herself his official nurse. He’ll have to let shitty hair know that she is by no means allowed into their room. 

By the time his next class finishes his shoe is starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable on his left foot. He just knows that if he looked at it it would be more swollen than it already is. He doesn’t like admitting when other people are right though so he’s powering through it. He’s hungry and the cafe is open, apparently they’re serving spaghetti today so that’s where he’s heading to, where _they’re_ heading to. 

“So you left your class early just to come get me?” 

Himiko shrugs, placing his plate in front of him at the exclusive table she’s picked out. “It was only a few minutes early, no skin off my bones. Besides, I would do anything for you.” 

Todoroki was right, this is why you don’t stick your dick in crazy...and he hasn’t even slept with her. “You have to stop saying stuff like that.” 

“Why? I’m a very kind and compassionate person, Bakugou. I would tell my friends the same thing. Matter of fact, I say it already.” 

“They’re your friends though.” He tells her. She looks at him with a puzzled expression and he licks his lips. “You and I?” He starts, motioning between them. “We’re not friends. We’re classmates.” 

“But we’re eating lunch together?” 

“Because you made me sit here by holding my bag and my food hostage.”

Himiko presses a knuckle to her mouth and narrows her feline eyes at him, humming doubtfully. “Your fingers were in my mouth _and_ you humped me.” 

His eyes widen and he hisses at her. Bakugou leans into the table, beckoning her closer so she can hear him loud and clear. “ _You_ seduced _me._ I would’ve never done that otherwise. What don’t you understand about that?” 

“I _understand_ that I seduced you...you could’ve told me to fuck off. I would’ve stopped.” 

“Would you?” He snaps. “You’re so fucking convoluted I’m not sure you’d even know what stop means.” 

Before this moment he didn’t think Toga knew any other emotions than happy, he figured her face was naturally programmed to only exhibit jubilant and occasionally confused emotions. But the one she bears right now is just blank, completely devoid of all that giddy amusement. He snorts through his nostrils quite pleased with himself for finally wiping that grin off her face.

She turns away from him and reaches out for her glass, splashing it in his face. It’s cold, it’s soda so his eyes are burning. Shit shit shit, another reason why you don’t piss off crazy. He considers himself lucky she didn’t grab the knife on the table instead. And as if the soda wasn’t enough the stupid maniac flips his plate in his lap and kicks his crutches away from him. “You’re fucking insane!” He shouts heatedly, hobbling up on his good foot. “You got a death wish or something?!” 

“I _wish_ you would treat me nicer!” She shouts back. “You shouldn't say such mean and awful things about your friends Bakugou! I’m leaving, you can come and apologize to me when you stop being an ass!” 

Apolo-apologize to _her?_ “I’ll apologize to you when hell freezes over!” He shouts at her retreating back. He huffs, his fists are shaking with anger. That brazen little cunt. Someone touches his shoulder and he jerks away, he doesn’t need some random to check on him. Like he said, he’s _fine._ He didn’t want her goddamn help anyways. He snatches his crutches away from an innocent aid and grips the strap of his bag between his teeth. See, he’s got this shit handled?

She must be out of her fucking mind, completely off this planet. Who does she think she is? Nobody walks away from him like that, after disrespecting him? He laughs almost maniacally through gritted teeth. He’ll show her. She thinks she’s got some control, some kind of upper hand against him? Ha, Bakugou Katsuki is a _certified_ genius. Two can play her stupid games but there will only be one winner, _him_. 

Toga Himiko has invaded his life, shoved her way into his comfort zones, and has consistently tried shoving her ridiculous affections down his throat. She wants him, she’s got him. He’ll play his own game while making her think he’s submitting to hers. And by the end of it all, she will _never_ fuck with him again. Years of anger management have just flown right out the window.


	5. Bad Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for body shaming. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long, been feeling very down. I rewrote this several times and still don’t like it very much so if it doesn’t flow with the next chapter expect a rewrite. Anyways, I present to you a level one asshole the Bakugou edition.

When Toga stormed into her dorm room she was ready to divulge her grievances to Rachel and tell her friend that she was right and Bakugou was trash. Ugh, how could he say that to her? It makes her feel...icky. Did she go too far? She never meant to make him uncomfortable, she just wanted to open his eyes a little, but maybe she should have gone about it a different way. She really did think he was into it though. They’re just fingers! He could have snatched his hand away. He pulled  _ her  _ onto  _ his  _ lap, groped  _ her  _ butt, kissed  _ her  _ neck. 

She tosses back and forth on Ray’s bed and wails, slapping herself for being so stupid. Her father always told her she needed to practice self restraint. She moved too fast and ruined all her hard work and now she’s screwed. What is she going to do about her project? 

This is kind of reminiscent of that time in middle school when she had that major crush on her classmate. Only that crush wasn’t nearly as great as what she felt for Bakugou. That was just kiddie love, she thought what she had,  _ would have _ , with Bakugou would be real.

“I know you probably think I’m going to say ‘I told you so.’” 

“Oh and you’re not?” 

“Maybe if you weren’t so upset.” Ray shrugs. The girl sighs heavily, tucking thick hair behind her ears. She places a warm hand on Himiko’s thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not always harping on you about your Bakugou fantasies because I think they’re stupid or you’re stupid. You’re my best friend and I just don’t like the people close to me getting hurt.” 

She whimpers in her spot, “I just feel really stupid for not believing you.” 

“You sound normal. Everyone has a crush that they’re really into and don’t want to let go of.” 

Yeah and those people get made fun of. She’s going to get made fun of! “Your spirits are down. Why don’t we go out on the town? Get irresponsible piercings and bad dye jobs.” Ray suggests. Good lord no, Himiko’s hair is already a freak of nature that’s hard enough to manage, trying to put dye in it would be more work then she’s willing to go through.“I don't really care to attend the rest of my classes, not like it would make the difference, so we can do whatever.” 

Her spirits  _ are _ down and a delicious icy cold pomegranate milkshake with cinnamon nuggets, and a little retail therapy sounds like a perfect pick me up. Spending money on pink things always makes her feel better. 

The first place they run to is the shake shack for their sugary sweets and the mall is next. She has more than enough clothes at her disposal, her closet is overflowing into Rachel’s closet at this point so clothes aren’t what she’s looking at. Instead they spend their time in novelty and accessory shops. You can never have too many cell phone cases, and jewelry is fun for everybody. “Himi they’re going all the way up to your elbows, I don’t think you need anymore bracelets.” 

Truly her arms could stand in for cymbals in a marching band now or even better, tambourines in a church choir. “You know what I’ve always wanted? A series of toe rings.”

“A series?” Ray scoffs, quirking an eyebrow. “I mean I could see one, but why a whole series?” 

“Pinterest inspiration really.” She nods, starting a selection of gold and silver toe jewelry. Rachel opts to look at the array of chokers on another rack. “So um...do you think I’ll ever find a good boyfriend?” 

“We’re  _ not  _ talking about relationships right now.” The other blonde says. “Today is just about you.” 

Himiko whines out loud, throwing a miniature tantrum in her spot. “But it’s  _ always  _ about me!” She objects. “You have your relationship to make your life about, Miki has not one but  _ two  _ people to make her life about and me? I got no one!” 

It’s unbelievably annoying having to sit there and watch her two best friends be happy with their boyfriends and girlfriend and Himiko is just  _ there _ . She’s got no real lovey dovey stories to tell people, there’s no one sending her cute messages or buying her gifts and shit and their partners don’t count because they make them get her shit. 

“It’s called patience.” Rachel stresses. “You can’t force these things. Now let’s please talk about something else. How’s your story coming along? What are you doing for your next tutorial?” 

This absolutely blows. “I know you think it’s not fair or whatever, but think about it this way. Why waste your time thinking about that asshole when he’s not thinking about you?” And  _ that  _ is just hurtful. She would like to think that he’s thinking about her, going crazy in his mind the same way she is. But he’s probably not. He would have called or texted her by now if he was. 

Rachel is right. She’s got to get over this hump, they both made mistakes and now isn’t the time to dwell on them. She could use some more supplies for her upcoming video and the best place to get bulk makeup at discounted prices is Amazon. “Well if we’re done here we can go back to the room before you start online shopping. My social meter is empty.” Of course it is, you can never take your Rachel out in public without proper charging first. 

Back at the dorm, her shopping cart on Amazon is loaded down with new makeup supplies and she’s fully ready to checkout. What she isn’t prepared for is the payment error page. The fuck? Did her dad run out of money? All the shopping she’s done today and it chooses right  _ now  _ to be empty?  _ Now  _ when she needs it most? She scoffs, grimacing at the screen and then dials up her dad for an obviously much needed chat.

The line briefly rings before he answers,  _ “Daughter.”  _

“Well...hello to you too daddy.” She greets. “Yeah, just calling to see if you knew your card was being declined?” 

_ “Of course it’s declined, Himiko!”  _ He snapped. _ “I didn’t send you to school so you could spend all my money. You have a job, you work, you spend your own money! That card is for emergencies!”  _

“But dad this is an emergency! I need more makeup supplies! How am I supposed to do my videos without them?” She whines into the phone. 

_ “I don’t care about your videos. How many times have I told you that you need to give up those silly dreams? Focus on your schoolwork.”  _

Ugh, she most certainly didn’t call for a lecture. This is the exact reason why she doesn’t call him as much as most loving children call their loving parents. He’s always got something to criticize her about. 

“Daddy, I’m taking my classes seriously.” She sighs. “And I don’t have my paycheck because I got robbed...last week I think?” She has long since recovered from being robbed and she even made back the money she gave to Dabi...of course she lost it all again when she had to pay it back to her friends. 

_ “You...you what? Where were you when this happened? Did you report it?”  _ Great, now he’s going to harp about this. 

“Okay fine if you’re going to make it a big deal about it then I wasn’t robbed.” Her phone buzzes against her ear and she looks at it while her dad is going off on the other end. 

_ Bakubaby: Can you come over so we can talk? _

If you could feel the pressure that just slammed into her heart. Tears immediately spring to her eyes. He texted her. So they could talk. And here she was stupidly thinking that she’d ruined everything. “Daddy I have to go, love you and all that Jazz, buh-bye.” She hangs up without another word. She needs to make sure that this isn’t some sick trick. 

_ About what?  _ She replies. 

_ Bakubaby: I think you know. Just come, it’s important...I need a nurse. _

Himiko takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.  _ I’ll be there. _ He needs a nurse, she will be the best nurse he’s ever had. “Rachel.” She breathes out, clutching the phone to her chest. “He texted me!” 

“What? Weren’t you just lying to your dad?” She groans from her place in Himiko’s lap. 

“I was and then he texted me so I hung up! I have to go over there!”

“Dude! C’mon!”

“You c’mon!” She squeals, shoving her friend over and bouncing up to her feet happily. “I mean don’t actually come with me, but, like, come on! This is great!”

“What happened to me being right? I thought you had learned your lesson, it hasn’t even been a whole day!” 

Himiko lowers herself to her knees, squeezing her roomies hands, looking at her with wide amber eyes. “We fought for a few hours so what! All couples do that, but when you love someone you can’t just give up on them!” Rachel’s eyes wander over her face, her head shaking slightly. Himiko understands, she’s overly emotional and she switches gears so fast that it’s hard for other people to keep up. But she’s in the right gear this time. It’s time to make up with her lover.

* * *

Himiko rubs her hands over the front of her outfit, trying to literally wipe the nerves off of herself. She dressed up for the occasion, a cute little candy striper outfit that she bought for Halloween last year. It seems very fitting considering she  _ is  _ coming here to take care of her ill lover. She also has a little basket full of treats to help his mood, some candy, some glittery unicorn stickers, some holographic band aids, some condoms; basically just everything a good nurse would need for her patient. 

With one final spritz of her champagne apple body spray, Himiko knocks politely on his room door. She can hear movement on the other side before the door is pulled open revealing a red haired boy with a bandana wrapped around his head. This is Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou’s best friend. He looks like a friendly guy, cute face, nice smile, pretty red eyes, but he’s in her way. 

The minute the door opened she tried to walk in because of course she was invited here so why not, but bulky arms and an equally bulky body blocked way much to her surprise. She looked up at him, blinking blankly in confusion, does he think this is the time for games? 

Toga grins slowly, putting on her natural sweet facade. “What are you doing?” She asks in a sing-song voice. 

“Nothing...what are you doing?” He chuckles. 

“I’m here to take care of my baby and you’re kind of in my way so if you could just stand aside that would be great thanks.” She steps to the side to move past him and the redhead follows her, blocking her entryway again. 

“Yeah about that, I was given strict orders not to let you in so I can’t because he’ll kill me.” 

“Liar!!” She accuses, “Kirishima-kun, if you don’t stand aside I’m gonna have to hurt you and I really don’t wanna hurt you...but I will.” 

“Ha, I- there’s no need to be violent. I’m sure we ca-

“Shitty hair, what the fuck are you doing?” Himiko and Kirishima look over at the blonde male that’s just come out of his room. He’s not wearing his splint right now so she can see just how swollen and bruised his ankle is. He obviously needs her. “I thought I told you to let her in when she showed up.”

“Yeah, but you had also just taken your meds so I thought you were just high.” 

“What a rude thing to say about me!” Himiko frowns, shoving her way past the tall boy. She meets Bakugou by his room door, looping her arms around his neck and peppering his cheek with kisses. “Bakugou-kun was probably just grouchy when he said that, he didn’t mean it, right?” 

“Sure.” He nods. “ I’m fine you bastard, I need a nurse and she  _ is  _ a med student after all.” 

“I  _ am  _ a med student after all.” She echoes. 

Kirishima raises his hands in surrender, “yeah yeah okay, my bad guys. I’ll just...let you do whatever.” 

Himiko’s tongue juts out at him in one last act of petty behavior, before she enters Katsuki’s room with him. The door clicking shut behind her is like sweet music to her ears. This is her first time ever in his room. It’s so neat and well put together, very plain looking if she must be honest. A poster of Toshinori Yagi, the famed football player, is literally the only decoration he has on his wall. 

His desk has his laptop set up with a neat stack of textbooks. His closet is closed, not a single piece of clothing strewn across the floor. The only thing out of place is the blankets on his bed because he was laying in it. “It smells just like you in here Bakubaby.” 

“Yeah, course it does, it’s my room.” He agrees as he shuffles past her. He ditches the crutches along the wall and collapses on his back, sighing with exhaustion, lacing his hands behind his head.

She takes a deep inhale in, sucking in the strong essence that is Bakugou Katsuki and grins in satisfaction. She uses her hand to fan her face while she moseys over to him, raising herself up on his bed, crawling over limbs. His legs are so nice. Light blonde hairs, firm and taut calf muscles, deliciously thick thighs. Her eyes traverse up the length of his legs to the bottom of his shorts that cover far too much for her liking. 

“Toga?” Her attention snaps to his face. “Were you listening to me?” 

“Nope! Sorry, what’d you say?” 

He rolls his eyes at her and yanks her down next to him by her elbow. “I said, you were right.” He tells her. “I shouldn’t have said that shit to you, especially when you’ve only been sweet to me this whole time.” 

“Mhmm.” She nods in agreement with him. Oh it’s so good that he’s finally seeing things her way. Ha and here she was thinking that she had done something wrong.

“I was just real pissed about my situation, but I won’t take it out on you anymore.” 

“You promise?” She coos.

“I promise... _ but,  _ there’s something you need to say to me too, right?”

“Yes!” She exclaims. Himiko is quick to mount to him, biting her lip with excitement. She takes a composing breath, clearing her throat. “I, Toga Himiko, apologize for the _rude_ and _inappropriate_ way I behaved earlier today. I should not have kicked your crutches like that, it was so very mean of me and I am so very sorry.” 

“Yeah that’s...one thing.” He shrugs. Himiko wiggles around a little bit, it’s cozy up there. “You..there’s nothing else you wanna apologize for?” He presses. 

She whistles thoughtfully, thinking back over their day today and what else she may need to apologize for but honestly she can’t think of anything. Everything she did today was within reason, save for the crutch kicking. She cradles his cheeks in her hands, leaning down to plant small kisses on his lips. “I..have..no idea...what you’re talking about.” 

The jubilant girl leans down to kiss him again, but he stops her with a palm to the face. “Are you serious? The drink? The fucking food! You fucking humiliated me you du- Himiko you can’t say that shit to me again and you can’t  _ ever  _ disrespect me in front of people like that. Not if you want this to work between us...you want that, yeah?” 

Her eyes flutter, yes, that’s  _ everything  _ she wants. Personally she thinks he deserved the drink and spilled food, but..maybe that was overkill too. She does get ahead of herself a lot. She’s an emotional girl and sometimes her emotions make her do bad things. Like humiliating her precious Katsuki. But he’s willing to forgive her if she just apologizes. So..

“Okay.” She nods. “You’ll love me if I be good?” 

He licks his lips and brings his hands to rest on her bare thighs. “You’re really pretty ya know that? Anyone could fall in love with a good girl, even me.” She’s breathing a lot heavier than normal right now, but she can’t help it. Anyone could fall in love with a good girl, even him.

* * *

Himiko is a better caretaker than he imagined she would be. So far he’s got to her shuttling all his shit between his classes, all over campus. She comes to his room every day to make sure he gets ice on his ankle, giving him gentle massages and cooking him food to eat. Granted the food isn’t that great, but it’s not terrible enough to not eat. 

Sometimes when she comes over she’ll be dressed in that sexy little nurse costume. He’s trained her now to understand that when he requests  _ that  _ costume he’s also requesting her mouth. She gave it up so damn fast, he hardly had to plant the idea in her head. 

Even if her cooking skills are subpar, her head game is quite possibly the best he’s ever had. That wide mouth has no problem fitting his thick girth and her throat is like this fucking abyss that sucks him in so deep. She gags and her eyes water, but she never complains. She moans and giggles, she  _ loves  _ sucking his cock. She seems like she gets off more on the act than he does. 

Kneeling between his legs with her dress pulled up over her ass so he can watch the way she wags when she sucks. All it’s costing him so far is to pretend like he really likes her. It’s not even hard. Just pet her head, give her a few kisses, entertain her bullshit chatter with vaguely positive sounding responses. Of course there was yesterday where she sat on his face after blowing him. It came completely out of nowhere really, one minute she was kissing him and the next minute she was burying laughing and burying his face in her sloppy snatch. 

He’s already realized that Toga is a lot more to handle than most chicks, but it seems like the more he spends with her the more he realizes just how different she really is and just how much he hates it. She lives in this completely different universe where everything is all about her and how to make her happy. The rules don’t apply to her over there and she has no idea how no idea how to separate that world from this one. 

She’s just constantly go go go and he has no idea how to keep up with someone with so much energy. And don’t get him started on what she’s like after drinking espresso and eating sugary sweets. 

He’s trying to find a way to manage her eccentric ways and so far he’s chalked it up to her self confidence. He admires people with confidence but only when it’s handled in moderation. When you have too much you turn into a narcissist and a problem. He has to cut her down to size a bit and he knows the best way to do it. 

Himiko values a lot about herself. Her capability to care, her eagerness to love, her surprisingly bright mind, and her looks. It’s clear in the way she carries herself. Always trying to do her best with her hair, wearing cute outfits that show off her legs, always checking her mascara and shit. Clearly her features mean a lot to her and she’s proud of them, but even every proud person has something they wished they could change about themselves. 

For Toga, that’s her tits. The baggy hoodies and oversized shirts help give it away. He doesn’t have an actual problem with her tits, they’re great. Big and comfy for naps, but if making her feel shitty about them rattles her enough to be a little more controllable then he’ll just have to do it. She probably won’t even be that bothered by it, but it’s worth a try. 

He’s got her over in his room right now, they’re having an ‘adult sleepover’ as she likes to call it. She’s ordered them a hibachi meal, poured some fancy ass wine to glasses, and even dressed up for the occasion. She’s wearing a dark green satin pajama set that shows off so much skin. Her shorts barely cover anything and the spaghetti strap top gives him the perfect opportunity to talk about her weak spot. 

It starts with just a simple comment, an observation, “You wearin’ a strapless push up bra under there or something?” It catches her attention. She smiles at the question, glancing down at her chest and shaking her head. “Guess I just never realized how huge your tits were.” He says with just the slightest bit of ‘bleh’ in his voice and a glimmer of aversion in his eyes. She notices it and her cheeks blush, her smile falters to something awkward and nervous. 

“I mean, that’s a good thing right? That’s what guys like.”

“What guys? Average, low life losers with mommy issues that get off from nursing on their girlfriends tits?” 

“That’s...mean.” She mumbles. Her smile is gone completely and her arms are creeping up onto her shoulders under the guise of scratching some nonexistent itch. “Do you um...do you think there’s something wrong with my boobs?” She won’t meet his eyes as she asks him and it’s a good thing because he’s not sure if his eyes look as sincere as he’s trying to sound. 

“I mean...I don’t like small tits either, but I’ve always been more of a middleman. Easier to fit in the hands, they don’t sag as much when you get older.” 

She inhales sharply, “Did Kiri turn the air on ‘cause it’s kind of cold, can I wear your hoodie?” He has to hold back a smirk as he pulls himself up and limps over to his closet to get his team hoodie for her. This is far too easy, maybe her self confidence wasn’t as high as he thought he was. 

When he turns around though he’s not entirely prepared to see just how fast a tiny remark has caused her to start unraveling. She’s not in a full on breakdown, but her shoulders are trembling and she’s sniffling quietly into her knees. 

Shit. His whole goal was to treat her like shit and to get her to back off of him, but he just figured that instead of crying she would do something like get pissed and start screaming or yelling like she did in the cafe. He didn’t expect her to start crying. Shit. 

“Toga.” He calls out, sighing. “Why...the fuck are you crying for?” 

“I’m not crying.” She snivels, clearly lying. “I just...I think maybe I got teriyaki sauce in my eye.” 

“Really? It just flew right in there, huh?”

“I’m clumsy.” 

“You are,” he agrees, shuffling over to her. He sits down across from her on the floor and places the hoodie at her feet. 

Himiko takes the hoodie, pulling it over her head and wipes her eyes. “I’ve thought about it..about getting like a boob reduction surgery. I mean, they’re not as big as Miki’s, but I just feel like they’re a lot. Apparently they are.” 

Surgery? Jesus fucking Christ that’s a bit extreme. “Maybe I was a little harsh or whatever.” 

“You don’t like my body.”

“I... I like your body. It’s nice, all I was saying was that I like asses more than tits. And you have a pretty great ass.” 

“I still feel bad. I feel...disproportionate. And you said I would get saggy.” Well, this has  _ terribly  _ backfired...but it doesn’t have to be all bad, because even though he feels a little guilty for making her cry it’s not enough for him to back off his plan entirely. She’ll be too focused on her slight flaw to be bouncing off the walls like normal. She’ll be worrying herself over trying to make sure he doesn’t find anything else to shame her about to be as crazy as usual. He can just use this as more set up for his ultimate work of destruction. 

Build her back up, give her a false sense of security. He cradles the back of her head and pulls her in to kiss her forehead. “You’ve got a great bod, Himi. Just ignore me alright? You know I say asshole things at times. Come on, come sit in my lap.”

She crawls into his lap, straddling his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. He rubs her back with gentle circles. “I just worry that I’m not gonna be enough for you.” 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. I said I was sorry alright, stop harping on it.” He brushes her hair back and kisses her neck. 

“Is this how you felt when I brought Akira over and bragged about him? Cause it doesn’t feel good.” He smirks a little and kisses her neck again. 

“Little bit, we’ll call it even, yeah?” 

“I guess.” She shrugs. “Maybe I should clean up this mess...get to bed.” 

“Yeah, maybe you should go back to your room too? I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” She looks at him briefly, but then nods slowly, pulling herself from his arms and standing up to start cleaning up their food and things.

“Do you want me to come get you?”

Bakugou stretches out on the floor watching her. “Nah, early morning soccer practice. Keep the hoodie, looks good on you.” 

“Okay.” He watches her as she finishes cleaning up the mess and then slips her feet into her slippers. She doesn’t look like she's on the verge of crying again so that’s good, but she’s got that pensive look on her face like she’s thinking really hard. “Goodnight Bakugou.” 

So he was cruel and maybe it was more harsh than it should’ve been, but it’s fine. She will get over this and bounce right back. It’ll just make her more dependent on him and when he finally has all her dependency, he’ll humiliate her, dump her, and she’ll never act so stupid over a guy again. In the long run, he’s helping her. She’ll thank him.


	6. The Reason Is You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting, for the first two chapters ‘Dream Girl’ by Anna of the North is a good song to listen to that perfectly describes Himiko’s beginning mindset.

Himiko has been standing in the mirror naked for several minutes now, her hands oddly groping her chest and squinting at it. She’s trying to envision what she would look like with a flatter chest, something….medium sized maybe? Squinting isn’t helping to make them look smaller, just really bleary and that’s not helping her case. She’s tried taping them down already but that just pushes them out more, plus it also feels like she’s suffocating herself and ripping the tape off is painful. 

“What the fuck..are you doing?” Rachel finally asks. Well thank fuck. Her and Miki have just been sitting there watching her the whole time and she’s been waiting for them to speak up so she can start asking for their opinions. 

She spins around to them in her mirror and squeezes her boobs with her hands. “Are my boobs too big for my body? Like do they fit me or should I cut them down?” 

Miki’s eyes widen and she chuckles slowly, “what?” 

“I know it’s crazy sounding to you ms queen of tits, but some of us don’t like our...ample bosoms.” 

“I thought you liked your boobs?” Ray questions, brows furrowed. 

“I liked flaunting them when they could get me things, but well...now I think they’re a nuisance.” She turns back to the mirror. A nice b-cup would probably be enough. Where did these things even come from? Every other woman in her family is flat as a washboard, what the hell happened to her? 

What Bakugou said really stung and hurt her feelings. It made her feel unattractive and ugly, but now she believes he was just trying to look out for her. Maybe he’s noticed how she’s iffy about them and him saying that was just him letting her know that if she did choose to get a reduction surgery then he’d be okay with it. He would like her more that way. Just how far is she willing to go to make herself one hundred and ten percent perfect for him?

“Himi...don’t bite my head off, but does this have anything to do with why you came back last night after you said you were going to spend the night?” 

She doesn’t justify that question with an answer. They can come to their own conclusions, either way they’ll probably just chastise her again. “I’m thinking of probably going down to a b.” She tells them. 

“Oh for fucks sake!” Miki wails. The auburn haired coEd gets up from her spot on the couch marching over to Himiko and spanking her on her bare bottom. Himiko gasps, using her hands to shield herself from the oncoming attack. What is she, a toddler? “Why are you like this?” Miki asks, swatting her. 

“What are you doing you freak?!” She squeals, kicking at her abuser. “Lay off my ass! It’s precious territory and I haven’t consented to this!” 

“Stop acting like an idiot Himiko!” Miki shouts at her. “Look me in my eyes and tell me this isn’t about that fucking prick down the hall!” 

“It’s not!” She lies. 

“It is.” Rachel cuts in. She stands up next and goes to stand by Miki, folding her arms over her chest. “Himiko just a week and a half ago you were acting like your world was ending and like Bakugou was the worst person in the world. Then you were acting like he was the greatest thing in the world and you were back on cloud nine. Now after supposedly having spent the night with your so called ‘boyfriend’ you’re suddenly far more insecure about your chest than you ever have been?”

“Rationality and pattern says that he said or did something fucked up to make you feel this way. It’s sick!”

“It’s abusive and manipulative.” Rachel agrees. “There’s nothing wrong with you, your body proportions are fine. Fuck you’re name in my phone is ‘thic legend’...I mean you put it there but I haven’t changed it so obviously I agree. You’re beautiful, don’t let some sociopathic asshole tear you down like that.” 

She really hates that Rachel is a psychology student. It makes her think she knows everything about people’s thoughts, behaviors, and actions. And most times she does, but this time isn’t one of those times. She and Miki are wrong, plain out wrong. 

Bakugou isn’t a sociopath, he’s not an asshole, and he’s not abusing her. He’s simply trying to find the best way to love her. She’s so sick of this. She’s always building them up and cheering them on in their own relationships and the one, millionth, time she falls in love, true love, they can’t be her fucking friends and support her? 

“I don’t need this.” She huffs, storming off to her room to throw on some clothes. “I don’t fucking need this!” 

She tugs her duffel bag down from her closet and starts shoving things into her bags. “What are you doing now?” Isn’t it obvious?

“I’m leaving! I’ll go stay with my future husband and we’ll just start our life of living in marital bliss early!” 

“You...my fucking god please tell me you hear how insane that sounds?!” Miki scoffs. 

“I’m not insane!” Himiko snaps back. Her hands stop packing and she rises slowly to face her friends. She levels them with a stern and forceful look, clenching her hands by her sides. “I am not insane. I am in love. There is a difference.”

Miki laughs, exasperated. She’s not as used to Himiko’s behavior as Rachel is. She doesn’t live here, doesn’t have to see it on a day to day basis. They’re close but they’re nowhere near as close as the two blondes. “She’s right Miki. She’s not insane. She’s just got daddy issues.” Rachel says with a perfectly straight face, not an ounce of sympathy in her monotone voice. “Her dad never loved her this way and never taught her how to accept love the right way so now she thinks men who try to change her are the perfect ones to fall for. It’s statistics really.” 

Himiko reels back from her words like they’ve just burned her. A statistic? She’s not insane, she’s not a statistic and she doesn’t have daddy problems. If some other girl decided to cut her hair or start working out to impress and please their boyfriend nobody would shit about it. But because she wants to make one small, insignificant change, she has to be a statistic? Fucks sake she never even told them it was about him. 

“Miki you get called by a different name every day because your girlfriend wants to be the only Miki in existence. The shitty boyfriend that you were dating first cared so little about you that he had no problems bringing another girl into your relationship, someone so completely opposite from you and then they both convinced you that it was better for you, for all them. They spend more time with each other than they do you. They’re just phasing you out little by little and you’re either too dumb to see it or too busy trying to convince yourself it’s not happening by trying to make me look like the dumb one.” 

“And you Rachel, your boyfriend is a useless pothead who only comes around for sex and help on his stupid essays. And don’t talk about me having daddy issues when you literally call yours everyday and he never answers! At least mine talks to me! Now if you’ll both excuse me, I have shit to do.” 

They both stand there looking at her. Of course Rachel still looks like she doesn’t care and her ability to be so damn indifferent to everything drives Himiko so far up the damn wall she could scream. If only she could be that way, then maybe she wouldn’t say mean things to her friends out of anger. Miki looks pissed, like she’s ready to hit someone or take to the track to blow off steam so that she doesn’t hit someone. 

She realizes as she starts to pack again that this will...probably cost her. But it feels good to have finally gotten it off her chest. It makes no sense that they lecture her all the time about her views on love and romance when their own relationships are so far from perfect it’s ridiculous. The door slams shut behind her, loud enough to shake her bed. Their RA is gonna wonder about that. Are these tears pricking her eyes? Why is she crying? It’s their fault, they started it. They should be the ones crying, not her. She was only sticking up for herself. She’s not a child, they can’t always treat her like one. 

Himiko zips up her bag and tosses it over her shoulder. She can’t leave without her favorite stuffed bunny, she clutches it in her arms with her as she makes for the doorway passing Rachel up on her way. 

“I still love you.” She hears her say behind her, causing her hand to freeze on the door handle. “Even if you’re mad, even if we’re saying painfully honest shit to each other...I still love you...more than he ever would.” 

She wipes her eyes on her shoulder and scoffs under her breath. She doesn’t say anything back. She didn’t make this bed, she doesn’t have to lie in it. They’ll realize they’re being unjustly cruel to her and then they’ll come around to apologizing. She’ll be waiting. 

  
  
Bakugou isn’t in his room when she arrives and Kirishima and Kaminari fumble around for a solid few minutes before giving her a straight answer. He’s at a meeting with his professor. They don’t know which professor, but they know it’s a professor. His book bag is still in his room, along with all his textbooks and he didn’t take his crutches. That’s a long trip for him to make on a bum ankle. He’s obviously not in a meeting with his professor. 

The two other guys seem reluctant to let her stay there since he’s not in the room at the moment, but Toga’s mind is made up. She’ll stay with Bakugou from now on, at least until it’s safe to go back to her own room. She’ll wait for him to get back before she puts her clothes away. He’s so neat he may have a particular spot that he wants them. For a little while she just lays there on his bed, staring at the his friends in the doorway while they stare at her with nervous ‘what the fuck do we do’ expressions until she decides she’s tired of them staring and slams the door in their faces. Can’t a girl get some privacy? 

She tries to call Bakugou again, but like the last twelve times, he doesn’t answer. His phone is probably on silent or something. Wherever he is. There’s a nagging in the pit of her stomach that keeps telling her ‘he’s with another girl, he’s with another girl’ but she can’t believe that. If that’s true then she would feel so incredibly fucking stupid for the way she just blew up her friendships. But really where else could he be right now? He doesn’t have any friends outside the ones in this room. At least, not any that he would go and hangout with. He’s not at a meeting with his professor without his crutches. His laundry basket is still in the room so he’s not doing laundry and the cafe is closed right now.

“I need a plan.” She tells herself. Camie doesn’t live in this building, but Setsuna does. Fifth floor right? Not a long elevator ride. Toga hops off the bed again and grabs his laundry basket. She’ll need an excuse to tell the boys that are undoubtedly still standing in the sitting room looking stupid. “Be back, gonna do his laundry.” She claims, flashing them a smile. She pauses at the door and turns the lock on the handle to make sure she can get back in on her own and gives Kirishima a stern warning look in case he tries to lock her back out. 

She tucks the laundry basket against her hip and slips into the elevator pressing the fifth floor button. She has never really talked to Tokage before. They don’t get along much after some freshman year party incident. The girl swears up and down Toga purposefully threw a dart at her, but Toga can’t remember this woman being on her radar for anything. She was more than likely drunk and her aim was far off, clearly an accident if it even happened. 

Other than that, Setsuna is one of those popular girls that she never would’ve gotten along with anyways. She’s the captain of the cheer team and the president of the student life administration. The type of person who holds fundraisers and then shames you because no one wants to buy your cookies despite how amazing they are. Toga’s cookies were covered in sprinkles and ‘Love Madness’ quotes, they should’ve been a big hit. Would have been a bit hit if she were a better cook, but dammit at least she did something. Now that she’s thinking about the dart accusation started after that...she probably did throw that dart at her. It was well deserved. 

Setsuna’s room is practically just right off the elevator, she can tell from the stupid and gaudy door tag. She sets the laundry basket down and presses her ear up against the door trying to hear for any signs of infidelity. These damn things are so thick though, Setsuna would have to start screaming literally right this minute if she wanted to hear anything. She pulls back, sets her hands on her hips, and stares at the door. She’s just giving it a minute, trying to see if anything pans out. When she hears nothing she knocks loudly and then waits again for any signs of shuffling feet or hushed and panicked whispering. Nothing! 

The door pulls open just a crack and then wider when Setsuna sees who it is. She snorts, a snooty look on her stupid pretty face. Yeah, Toga definitely threw that dart at her. Her eyes check her appearance, her hair doesn’t look out of place, her skin doesn’t look flushed and the scent of sex isn’t wafting into the hallway off her body. But she is wearing a t- shirt….just a t- shirt. ‘Interesting.’ She hums inquisitively to herself, tapping her lip with her finger. 

She looks over the rest of her body, the nice tone legs from all those silly little cheer workouts. Her hips aren’t very wide, pretty slender like her frame. Her tummy probably has abs in it. Toga doesn’t have abs, she used too, but then she started eating a lot of candy and quit all the athletics. She’s not chubby, but she’s not as little as she used to be, it all just seems to go straight to her thighs. And Tokage’s boobs which are very obvious in her t-shirt. They look like a decently modest size, not as big as hers, but nice enough to get a good handful. And her hair, it’s so pretty and tame, lush with beautiful dark green waves. She has bedroom eyes and-

“What do you want, weirdo?” She questions, tossing her hair over her shoulder. It’s perfect for Toga because now she can see the sides of the girls neck. That’s definitely a hickey. If she were smarter she would’ve kept it covered, or maybe she’s trying to shove off. 

Toga blinks a few times. Tokage is perfect. “Is my boyfriend in there?” She questions. 

“I didn’t know you even had a boyfriend.” She smirks, leaning against the doorframe. “Is this one real or are you still going crazy over fictional characters? Ouh or is Todoroki’s older brother? Heard you were slumming it with dealers now.”

So she hangs out with a guy a few dozen times and now everyone thinks they’re dating. What a shallow high school mindset, it’s like she can’t have guy friends at all. “I’m looking for Katsuki. Is he here?” She asks again. 

“Katsuki? Like Bakugou Katsuki?” Well, no shit. Setsuna starts laughing at her like she’s just told the world’s funniest joke. Toga stares at the laundry basket on the floor awkwardly, this chick is such a bitch, but even her laugh is pretty. What does she sound like laughing? “You know I think this takes stalking to a whole new level. I haven’t seen him...yet, but when he comes I’ll be sure to tell him that his creepy follower is knocking on doors for him now.” 

“I’m not stalking! I’m serious, we’re dating. Can you just answer my damn question so I can go?” 

The other woman clears her throat and covers her mouth with a dainty hand trying to hold back anymore outbursts. “I did.” She snarks. “Tell your boyfriend I said ‘hello’ whenever he gets back to you.” Tokage looks briefly at the laundry by her feet and snorts with laughter again, rolling her eyes and slamming her door shut. Fucking mean girls man. Nobody likes them, but everybody loves them for so damn reason. 

Toga presses her ear up against the door again, just to be sure when she leaves. She’s going to petition for thinner doors in this place.

* * *

_(“Tatsuya..I know you’re upset and it’s my fault. I hurt you. I let things get too out of control between us. I was just thrilled about experiencing something new.”_

_The boy scoffs at her and calls that explanation bullshit. “So that’s it? I was just a shiny new toy to you?” Hina gulps, her lip trembling. That’s not what she meant, she wasn’t ‘using’ him. She really does care about him, but it’s the same old same old, her heart belongs to Katsuma.)_ Goodness no. That sounds like garbage, delete. 

Himiko groans, letting her head fall against the wall. She’s been sitting in the laundry room waiting for his laundry to finish and rewriting this chapter several times. It’s really hard to write when you’re in a funk. She checks her phone again, still no messages from her beau. He doesn’t answer this phone call either and it’s probably the hundredth message she’s left. 

Her chest hurts along with her head. It’s almost like she has a thousand pounds of anxiety weighing on her. She doesn’t like not being able to find him, not being able to talk to him whenever she pleases. She put in the work to win him and now doesn’t want to lose him, but she doesn’t understand why it’s not working like she envisioned. 

Things were going so perfectly up until last night. That one little comment and now his disappearance? It’s obviously something she did or else he wouldn’t have said that and he wouldn’t be gone right now. If he would answer her calls she could ask him and find out so she can avoid that. 

_Dabi: You free tonight?_

She rolls her eyes, she doesn’t have time for this. She’s already told him she’s exclusive now and she’s not open to fooling around with him anymore. _Busy_

_Dabi: Fine, tomorrow night. I’ll come by Gemini, got a package for you._ A package? Like...a pill package? Didn’t this skinny idiot learn his lesson last time? 

_Dabi, I fucked up last time and it cost me heavy. I’m not doing it again. And you’re an ass. You haven’t spoken to me in how long and now you want me to push drugs for you?_

_Dabi: Yeah yeah, we’ll talk about it tomorrow_

The door to the laundry room opens and her head turns quickly. Oh finally. Bakugou strolls in on his crutches, some piece of paper in his mouth. He spits the paper out on top of another dryer, it looks like a doctor’s note. The doctor's office….without his crutches beforehand? “Shitty hair told me you’re doing my laundry?” 

“Where were you?” She asks. “Kiri and Denki said you were in a meeting with your professor...that’s a doctor’s note.” Himiko’s eyes narrow into angry slits. Is he trying to pull one over her? Does he think she’s really that stupid?

“Yeah so obviously I was at the fucking doctor’s.” 

“You didn’t have your crutches.” She growls. 

“I don't fucking need them...at least I act like I don’t. They reamed me out over it if it makes you feel better.” It doesn’t. She’s not buying that. She pushes herself off the dryer and grabs the front of his shirt, sniffing him. He shrugs her off, pushing her away. “The fuck are you doing?” 

“Why do you smell like another girl?”

“It’s a female doctor, stupid! What, you wanna smell my dick next?”

“Whip it out, maybe!” She shouts back, shoving him. Toga’s hands grab at the collar of his shirt and yank, tearing the fabric. His crutches clatter to the ground when he lets go of them in favor of grabbing her wrists to pull her off of him. It’s not his arms with injuries, just his ankle and that’s not enough to make him weaker than her by any means. He overpowers her easily, wrestling her hands down by her side and shoving her up against the dryer. She squirms around in his grasp, sniveling while she cries. 

When she was little and crying and her father was trying to wrangle her she would just go slack in his grasp. She always heard that playing possum was the best way to avoid death and it’s not death, but being controlled is annoying. Whenever she played possum he would just get exhausted with her antics and give up. So she resorts to her old ways and slumps like dead weight in Katsuki’s hands. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He hisses at her. 

“Sad.” She murmurs, sniffling. “You cheated on me.” 

“Cheated?” He sighs and let’s her slump completely down to the floor. Bakugou lowers himself down to the floor next, massaging his ankle a little. “Toga...I was at the doctor’s okay? I didn’t take my crutches because I was trying to prove something... I fucked up and probably earned myself another week on these, but I didn’t cheat on you?”

“But Setsuna said-“

“Setsuna’s a fucking asshole, she just said that to piss you off….why did you even talk to her? Are you checking on me now?”

Well she wouldn’t have to if he didn’t make her feel insecure about. If he had just been in his room then she wouldn’t have had to check on him...and they wouldn’t have had this fight. She pulls her legs up to her chest and wraps her legs around them. “I moved into your room.” She mumbles into her knees. “Rachel and Miki were being mean to me, they made me feel stupid so I moved out.” 

“You...you moved into my room? What, you couldn’t just change dorms?” 

“I did.” She looks over at him, pouting. “I changed into your dorm.” Bakugou scoffs, dragging a hand through his hair. “I left for you...they were being mean to me because of you.” She tells him. 

He doesn’t say anything, he’s probably not going to say anything. She’s already made an ass of herself to her friends and if she goes running back now she’ll look like an even bigger idiot. The dryer beeps behind her signaling that his clothes are done. She crawls onto her knees and reaches up for his basket to start unloading his clothes. She slaps his note on top of the pile of warm clothes and waits for him to gather his bearings and get up so they could go to his room where he’ll inevitably make her pack and leave. 

When they make it back to his room she sets the basket down next to his dresser. She watches him quietly as he strips off the ruined shirt, tossing it in the garbage. His shoes and pants come off next and he sits on his bed examining his swollen ankle. Toga leaves to go grab an ice pack for him. She props his ankle up on a pillow and gently sets the ice up there for him. “What’d they say to you?” He questions. “About me.” 

“That you’re abusive and mean.” She whispers. “I don’t think you’re abusive. And I already knew you were mean already, sometimes you can just be a nasty person. But I just..I thought you would just learn to be nicer to me, I thought I could teach you to be nicer to me because…”

“Because..?” He pushes. 

“Because I thought I could teach you to love me..by being a good girl like you said. And because I’m a considerably good person. But then I messed up, I don’t know what I did, but you’re obviously upset with me.” 

“Yeah well you thought I slept with Setsuna too. You were wrong about that.”

“Then why’d you say that mean thing about me last night and why are your vibes so shitty right now?” 

“Are you still on about that?” He frowns. “It was a joke, let it go. And I’m just frustrated right now that you’re questioning my flings about me and lastly, you..you can’t teach someone how to love you. If they love you then they just love you and if they don’t then they don’t.” 

“Everything is learned, Bakugou.” Himiko looks around the room, searching for something, his soccer ball. It’s under his desk. She hops up, grabbing it and tossing it around lightly in her hands. “The first time you played soccer? You didn’t just like it right? You learned to love it. Your first girlfriend, she was probably really cute and you liked her a lot, but you didn’t love her. You had to learn about her, learn the things you love about her, right?” 

Bakugou raises a skeptical eyebrow to her silently asking what her point is. Her point is that she’s right. She’s been right since day one about them and she can continue to be right. These things just take time, that’s all. Why does that seem like such a far fetched idea to everyone? Why does someone falling in love with her seem like such a far fetched idea? 

He’s going to get sick of her crying all the time, he’s gonna get sick of all her whining and complaining. This is just not a good day for her energy wise. “If I let you stay will you stop crying?” She nods. 

She agrees. “I won't be annoying and I’ll make sure I clean up after myself. It won’t be forever I guess, probably just until the end of the semester.” She’ll be happier if she gets to stay. She’ll be close to him at all times, he won’t be able to worry her by running off. The more time he spends around her, the more he’ll get used to her, to her body. She has no idea how many chances she has left with this guy, but this could very well be her last one and she just really needs to make this work. To prove everyone wrong. She’s not crazy, insane. She’s not some statistic with daddy issues. She’s a normal, pretty girl that deserves to be happy...that’s all.

* * *

“So...can I ask you what you’re actually doing with her?” Kirishima whispers as he and Bakugou peek into his bedroom, watching her sleep soundly on his bed. 

“Well...she claimed she wanted to be my bitch so..I’m letting her be my bitch.” 

“Dude. That’s harsh.” Kaminari comments. Bakugou looks back over his shoulder to tell him to fuck off. The fucking idiot is rolling joints on his damn table again, he always leaves such a mess. “I’m just saying she seems like an okay girl. Kind of whacky, but like I said, I’d be with her if you don’t wanna be.” 

“Wrong, you said you’d do her. Just doing her and putting up with her on the daily is different.” He scoffs. 

Kirishima pulls the door shut quietly and they walk into the sitting room, Bakugou crashing into the couch next to the other blonde. The redhead remains standing pacing slowly back and forth. “Bro... I don’t understand.” He confesses. 

Kaminari offers Bakugou a hit, normally he would decline because he has to stay in healthy for soccer, but he can’t play anyways so why not? Besides, Himiko has just shaken up his world again by moving into his room so why not get high? “Don’t understand what?” 

“You.” He blurts. “I mean jeez c’mon Bakugou, so she has a really big crush on you. Is that any reason to treat her like dirt? I didn’t feel good lying to her for you earlier today.” 

“Neither did I for the record.” Denki adds, coughing up smoke. 

“I don’t recall asking either of you to? If anything you made it worse. She freaked the fuck out, tore my shirt open, wanted to smell my dick. It was weird, she’s weird.” 

“No she’s paranoid because...well you’re cheating on her!”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? I haven’t slept with anyone. I was at a doctor’s appointment.” 

“Lying isn’t manly dude.” 

“Tch, well that’s great, because I’m not lying.” He spits, rolling his eyes. Okay he’s always known Kirishima is big on, like, morals and shit but could he roll off his fucking back a little bit? His personal life is his business and nobody else’s. “If you two assholes care about her so much, then take her if you think you can. Until then, as far I’m concerned she’s still mine to play with.” 

“But just why? Like what is the honest to fuck reason why you hate her so much? She cooks for you, she cleans for you, she babies you, I’ve walked in on her giving you one of those blowjobs you seem to enjoy so much. Katsuki, she’s a good person to you, she just wants you to be nice and like her..why is that so hard for you?” 

Why? Because of something he’ll never admit to his friends, ever. He’s already in love with someone else. Allow him to take you back on a trip down memory lane. Picture, freshman year high school when that anger of his was still at an all time high. After one school fight too many he finally had to pay for his behavior and he paid in 150 community service hours. 

That’s where he met her, a fellow high school hard head that got pinched for illegal use and possession of marijuana. He didn’t give a shit about her at first, she was just someone to hang out with and talk to while he had to finish up all his hours. But the more he hung out with the more her weird ass phrases and euphemisms stuck to him, the more her beauty struck him, and the more he wanted to be around her. 

He just thought it was puppy love, wanting to be around her all the time. Getting jealous when she hooked up with someone that wasn’t him. Thinking about her all the time. He’d never felt that way about anyone and at that time no one else really thought he was worth pursuing anyways. Too much of an angry douche or some bullshit like that. 

Anyways, this girl was different. She didn’t like how angry he was all the time, but she put up with it and he had no problem making it easier for her by taming himself a little bit more. He gave his virginity to that girl, bought her nice shit, took her out on dates, called her every night. He really wanted her to be his girlfriend. He would have taken so much care of her. But she didn’t want him. 

She wanted stupid fucking Todoroki. He should’ve never taken her to that party, but he did and that was ultimately his undoing. Todoroki was hot, mysterious, and emotionally unavailable which apparently makes him the entire fucking package for the one girl he wanted. He probably could have had a real shot with her if Todoroki had just ...never existed. But now that she knows about him, he’s all she wants. Even if he made it clear that he was never interested in her and even though he has a girlfriend now. 

He had the perfect opportunity to let her go and move on with his life, but she’s in fucking college with him now. It’s hard to cut someone out of your life when you see them everyday, sit next to them in classes, live just one floor above them. He’s got seven years under his belt with this girl, seven long lust and love filled years and that’s really hard to just forget. 

Now back to the present where he’s still simping hard for her, like some fucking nerd. That’s it, that’s why he’s so hateful towards Himiko. Why should she get to have a perfect little love fantasy when the girl he loves doesn’t love him back? Her love is in the way of his love and he doesn’t want someone like her. Someone who cries all the time, someone who’s desperate to please and too stupid to realize when she’s in a bad spot. Someone who can’t tell that the person she loves will never love her back….”oh fuck.” He exhales, dragging his hands through his hair. Is this him? Is this him he’s screwing over? Is he fucking mad at himself? Or does this give him another reason to be mad at her for making him feel that way about himself? Like he’s the idiot for lusting after someone who doesn’t want him? 

Kirishima is still talking to him, but he’s on his own mission now, a new mission. He hobbles up and starts for the doorway, but then stops and remembers his stupid crutches. They’re in the room with Himiko though so he’s gotta be very quiet. It’s a good thing she’s a heavy sleeper, just laying there in his bed, snoring away with her damn face mask on like this is some luxury getaway for her. 

“I’ll be back.” He tells his friends as he starts leaving the room.

“Where the hell are you going?” He’s going to talk to his girl, his real girl and see if he can find some silver lining to this. He just has to make sure he’s not as crazy as the chick upstairs in his room. 

It’s late, but he knows she’s not sleeping. She always crashes at 4, no earlier. “Open up!” He shouts, banging on her door. The doorknob turns and the door opens slowly, revealing her in dim lighting. Light brown hair a mess, pretty doe eyes rimmed red from her irresponsible sleep cycle, a thin smile on her lips. 

“Hey, Bakubae, ‘sup fam?” 

“Camie. We need to talk.” He grunts at her. “I need you to tell me right now is there any possible chance of us...of this just not being some stupid fuck buddy situation?” 

She gasps quietly and then chuckles nervously, brushing some of her hair behind her ears. “Fam, is this about earlier today?” Before you say anything, he didn’t lie about his activities earlier today, not completely. He hung out with Camie before his doctor’s appointment, they didn’t sleep together..like there was no penis to vagina penetration because he had other shit to do today. Also, everyone assumed he was with Tokage and he wasn’t. 

“It’s about the last seven fucking years of my life and whether or not you’re ready to let go of some obtuse asshole that is never gonna be with you.”

“Wow...it’s the repetitive conversations for me bro.” She sighs.

“Would you speak like a regular person please?” He pleads. Her and this damn fad talk, it’s ridiculous. He rolls his shoulders and shifts his weight around on the crutches. “Look at least just tell me why. We’ve been doing this for almost ten years and nothing has ever changed...why?” 

Camie groans softly and links her hands behind her back. “It’s not you Katsuki. I love you...as a friend. I think you’re a great guy and you lay great pipe, but…”

“But you want someone who’s in a relationship?”

“You are in a relationship!” She laughs. “And no this ain’t about Todo boy. Did you ever think that maybe I have other tastes too? I can’t explain it to you without sounding like a bitch, but I just..you and I are better off as we are.” As they are. So..she can screw him, take his money, accept his gifts, and go on dates with him, but she can’t accept an actual title as his girlfriend? What the actual fuck? 

“Oh fuck you Utsushimi.” God he hates these crutches, they don’t help for making proper angry getaways. “You know what actually I won’t fuck you anymore!”

“Really bro?!” 

“I’m not a fucking toy Camie,” he shouts over his shoulder. He realizes the irony in him saying this, doesn’t really care though because somehow they’re still different. He did a lot of shit for that ungrateful bitch who he will never speak to again and Toga hasn’t done shit for him to deserve him. This whole situation just makes him angrier, if that’s even possible. Misery loves company and he’s miserable right now, so he’ll use Toga as his company. He’ll just take from her everything Camie took from him until he feels like he’s gotten back everything he deserves...and then he’ll be done with her. Then he’ll be fine again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will hopefully have a new update either extremely late tonight or sometime tomorrow afternoon. Please feel free to comment or kudos. Thank you for reading.


	7. Calling All Capers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...didn’t even proofread this y’all, I’m sorry, I just really wanted to get it up before I postponed it for any longer. Ahh let’s see, drug talk in here, Himiko is all over the place emotionally and mentally, Bakugou is still being a dick, ya know, nothing really new. Oh and smut.

It kind of feels like Himiko’s life is in a continuous downward spiral right now and she hates it. Miki isn’t speaking to her, which she understands, but it still stings. Rachel is speaking to her, but she’s acting so apathetic about what happened that it makes Himiko not want to talk to her. Rachel should be just as mad as Miki is, not pretending like it doesn’t bother her. And if it really doesn’t bother her then what is that saying about their friendship? Did she ever really care at all? Were the last two years they spent just fake? 

Don’t get her started on Katsuki’s attitude. He woke up in such a shitty way this morning and has been going like that all day. It’s not even worth addressing at this point. She figures there’s no reason for her to take it personally and get all worked up over, he’s just having a rough time and it’ll pass, but if they both get pissy about it then it’s not helping anyone. 

And now she’s just left with the shit day she’s having at work. Remember Ramona? _Fucking_ Ramona! Apparently she’s pregnant, four months and just decided to tell everyone. Himiko would congratulate her except for the fact that she doesn’t like her and she knows that Ramona is mainly bringing it up to explain away all the oncoming shitty behavior and work ethic. Like last night for example, worst close Himiko has ever heard about. Nothing was cleaned, trash was left in the building, expired roast still on the burner -which was left on! “Pregnancy brain” was her excuse. 

She’s a med student, she knows that it’s a real thing, but had she been running her shift properly it would have been handled. Seriously how do you walk past all that shit and not notice? It took the morning shift forever to just barely recover from it and mid shift was slammed as well so now it’s all fallen on her shoulders. Wouldn’t it just be awesome if she also had a capable team to help her handle all this? Yeah, it would be, but she doesn’t have one. 

Lily is closing with her again along with the new girl, it’s her first close. She is _stressed_. She came in early to get a head start on her night so that she wasn’t too far behind on her close; making prep for the next few days, cleaning the ovens and bars, the stupid restrooms. Even though Miki isn’t speaking to her, she still didn’t screw her over on the shift side of things and stayed behind to do the counts for her so she had one less thing on her plate. If they weren’t being petty right now she would have kissed her, but kisses are for good friends and they’re not good friends at the moment. 

They close at 9 and come 8:45 she has somehow managed to catch up. She’s exhausted and holy fuck she can’t wait to crawl into bed and sleep. “Hey Chase, we’re in the last 15 minutes, only card purchases from here on out so I can count your till okay?” She informs her while checking her phone. Bakugou is hungry and would like food. So much for going straight home. 

“Yeah, okay.” The girl replies. Himiko collects the tills and hauls them all to the back where Lily is working on the end of night dishes. 

Counting the money is usually always one of the easiest things to do at the end of the night. Just put the money and change buckets on the cash counter twice, check it to the computer, par them at two hundy and go on about her business. The only till she knew needed counting was Chase’s since she did the other three earlier and left two of them in the safe, but she can tell just by looking at them that something is very wrong here. 

She always leaves her finished tills with all the bills face down and the one she put back in the drawer earlier is face up and going in different directions. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” She whispers. Toga pulls up the charge reports for Chase’s till and starts counting, it’s over by a lot and the other till is drastically fucking short...almost as if someone was taking money out of it and trying to replace it in the other till. 

“Hey Lily could come back here?!” She shouts over her shoulder. This isn’t what she needs right now, but she has a terrible feeling their new hire is a thief. 

“You called?” The girl questions. Himiko points to a seat across from her and Lily sits as instructed. “What’s up?” 

“I’m just gonna be blunt about it, did you see Chase take any money out of the till today?” 

Of course Lily’s response is dramatic, she can never just answer a question flat out and leave it at that. Eventually she gets to the point of it, she definitely didn’t see Chase take any money out of the till. Doesn’t mean anything, she could just be good about being sneaky. Plus, she still has the cameras to watch. “It’s 9...I’ll finish closing by myself, you and Chase can go and don’t say a _single thing_ to her about this conversation or you’re getting written up.” 

“You sure? About the closing alone I mean, I don’t mind staying to help.”

“No it’s fine. I’d really rather just do it myself, but thank you for offering and your help already.” 

“Okay well...goodnight, I’ll let Chase know we’re leaving.” Himiko nods and stuffs her tills under the desk so she can lock up after the girls leave. Dabi is outside the building when she gets there, she completely forgot that he told her he was coming. She tries to shoo him away mainly because it would look bad if she lets in some random thuggish looking guy after close and in front of the girls and also because she really doesn’t want to be a mule anymore. It was fun the first time, but once is enough. 

“We needa talk, Toga.” He tells her, standing in the doorframe like an obnoxious prick. “I’ll wait, I got time tonight.”

“Oh now you have time but you didn’t time last month?” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Please move, the longer you stand here the longer it’s gonna take me to close.” 

“Oh of course princess, go do your little thing, I’ll be waiting.” The raven smirks and winks at her and Himiko growls under her breath. Why did she think he was cool before? 

_Hey babe, dinner is probably gonna be late tonight, one of my cashier’s may be stealing so I’ve gotta figure that out. I can pick you something up on my way home._

_Bakubaby: You’re not gettin’ in my room after 12_

_Don’t be such a little shit, I won’t disturb your sleep, promise :*_

_Yo Gwen, I parred all the tills tonight except for Chase’s and when I went to do it I noticed the money between her till and one of the finished ones was off. I already checked the cameras and confirmed she’s been pocketing cash and tips. May wanna check her other shifts out. I fixed it, but it cost us in the deposit._

It takes an hour before she’s finally able to leave the store, 10:30, less than two hours to get home before Bakugou throws a fit about his beauty sleep being ruined. He’s already so pretty, how much extra sleep could he need?

Dabi is surprisingly still waiting for her out there, he must really need her help or want something from her. She makes it very clear she is not fooling around with him and she has no intentions of getting into any illegal activities. “Matter of fact, I have food to pick up and a dorm room to get back to.” 

“How would you like to score a grand in one night?” 

Her head cants, 1,000 sheets in one night? That sounds like a lot of money, it is a lot of money and she always likes getting money. Her ears are open, but she’s still skeptical. Dabi just loves having his arm around her neck, she’s pretty sure it’s because it’d make it easier for him to choke her out if he needed. 

He walks her over to this busted up black van parked across the street and her eyes go wide. Oh god, this is where he kills her for fucking up last time, how is he still not over that?! 

“Please don’t kill me! I’m too pretty to die!” She squeals, digging her heels into the ground. 

“Why do you always think I’m tryna’ kill you? Just relax, it’s my partner’s ride.” 

“Like...girlfriend?”

“Like a guy I do business with.” He tells her. He lets go of her and pulls open the back doors to the van. A large cloud of smoke emerges from the vehicle and Himiko coughs her way through it, fanning her air space. 

There’s three men in this van and none of them look like someone she wants to be around for a fairly long time. The guy in the front seat, leaning over the console has long bright pink hair, something she may be able to get behind and pink eyes too, so pretty. This one is called Spinner, he likes lizards according to the various repitilian tattoos she can see on his arms. 

The guy in the black hoodie and jeans has light blue grayish hair that looks like it hasn’t been washed in weeks and good lord has he ever heard of lotion and chapstick? The way he’s scratching at his neck makes her think he’s just a few scratches shy from tearing into the skin and striking blood. It wouldn’t be horrible because you know how much she likes blood, and she could patch him up easily. He has pretty eyes too, like pools of blood, not as pretty as her Katsuki’s though. Dabi calls this guy dick face, but his name is Shigaraki Tomura. Shiggy sounds like a wonderful nickname, like some kind of new dance that hasn’t been invented yet, she’ll work on a little jig later.

The last guy isn’t as creepy looking, he’s dressed up all fancy like a pimp kind of. Nice black dress slacks, orange button up and a black top vest. He even has a cane with him, truly a classy pimp. She’s instructed to just call him Compress, no explanation given, but she thinks it has something to do with his missing arm. 

“This is my crew, the League.” Dabi tells her, pulling her inside the van. 

“It’s _my_ crew, idiot.” Shiggy grumbles. “This the chick you had me wait an hour for?”

“Hi,” she smiles, waving politely, “Toga Himiko, I go to school with Dabi.” 

Shiggy’s dull eyes narrow at her, and he cocks his head towards Dabi. “The _fucking idiot_ that lost the drugs?” 

“Relax would you? She had a little slip up, no big deal. I’m telling you, she’s great company.” 

“Company for _what_ exactly?” She questions. Nothing has been explained to her yet and though she’s found something in each of them that she likes so far, she’s still not sure that this is the best place for her to be, especially so late at night. 

Dabi smirks at her with a mischievous glint in his eye. He gets up and squats over next to Shiggy, pulling a suitcase out from the seat. She always knew he moved weed and pills like nobodies business, but what she’s seeing in the case looks like cocaine and heroin and that’s just something she can’t afford to be apart of. 

If she gets caught she would be whatever is worse than dead. She could get kicked out of school, disowned by her parents, Bakugou would dump her in a fucking heartbeat. _Jail!_ She could go to jail! She’s too pretty to be in prison! And far too young, her twenties are barely getting started and she doesn’t want to blow them and the rest of her life locked behind bars. 

“No no, you don’t get it. The job isn’t optional.” Dabi shrugs. “You’re indebted to us, me specifically so..this is your life now.” 

“ _Indebted?_ How the fuck am I indebted?! I paid you!” 

Compress chuckles next to her shaking his head. He pats her on the back with a pimp gloved hand and she frowns at him in confusion. “Dear..did you really think 300 measly sheets would cover the cost of what you lost?” 

“Let’s face it, if I asked you for the full 1500 you would’ve never paid and then things would’ve gotten ugly, so I cut you some slack. I was just gonna have you blow me as repayment for the rest but you’re the one who swears you’re in a committed relationship or whatever the fuck that means. So now you have to work it off another way.”

“1500? For one pack of pills?” 

“It’s called interest. I charge by the day.” He grins. 

Oh fucking hell, absolute fucking hell. This has got to be some kind of sick joke. This is why smart peole never go into business with drug dealers, because there’s always some kind of catch. It looks fun at first, but then you get deeper in and you realize it’s not as fun as you thought. 

She doesn’t even bother asking what will happen if she says no. Shiggy looks like he would rather just shoot in the face right now anyways so she has no doubts that if she tries not to participate that he will...dispose of her. “What am I getting paid for then?” 

“You’re not, I just said that so I didn’t have to drag your ass in the van.” Well isn’t that just shitty. She could’ve used that extra money, Bakugou’s birthday is next month...she would have loved to buy him something really nice. Fucking Dabi.

* * *

Toga’s job with the League consists of drug runs and also supplying them with on demand jars of her pee so they can pass piss tests since there’s no way they’d ever pass them on their own. Apparently Dabi’s father drug tests him on a regular basis because he doesn’t trust him, rightfully so. Shiggy is on parole and Spinner’s job tests. Compress is the only one who doesn’t need her pee because he doesn’t use their product like a good smart pimp. Or do all pimps use their drugs? They all sleep with their hookers right? It’s basically like the same thing just without the genitals and stuff. Either way, only the young dudes need her urine. Gosh that’s so weird, how is she supposed to explain peeing in jars to whoever she’ll be living with when that starts? Granted, Ray probably wouldn’t ask questions to avoid the headache, but Bakugou would probably definitely be disgusted.

Tonight she’s just doing footwork with them so she doesn’t have to think about that right now. The dynamic is that Spinner stays in the van on lookout for any cops, Shiggy sits on his ass and complains about how much he hates Dabi, how long this shit takes, and about how he’d rather be at a bar drinking or playing video games. Compress is in charge of the money and she and Dabi are the runners and collectors. He muscles and scares and she...well right now she’s chasing down some scrawny kid that tried stiffing them. 

Thank fuck for gymnastics because without it she would be flat on her face from jumping these fences. At first she was strongly against this whole thing, but there’s something exhilarating about chasing someone around with a purpose. She feels like a cheetah stalking her prey and she won’t kill him, but she will maul him and take his money. It feels like a good stress release for the shitty last two days of her life. She’s not even chasing a crappy druggie anymore, she’s chasing everything she’s ever wanted. Friends who support her in everything she does, a boyfriend that realizes she’s a golden egg and never complains about her, a father who accepts her quirks and all. 

_‘I will have that, all of it.’_ She thinks as she lunges forward, pouncing on her target. She cages him in with her thighs and wraps her arm around his throat, like Dabi’s always doing to her. He’s so pissed, squirming and jostling around like an animal caught in a snare trap. Toga laughs, his fighting just makes this all the more fun. 

Where is Dabi even at? This bull is stronger than her and she’s clinging, but he’s a wild one. The bull hooks his arms around her legs and they go tumbling backwards, feels like she landed on a rock or something and she’s definitely gonna have a bruise tomorrow. She has been called a clinger before so she clings as tight as she can. Her initiative to fight halts when she feels his teeth sinking into her arm. What the fuck, what kind of dude bites in a fight?

She yelps and rips her arm away, pulling her sleeve up to check for the damage done. Her target slips away from her legs and takes off down the street, but he collides with Dabi’s fist and goes right back down. Well it’s about damn time he showed up. “The fuck have you been?” She hisses, rubbing the bruised skin. 

He shrugs and lights up a joint, taking a long drag and exhaling fancy circles. Show off. “Didn’t see the need to rush, seemed like ya had it handled...right up until he bit you. Gonna have to get tougher than that princess.” 

“I chased him for like 10 blocks!” She shouts, pushing herself off the ground and brushing her jeans off. Dabi leans over and starts confiscating their perps wallet, pocketing whatever cash he finds in it. Not a lot in there. “What happens if they can’t pay up in full?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.” Heard. 

“Fine.” She sighs. Dabi plants his boot on the head of the fallen man and pulls his phone out, probably shooting a text to Spinner to come and get them. “How many more of these are we doing?” She asks. “Am I gonna have to chase anyone else tonight?” 

“Nah, this is our last collection, just gotta do drops. Spinner will be here to pick us up.” 

Good, it looks crazy suspicious just the two of them standing out here with his foot on some guys head. “Why do y’all do all this in one night?” She asks as she walks over to join him. She puts her foot on the guys chest so that she doesn’t feel awkward being the only one with both feet on the ground. 

“We don’t usually. Dick head just got out of prison, again, and even though I hate that prick, Spinner and I somehow work better together when he’s in the middle. Plus I had school and shit. Consider this making up for lost time. The boys are back in business.” 

Spinner pulls up with the van and Shiggy throws the doors open. She is continuously surprised by the strength Dabi happens to have. She watches him lift this dud up and toss him in casually, like a lightweight bag of garbage. So scrawny, yet so powerful. 

He helps her into the van, “try not to drive like a fucking lunatic this time asshole.” He tells Spinner. “I get motion sick.”

“Is that why you don’t run? Ya get nauseous? They have pills for that.” 

“Keep it to yourself med school.” Rude. 

  
She spends the rest of her night riding around with them, listening to them banter and selling drugs on various street corners and people’s living rooms with Dabi. It’s not as shitty as she thought it would be. She doesn’t appreciate being eye fucked by some of their sketchier customers, but she likes how the thrill of getting caught makes her feel. That rush of adrenaline you get when you’re doing something wrong and dangerous feels amazing. There’s less work for her to do during actual sells, just count quick and hand it over.

She also appreciates how comfortable they’re making her feel so quickly. Compress is really the only friendly-friendly one, but Dabi is Dabi and the other two aren’t terrible...Spinner isn’t terrible. It will just take more time for Shiggy to warm up to her. Maybe after he receives the care package full of skin moisturizer she’s going to make him. These hours that she’s spent with them have been the most fun she’s had in a while. She isn’t even thinking about how late it is and how she’s probably going to be locked out of Bakugou’s room. 

Spinner isn’t about to drive them back to campus so he dumps them in front of Gemini so they can catch a bus back in the wee early hours of the morning. She has no clue where they go from this, but she’s pretty hungry so they decide to hit up some 24 hour burger joint. There’s just something about fries and shakes at 1 in the morning that makes her giddy. 

Dabi thinks she did good tonight on her little test run and they next time they meet up he promises to teach her the technical business work. Divvying, measuring, weighing, all that jazz. Really she just wants to attack more people in the streets, running has never been more fun. 

She never expected to be hanging out with him like this. Fully dressed, not so shit faced, and actually out in public like normal friends do, but this is nice too. She feels like they’re actually bonding to bond instead of whatever the hell they were doing otherwise. Since this seems like a golden opportunity to better get to know him, she decides to delve into his family and personal life a bit. 

The only thing she’s ever known about him is that he is the oldest brother to Shouto, he’s a communications major, and he does tattoos. She wants to know more, but to get something from someone you have to give something. So she tells him about her family, oldest of three girls- all genes come from her mother, her father contributed nothing in the look factor. Her mother is a nervous saint who flushes and cringes at words like ‘heck’ and prefers to spend her time pretending like her family is just as saintly as she is. Her middle sister is a cunt, just fucking awful. Tsukimi has basically spent her whole life competing with Himiko and lecturing her for not being that perfect angel that their father wanted. 

She likes to fight over everything even if it’s none of her business. “She harps over me as if _she’s_ my mother.” She’s basically taken after their father, nothing Himiko ever does will be good enough for her. Koemi, her baby sister, is completely different. She idolizes Himiko. Wants to follow in her foot steps through and through. Himi did gymnastics so Emi did gymnastics, she even took it a step further and did cheerleading too. Himi mastered an instrument so Emi wanted to be versed in the musical talents, she does opera, what a range. Ballet was a little too boring for her, but Himiko understands that all too well. 

“Now my daddy, that man, whew!” He’s a good man, bless his soul. But he’s just so very set in his ways, quite old school. He still believes she’s a virgin and will stay that way until marriage. He has no idea that she has a propensity to hookup with girls just as much as guys. He thinks she’s going to be a neurosurgeon or something and not just a simple nurse. His expectations for her are incredibly high and he pushes her too hard, makes the whole aspect of even wanting to make him proud just seem pointless. 

“You think you have daddy issues?” Dabi mumbles, playing around with the beer bottle in his hands. “I failed my seventh grade year because I couldn’t go to school like I was supposed to. Constantly sick, not enough sleep to focus, too many unexplainable bruises.” 

If she had known that Dabi’s dead was an abuser beforehand she probably wouldn’t have complained so hard about her own dad wanting her to reach her potential so much. Just makes the whole thing awkward, feels like she shoved her foot in her mouth. 

He never understood why his father hated him so much. He was born normal-ish. Moderately healthy kid, never complained about anything, never asked for too much. He was really small, weak bodily constitution but he never felt like he raised hell about it. It didn’t stress his family out with overly expensive hospital bills and frequent doctors visits, it just meant that he was too fragile to do all the things his dad wanted. “I guess maybe that was it. Natsuo did football, twerp plays soccer, Fuyumi’s a chick so he had no expectations for her. But as a guy, I was just expected to grow up being some kind of strong legend.” 

“Did you even wanna do that?” 

“Fuck no.” He laughs. “Fuckin’ hate sports. I don’t get the goddamn point of running up and down a field, kicking balls around for fun? No thanks. No I..I wanted to be an artist, obviously. Hence the career in tattoos.” 

“You’re really good at it. I don’t really understand the concept of your tattoos to be entirely honest, but they somehow work for you.” She tells him. She has never tried to put too much thought into the way his ink works. There’s just so much of it and it’s not like there’s a particular design to it. Just deep purple ink on most of his face, his chest, back, arms and even his legs. The piercings he’s done make it all look like patchwork skin that’s gruesome yet somehow strangely attractive. 

“It’s apart of the brutal black project except I like purple more. Hurt like a fucking bitch and took _years_ to do.” 

“Why though? No offense or anything because you’re still handsome, but I feel like you were probably more handsome beforehand.” 

He smirks at her, winking one of the turquoise eyes. “You flirtin’ with me princess?” He asks, nudging her arm with his elbow. 

“Just saying.” She giggles. 

“I looked too much like my shit hole father. Didn’t wanna look like him anymore. I dyed my hair and that wasn’t enough so I went for the extreme.” The extremist of extremes. “You ever gonna tell me who this little boyfriend of yours is supposed to be?” 

Her cheeks burn, and her teeth sink into the soft plush of her lips. “Bakugou Katsuki.” 

Dabi looks surprised to hear it, but not entirely scandalized. “That’s the pissy blonde kid on the twerps team right?” 

“That’s my baby!” She chirps with excitement. “He’s so cute isn’t he?”

“You two kind of look like siblings. It isn’t weird fucking each other?” 

Siblings? She’s never thought about this. They’re both blonde but a lot of couples are. Other than that they have no relatable similarities. No, impossible, and she’s not going to give it anymore thought before she starts finding more similarities and weirds herself out. “We actually haven’t had sex yet, I mean we’ve done oral, but he won’t pound me. Is that weird?”

“He’s gay.”

“He also said my boobs were too big the other day.”

“Because he’s gay.” 

“But I think he was just trying to start shit with me.”

“Or-“

“He’s not gay!” She exclaims, huffing at him. “He’s just weird. Okay... I know that I kind of... _conned_ my way into this relationship with him, but I thought he would actually give it a real chance when he realized what I catch I am and how perfect we could be.” 

“Well I don’t know princess, you can’t really force someone to do something they don’t want. Uh, my sister would say some shit like... ‘it’s gotta be natural.’” 

It felt plenty natural to her. But maybe Dabi is right, maybe she should ask Katsuki what he wants out of this relationship or what would help him make this work. “I didn’t say that. If he didn’t want to be with you he could’ve told you to fuck all the way off, but he didn’t. If he’s gonna be in it then he’s gonna be in it and that doesn’t mean you have to just take his shit. If he’s saying and doing asshole things, call him out on it. You wanted it, stand your fucking ground, idiot.” 

Ugh, finally! Someone who understands and is on her side! This is all she wanted from her friends and it feels damn fucking good hearing it from Dabi. She’s going to stand her ground tonight and every other day after this. God this turned out to be such a great night all things considered.

* * *

It’s roughly close to 3AM when she finally stumbles into her boyfriends dorm room. She had to pound on the door until someone let her in, but she got in there alright. This sweet little redhead is such a good person. He’s so nice and helpful, keeping her face off the floor offering her water for her insanely dry mouth. He’s so surprised that she’s here because he thought she came back hours ago, but he’s so glad that she’s here now and safe. 

Bakugou is so annoyed, how dare she come home this intoxicated and this fucking late. Why does she smell like weed and who was she out with? Wasn’t she supposed to be at work and where the hell is his food? Really he’s bitching for no reason. She’s having a great time, they should all be having a great time. All he wants to do is shove bread down her throat and make her lay down. The bread is yummy, but there’s something else she would much rather prefer to swallow. 

“Why so you can vomit on me?” He hisses under his breath. Himiko is sitting on the bed, swaying slightly while she patiently waits for Bakugou to finish stripping her for bed. “Up.” He mumbles and she tosses her arms up, giggling and kicking her legs. The shirt gets pulled over head and he undoes her bra next. His hands push against her shoulders, shoving her onto her back so he can get her pants off. 

“W-why won’t you sleep with me?” She asks him. “I got a real pretty vagina man, you seen it.” Bakugou walks over to his dresser, ignoring her, and pulls out a t shirt for her to wear to bed. 

He tugs on her arm, pulling her up so he can slip the shirt over her head and then lays her back down. She watces him as he checks the time on his phone and then his eyes turn to her. A lazy grin slips onto her face as she parts her thighs for him. His hands grip the meat, running along her exposed skin slowly, creeping higher and higher to the waistline of her panties. 

She’s fantasized about this a million times before and she can’t believe it’s finally going to happen. Bakugou Katsuki is going to bed her, sure it’s not after some amazing heroic feat like slaying his mortal enemy and saving her from her dungeon but either way this is going to be a dream come true. 

Her arms wrap around his neck as he lowers himself down to kiss her. Every one of his kisses always makes her feel like everything in the world will be okay, like she’s floating on a blanket of clouds. She leans into his kiss, sucking on his bottom lip. His tongue swipes at her own lips before slipping into her mouth. Her hips lift, brushing against his groin and he grinds down against her. 

His lips travel to her neck kissing and sucking at her pulse while his hands reach under her shirt, groping her breasts and teasing hardened nipples. “Where were you tonight, huh?” He mutters into her skin, snaking a hand into her panties. 

She sighs softly as she feels his fingers on her, stroking her slick folds, teasing her clit. She pushes against his hand wanting to feel him more, but he pulls his hand back. “No no, I’m in charge.” He tells her, “you answer my questions and I reward you.”

She whimpers, pouting at him. “I’m gonna pass out, can you just fuck me and we talk about it tomorrow?” She whines. 

Katsuki sucks his teeth and shrugs, removing his hand from her panties and moving to lay down on his side of the bed. Himiko sits up, gaping at him in disappointment and confusion. “What are you doing?!” She exclaims. “I need your penis sir! 

“Sounds like you don’t since you won’t tell me where you’ve been.” He says. 

Him holding his penis hostage isn’t going to work for her and how long does he intend to do this for? What happens if she tells him she was hanging out with a bunch of drug dealers and a pimp? “I was just with some friends.” She whines. “I..I had a good time, we drank...had shakes and fries...I could’ve brought you a burger back.” 

“Ya could’ve. Selfish.” He grunts, pulling the blanket over him. “Said you were gonna pass out right? Go to sleep.” 

“No.” She whines again, yanking the blanket down. _‘Stand your fucking ground idiot.’_ Dabi was right. She already committed to standing her ground and tonight she wants sex. They’re together, they’re both hot, they should be banging like rabbits but instead they’re acting like a geriatric married couple that’s lost their sex drive.

“What the fuck is your problem? Are you blind mister? Look at me!” She shouts. 

“Shut the fuck up, you disturbed the peace once already.” 

“Bakugou Katsuki.” She starts in the sternest voice she can manage for someone who’s well on their way to passing out. “ _You_ came to _me_. I was ready to give you up and you asked me to come back!”

“Oh bullshit!” He laughs at her. “I didn’t have to ask you to do shit, you would’ve come back regardless.” 

“Well...yeah, but.. I came back a lot faster because you asked me to!” 

He rolls over onto his back and props himself up on his elbows, a wicked smirk on his face. “All you have to do is tell me the truth Himiko. I mean for someone who claims to be such a magnificent girlfriend, I feel like you’re not being all that magnificent right now. I mean you blew me off tonight, won’t tell me where you were, who you were with, and now you think I owe you my dick just because you’re hot?” He chuckles, shaking his head and then sighs. “Sounds kind of like a shitty girlfriend to me.” 

Himiko inhales sharply, the familiar sting of tears rising. Is he right? Is she being a bad girlfriend? Running away from her problems with others instead of voicing it to him up front? Throwing a hissy fit and complaining, trying to force him to overlook her character flaws. Nobody prepard her for what she should do when faced with that reality. Dabi made her feel like she was completely in the right and could just come in guns blazing, but here he is with his own guns and they’re a lot bigger than hers. 

She doesn’t want him to think of her as a bad girlfriend, she wants to be the best one he’s ever had, she knows she can be. She wants to shower him in all her affection and love and she has so so much of it to give him. But he’ll never let her give it if he thinks she’s trifling. 

“Okay. I‘ll tell you.” She whispers, nodding to him. “I wanna be a good girlfriend for you.” 

“I know you do.” He whispers back. Red orbs watch her waiting for her to spill her sins before him. She remains hesitant and maybe it’s because of the alcohol swimming in her bloodstream, but she sees both Rachel and Dabi on each of her shoulders, the former dressed in white and the latter dazzled in red. Angel Ray is telling her that lying is never the way to go and that she spent a lot of time and effort trying to get even this far so just be honest. Devil Dabi on the other shoulder is laughing at Ray and telling her that she’s an idiot if she tells the truth in its entirety. A little white lie never hurt nobody, right? 

She notices then that Bakugou is teasing her by palming the erection in his boxers. Himiko whacks Rachel off her shoulder in her head. If she gets stupid and tells him the entire truth she is never going to get laid, Dabi is right. The world was built on little white lies, everyone tells them, and she can still be a good girlfriend by protecting her innocent baby from the painful truth. “Ray and I went out to get milkshakes and eat...so we could talk and make up ya know?” 

“Mhmm, _just_ you and Ray?” She blinks wearily, breathing through her mouth as she watches him push the boxers down enough for his cock to spring free.

She shrugs slightly, “we saw Dabi there, he ate with us.” Himiko inches a bit closer, her palm itching and nibbling on her bottom lip. 

“So you were supposed to be bringing me food, but you bailed to hang out with a drug dealer?” _‘Backtrack backtrack backtrack!’_

“He propositioned me, but I declined because I have you!” She tells him urgently. “Why would want I want _anyone_ else when I have the most perfect man right here?” 

There’s a flicker of something in his eyes and he smirks at her, he loves having his ego stroked, she knows this already. “You really do want me, huh?” So badly how does he not understand this!? 

At this point her panties and the shirt just feel offensive to her so she tosses and kicks them off, sticky mess. “I would give you...the _world_ wrapped in the prettiest pink bow. I _will_ give you all of me because that’s what you deserve and I deserve all of you...right?” 

For a moment he doesn’t respond and she’s tense, rubbing her thighs together for much desired friction. Eventually, finally, thankfully he kicks off his boxers and beckons her over with a finger. She’s never moved so fast, straddling his lithe body, her hands gliding lovingly over such flawless skin, his weeping member pressed up against her wet folds. She can’t help but to grind her hips against him, but he’s quick to catch her hips with his hands. 

“You want me so badly? You think you deserve me? Show me, give me a reason to wanna fuck you.” Oh honey, that ain’t nothing but a thang for her, she’s got this. Right now she’s up against every other chick he’s ever been with, she’s got something to prove, something to win, someone to impress. 

She leans over pressing her lips to his, pouring as much obvious passion as she can into her kiss, like her life depends on it and in a way, to her, it does. Her hand slips between them, gripping his dick and guiding his head to her warm and inviting entrance. She moans into his mouth and she feels a rumble in his chest when he first breeches these new waters, she’s always tried to imagine how pleasurable the stretch would be, but her imagination pales in comparison to the real thing. 

She hates to break away from him, but she wants to see his face for their first time together. She wants to watch him gaze up at her with wonder and love in his eyes the way she always looks at him. His eyes are trained on her sex, watching her as she sinks down on him inch by inch until they’re flush together and she lets out a long, satisfied sigh. Himiko has a habit for being impulsive about everything, but she doesn’t want to rush this so she tries to stick to a steady, rhythmic pace, working him inside her slick...but well, she is Himiko so it’s not long before she feels that overwhelming giddy pleasure rising up inside her. The giggles bubble up in her throat as she bounces on his shaft. 

His hands slip to her ass and she feels his nails digging into skin as he bucks up into her and it just goads her on. She feels a little lightheaded when she imagines that nice redhead in the other room and she really, sincerely hopes he can hear them, because doesn’t that just sound so exotic? The shameless sounds of their skin, her sultry giggles and moans, Bakugou’s grunting, she would be elated if she were him, being treated to such a show. 

Before she has a minute to think it through she leans back down and sinks her teeth into his nipple and digs her nails into his side, dragging them down leaving trails of beautiful red in their wake. He hisses and curses under his breath, smacking her ass almost as if to warn her, but that just riles her up more. She grinds down hard against him, his pubic hair brushing against her clit and her nails make pathways down his chest. His hips snap up against her and she laughs breathlessly above him her head falling back. 

“Fuck, you’re a real slut aren’t you?” He growls at her. “You take my cock so fucking well.” He’s praising her, it makes her feel so good. He’s right, she is the only one who could ever make him feel this good. “Shit look at you, makin’ a mess all over me.” He presses his thumb against her clit, rubbing quick circles against her. She shivers from the pleasure, her hips stuttering a bit at the added pleasure.

“Ahh ‘Suki, you drive me... _insane_.” She drawls, grinning widely. Her walls clamp around him and she whimpers feeling her climax quickly approaching. He grins up at her, he looks so beautiful, so majestic. 

“Gonna cum for me? Cum all over your owner’s fat cock.” 

“Yes!” Whatever he wants, she’ll do. As long as it means she gets to keep being his and he remains hers. “Katsuki, fuck!” Her orgasm hits her like a bag of bricks, it’s the single most greatest thing she’s ever experienced. Being brought to completion by the man she loves, her real true love. The man she will marry one day and have lots of babies with. The dragon king that she’s tamed, the boy that’s teaching her how to be better for him and him even better for her. It makes her tingle all over, from head to toe and her heart go spastic with overflowing emotions. So much happiness and love swimming in her body and when she feels Katsuki cum she knows there’s something else swimming in her too. ‘Oops’ should be her first thought, but then all she can think is how wonderful would it be if they just got started on their future right now? Like right this moment? 

Him, the famous football all star and her the sweet and cute little nurse that patches people up and draws extra blood for keepsakes. The media would love them and their son would look just his daddy, they would wait to marry, until he can walk so he can be their ring bearer and maybe they’ll have a little girl by then so she can be their flower girl. They’ll have to be close in age though so that Himiko doesn’t have to wait too long for their wedding. 

Bakugou Himiko, it has such a promising ring to it. And to think, none of this would be possible if she hadn’t been kidnapped by Dabi and roped into the sketchy nightlife of drug dealing down Boulevard. She owes her patchwork friend so much for all his help tonight and if her staying out late like this riles Bakugou up like _that_ then she thinks they could stand a few more late night makeup romps. They’ll keep the excitement in their love life going, never a dull moment. Devil Dabi is on her shoulder whispering in her ear as she basks in her ethereal glow, he agrees. Part of being a good girlfriend is making sure you have keep things interesting for the sake of wild passion and nights (mornings) like these. Clearly he just really missed her and that’s why he was so upset earlier, next time she’ll just make sure to stay in touch better so at least that way he knows she’s safe. Devil Dabi is such a genuis. 

“I love you.” She whispers to Bakugou. If she weren’t so swept up in her fantasies she would know that he never said it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won’t lie y’all I don’t know when the next update will be as I have returned to work, but I’m aiming for Sunday. Enjoy reading!


	8. Use Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been listening to PVRIS’ new album on repeat and y’all should give it a listen too. Use Me inspired this chapter. 
> 
> In this chapter, Ray gets under Bakugou’s skin and the boy is PRESSED.  
> Dabi reminds Himiko that he ain’t shit and Himiko just really wants to be loved.   
> Smut and not proofread.

Rachel “Ray” Gardner is someone Bakugou never really imagined himself talking to. She’s known around campus as the nerdy brainiac who made it to college ahead of her time and never smiles for anything, not even at her boyfriend. Rumor also has it that she spent a few years locked in a psych ward and she’s actually way older than what she claims, but because she’s so small and youthful looking she passes for one of them, kind of like a ‘The Orphan’ situation but instead of orphan she would be ‘The Co-Ed’ or whatever. 

Personally he doesn’t really give a shit about how old she really is, where she spent a few years of her life, how smart she supposedly is, none of that. He’s just bothering her now because he needs to confirm with her that she was out and about eating burgers and shit with Himiko. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his head that tells him her story was bullshit, but he can’t prove it and despite how fucking early she woke him and how annoyed he was, he _was_ already awake and no one has ever been so desperate to fuck him. Being desired like that is a turn on that’s fairly hard to ignore. But ignore it he will if his theory pans out! 

So, back to the chick at hand. She’s quiet and she’s staring at him with these big blue eyes that look like a lake bearing the moon’s reflection. She’s probably the most uninterested and bored looking person he has ever met, as if the whole idea of living life is just really wack to her. He thought that maybe when she opened her room door and saw him she would be super bitchy and curse him out for causing problems with her and her friend, but she didn’t. She merely said, “oh, it’s you...come in I guess” and let him in. 

He wasn’t expecting to see some strange man walking around the space of their dorm, but apparently that’s just ‘Zack’ , her homeless friend who’s temporarily staying with her while Himiko is out of the room. He doesn’t even waste his time commenting on that blatantly dangerous code violation. 

“So you and Toga haven’t made up then?” He asks her. 

The blonde shrugs, “Himi is like a child, she cries, she laughs, she’s angry, all within the span of five minutes. If I wasted all my time being angry with her all day every day for one of her various emotional episodes I would have grey hair.” True. “Why are you asking, did she say something about me?” 

He’s certainly not going to tell her that Himiko claimed they hung out because she may cover for her and he’s not gonna catch her like that. So instead he just says… “I’m tired of hearing her bitch about her friends. If you two meet up and talk or whatever then she can move back in and be happy again...and I can have my room back.” 

There’s something about the way that Rachel looks at him. It’s not a look that he’s seen before, unlike Himiko who always looks like she wants to eat him alive or maybe shitty hair who looks at him like he’s one of the best people he’s ever known. No, Rachel’s look is ...unnerving. It’s so blank, such a dead stare that he feels like he’s staring at a rigor mortis staged corpse someone left up for a Halloween decoration. If it weren’t for her talking and occasionally moving then he would be effectively creeped out. How is that purple haired extra dating this chick? She’s probably like a plank in bed. 

“News flash, she’s always going to bitch about us because that’s just her. We’re very realistic with her and I don’t tolerate sugary sweet lies so I pretty much piss her off all the time. And as for her moving back in...I never told her to leave, actually have asked her to stop being weird and come back already, but for some reason she likes living with you.” 

“For some reason?” He scoffs, frowning at her. The fuck is that supposed to mean? You don’t even know me. 

“Actually, freshman year we had a class together, sat next to each other in the back, cross reviewed assignments for each other, did several group projects together, and I had the very unfortunate pleasure of speaking to you on multiple occasions. How do you think Himiko even knew you existed? We were in the cafe, I saw you at breakfast one day and said ‘oh look, it’s the shitty asshole I sit next to in Lit.’ Terrible idea really, she swore up and down she was in love the next minute and still hasn’t let it go.” 

He looks and feels puzzled. Lit? Freshman year? Her? He sat next to and worked with _her_? Jeez he knows he’s bad at remembering people’s faces, but if he works with someone as often as she claims to have worked with him he feels like he would have at least remembered one instance. 

“So...it’s your fault she’s so crazy about me?” 

“No.” She denies, huffing. “It’s _your_ fault. You’re the same as you were back then, egotistical. A narcissistic know-it-all even though you don’t know-it-all. What you _do_ know is that this sweet naive girl who gets super ahead of herself has _serious_ feelings for you and instead of finding a way to let her down gently you decided to play with her emotions. Have you slept with her yet? What are you using her for exactly?” 

He barks out laughter at her. This little creepy bitch. “You call me an egotistical narcissist?” It’s not wrong. “Look at you, sitting all high and fucking mighty in your seat, trying to make me the bad guy when I haven’t done anything she hasn’t practically _begged_ me to do.” 

“So you’re a martyr for putting up with her now?” Her eyes roll and she waves an offensively dismissive hand at him. 

“Don’t dismiss me bitch. She’s _your_ friend, you know how much of a lunatic she is. I tried telling her several times that I didn’t want shit to do with her and it got me nowhere.”

“I mean, I recall a conversation I had with her where she was quite willing to be over you. She was upset and ‘heartbroken’ but she would’ve moved on. You’re not as great as she thinks you are, as great as _you_ think you are.”

For a hot minute he considers just whacking her with his crutch and then kicking her while she’s down because dammit he really hates the way she’s talking to him. So rude and dismissive, but so calm and composed as if this conversation with him is the equivalent to a conversation about the weather; boring and meaningless. Never in his life has anyone been so fucking haughty with him and he doesn’t really know what to do with it. His anger clearly doesn’t bother her, he’ll be damned if he plays nice with her, how do you stir the dead? 

“Do you even care about your friend? Cause she cares about your twisted ass a lot. Aren’t you supposed to be threatening to stay away from her if you’re so convinced I’m bad for her?” 

“Do I look like her mommy?” She questions, raising a simple brow. “As her friend, I gave her warnings, I told her the truth, and I never lied to her about how I felt towards you and towards her desires for you. _But_ , it’s not my responsibility to force her eyes open. She’s a grown woman and she’s intelligent enough to learn on her own. You’re going to burn her and when you do, like a good friend I will be there, but until then I’m not about to let completely avoidable drama rain on my parade.” 

Well there it is. Rachel is an asshole and a fucking horrible person in his book. The irony? Would he react the same way if one of his friends was being an idiot, sure would. _But_ his saving grace is that his friends aren’t clearly mentally unstable so he wouldn’t feel so compelled to do something the way he feels Rachel should be compelled to. If he says it like that then it sounds almost like he actually cares about Toga’s well-being..and he doesn’t. He’s just baffled but her response to the whole situation. 

He stands her, gripping his crutches in his hands, “fuck you. You can think what you want about me, I don’t give a shit. I won’t even remember who you are after I leave here.” He will though, because she’s definitely managed to make a lasting impression on him this time. “Hope you’re ready to never see your friend again, she’s mine now, and she doesn’t fucking need you.” 

“Okay?” She mutters. “Would you like me to get the door for you cripple?” 

He pauses and inhales sharply through his nose and bites down hard on his lip. Stupid little smartass. “No.” He hisses, getting the door for himself thank you very much. “I’d like you to suck my dick and choke you fucking freak.” 

He hears her snort behind him, cockily and it takes everything in him not to turn around and charge her. “Probably not much to choke on, but you have a fantastic day too.” Right behind him there’s the TV resting on the stand so innocently and completely out of the way of their argument. He doesn’t even hesitate to knock it over with his crutch and he grins when it crashes loudly to the floor, it’s what she deserves and then he slams the door on his way out. 

  
  


When he gets back to his room, Toga’s in there, gathering her books for her next class, but he has other ideas in mind for her. He’s not about to let that little scrumpet be right, Toga isn’t going to leave him. He won’t let her, if anything, it will be _him_ leaving _her_ because that’s how this is supposed to work. He _is_ a fucking catch, the greatest damn catch anyone could ever catch and Camie, shit... _Rachel_ , is wrong. This..this insane, bat shit woman is the only one who understands that right now so he’ll make do with that. He’ll use her to demonstrate how amazing he is, he’ll use her to make everyone else feel stupid, envious. This is his pet, his project, his example. 

The pet is caught off guard when he comes in practically steaming from the ears, foaming at the mouth and orders her to bend over, but like a good pet she doesn’t ask questions or make any objections, just does exactly as her owner tells her. 

Crutches abandoned on the floor and he kneels behind her, pushing her dress up and bunching the fabric of her red panties in his hand, pulling them teasingly against her cunt. She giggles and tries to ask him what’s gotten him so hot, but he merely tells her to be quiet. Good pets only speak when spoken to and the only things she’s allowed to do are give him answers to his questions and praises for him being the best thing she’s ever had. 

He licks a stripe over the thin fabric of her panties and listens to the way she purrs softly. He palms the flesh of her round ass, massaging her cheeks in his hands as he mouths her wet panties, taunting her body with his not so direct contact. _‘You’re going to burn her.’_ He will, he will burn his name, his face, his entire being all over her and what will she do? Nothing, but everything he wants her to. She asked for this, she chased him, she hounded him, begged for him, gave herself over willingly, she can’t ever just _leave_. There’s no need for Rachel to be there to pick her up because by the time he’s through with her, Rachel won’t be on her radar. She will have no one and he will be the only person she can think of, she’ll come back, again and again and beg him like she begged him before to be with her, to love her. The same way he begged Camie and then they’ll both be idiots. 

He hooks his fingers in her panties and pulls them down, pushing a finger into her tight hole and then adding a second because he knows she can take a lot more than that, thank you very much. _‘Probably not much to choke on.’_ Fuck her, stupid asshole. He would leave her gagging for air and crying, who does she think she is? “Katsuki.” Himiko whines. His cock stirs in his jeans as he ogles the sight of his fingers slipping in and out of her pussy, the noises she makes are like obscene music to his ears, so wet and messy, his good little gushing pet. His thumb works circles into her clit, her hips grind against him, greedy little thing.

“You were right, you’ve got such a pretty little pussy. Who does it belong to?” 

She’s quick to tell him it belongs to him, but he wants more than just that. “What’s my name?” 

“K-Katsuki. Bakugou..Katsuki.” And no one else. He dips his head down, dragging his tongue along her pucker and she gasps, her back arching more. 

“And this ass, who does this ass belong to?” 

“You, Katsuki!” And no one else. His fingers curl inside her, pressing against that soft spot at her core, dragging her orgasm to the frontlines while his thumb rubs her faster and his tongue laps at her hole. He’s going to claim every part of her body, every part of her mind, own her entirely. His free arm steadies her writhing body as she pants heavily, her hands clinging to his sheets desperately as her mounting orgasm starts to get the best of her. This is something he can genuinely enjoy about his little pet, she cums like no other bitch, so hard, so earnestly and that’s all because of him. 

Her walls tighten around him and the only thing she cries out is his name as she cums all over his fingers, covering his digits in her cream. He works her through it, watching and listening to her come down from her high. He removes his fingers from her and takes them into his mouth, tasting her on him, she tastes so good. Compliments to the chef. Bakugou moves away from her for a moment just to grab something from his drawer, lube. 

He squirts a generous glob on her asshole, using his fingers to massage it over her hole, working a finger inside her. “You need me, don’t you?” 

“Yes.” She replies, confirming what he already knows. “I love you.” He knows this too. 

“So you’d do anything for me, then?” He questions as he works her hole open with another finger and palms himself through his pants. “Whatever I say, you’ll do, like a good little pet.” 

“Yes, Katsuki. I just want you to be happy.” He leans over and presses a kiss to her lower back. Good. She whimpers when he removes his fingers, but he shushes her gently, they’re games are _far_ from over. He stands up behind her, rucking his bottoms off and plants himself behind her, propping his left knee on the bed. Her ass wags happily when she hears him spit into his hand, coating his _impressive_ , for Rachel’s fucking information, length. He drags his head along her slick hole and presses into her slowly. They both hiss together at the feel, she’s so tight, he can’t wait to stretch her out. 

“Fuck.” He curses under her breath, pushing into her more. 

“Mmm, Baku, c-can you be gentle please?” She mewls, “I’m fragile.” 

Ha! He’s got scratches and bite marks all over him that tell him she’s anything but. She’s a pain freak and they both know this, but he doesn’t want to _actually_ physically hurt her and he’s a gentleman so of course he’ll give her time to adjust, but that doesn’t mean she won’t be walking around without a limp when he’s done with her. 

When he’s buried inside her, he pauses, allowing her a gracious moment to get comfortable with him nestled so deeply in her ass and when he can’t hold off any longer he moves. Inching himself almost all the way out and slamming back into her. He does this until he feels he can move freely, faster, harder. Snapping his hips against her roughly and loving the way her ass bounces against him and the way she cries out her pleasure. He has her right where he needs her, in the throws of ecstasy and he uses this opportunity to remind her that he is all she needs, him and no one else, not Rachel, not Miki, shit not even her parents. He should be the only person she ever thinks about, the only person she feels comfortable ever going to, the person she has to rely on because no one else will ever care for her. 

He leans down against her, grinding his hips into her and whispers hotly into her ear. “Do you know what she said?” He pants, huskily, “she doesn’t give a shit about you Himi. Your friends abandoned you. They don’t trust me, but they just threw you to the wolves. They’re not really your friends, baby.” 

He thinks he can almost hear her sniffle, but he can’t be sure because her face is buried in the sheets. “You trust me, yeah?” When she doesn’t answer him immediately he pulls on her hair, yanking her head back so he can see and hear her clearly. “Oi, I asked you a question didn’t I?”

“Yes! Yes, I trust you!” She cries out. “Please..can I cum please?” 

“I’m the only person you have now. She gave your room to some...homeless fuck. That’s how little you mean to her, you know that?” 

She’s definitely crying, but of course she is. He just ripped her whole world apart. How long did she spend thinking that bitch was her real friend only to be told that she never mattered to her. “Please..” she begs quietly. He kisses her wet cheek, licking away some of her salty tears. She’s been a good pet, good pets get rewarded. 

He releases her hair, letting her slump back down and moves his hand to her sensitive clit, strumming her to her second orgasm while his own creeps over him. He clenches his jaw, growling above her as his strokes turn rushed and sloppy, she’s a quivering mess, desperate and hopeful for release. He knows that when she cums she’s probably cumming to the idea of having everything she ever wanted, him. But when he cums, he’s cumming to the idea of winning. That walking bimbo Camie tried to play him, tried to make him feel like a loser, but he’s won. This crazy little loon is proof that he’s everything to at least someone. And Rachel? That bitch can wait forever and day, but she’s never getting Himiko back. Never.

* * *

Himiko sighs and groans tiredly, it’s starting to get late, she’s tired and so incredibly bored. She’s been sitting with Dabi for almost two hours just watching this house and doing absolutely nothing else. First of all, her butt hurts so sitting here in this lumpy ass old seat is killing her. Secondly, she has a lot on her mind and she would like to talk to him about it since he’s here, but every time she tries he shuts it down. He doesn’t want to hear her ‘whining’ and ‘complaining’ and he doesn’t care about her relationship drama. 

It’s such a turn around from how he was last night, helpful and kind, friendly. Maybe he needs to be drinking again for her to get the good Dabi. She has tried to talk to herself about her newest feelings, but she can never have a straight conversation with herself. She gets too distracted, she’s biased, and she can never keep her thoughts straight. 

The facts about her personal life. She’s sad. She lost her two closest friends and she’ll never be able to go back to them. They gave her chance after chance and she blew it for a crush. She’s hurt. She feels like they shouldn’t have given her such an ultimatum. They were supposed to be her friends and what has Bakugou ever really done to her to warrant so much dislike from them? He’s shifty. His moods change at the drop of a dime and she never knows which Bakugou she’s going to encounter. Sometimes his words are nasty and make her feel insecure and lower her self esteem. But he’s apologetic, he doesn’t do it on purpose, he just...is bad with social etiquette. 

He cares about her. He worries when she’s out late with no word, he’s protective of her in his own way. He could’ve broke the news about Ray to her and just let her cry and feel shitty, but he held her in his strong arms and helped her overcome her pain by blessing her with orgasm after orgasm. That’s good right? It felt helpful for her. So why does she still feel off about it? 

It has to be because of what she’s doing now. Initially she was gung-ho for this side hobby as a gangster, but now that she’s got her more rational head on she’s having second thoughts about it. She’s having waking nightmares about what could happen to her if she continues down this path. Shiggy has been to prison which means they make mistakes and they get caught, he does at least. Which means she could get caught and she could go to prison too. She’s already lost her friends, she doesn’t want to lose everything else too. 

“So you wanna quit?” Dabi drawls, rolling his eyes. “You are probably the most annoyingly indecisive person I’ve ever met.” She can’t help that, it’s just how she is. 

“You said all I have to do is finish paying off my debt. I’m just asking how much longer that will be.” 

Dabi licks his lips and points out her window towards the house they’re supposed to be watching. “See that man?” He asks as he slinks down in his seat. She follows his lead, also slinking out of sight but keeping an eye on the man he pointed to. There’s a lot of them actually, but she assumes he’s obviously talking about the one being guarded and escorted into the fancy ass car out front. “His name is Chisaki Kai.” He tells her. This is the man who dropped a dime on Shigaraki and had him locked up. He did it because he views Shigaraki as a gutter trash. His drugs are destroying Chisaki’s market, turning his clientele into degenerates. Their haul is cheaper and elicits a better high than Chisaki’s drugs. Chisaki’s drugs are enhancers, they make people feel almost invincible, keep you up and going for days on end without sleep. He also has what he refers to as ‘suicide pills’ which he sells to people who have vendettas to settle. They destroy people from the inside out causing an incredibly painful death. 

Their products are on two completely different spectrums and both of them are trying to own Whitefall, she can see where their problems stem from. “So what? Shiggy wants to kill him?” 

“No shit, but I don’t really feel like crossing hairs with the Yakuza, too much work and too much shit on the line.” 

“So what are you planning?” She questions with narrowed eyes. “I know you didn’t bring me out here for no reason.” 

Dabi smirks at her and pets her head, “smart cookie. I’ve known Shigaraki for years now so I know how impossible it is to change his mind about something. Since I know he’s going to go to war with this guy I plan on padding my escape which is why I brought you along.” 

“We go to a school with thousands of snobby rich kids, like you. They need good grades, they’re obsessed with studying, they’ll do anything to be the best. Heroin, weed, and hallucinogens aren’t going to help them do that...but enhancement pills will. We steal Chisaki’s drugs, sell them on campus and make a fuck ton. While we’re getting rich Chisaki will be thinking Shigaraki took his stash and he’ll go after him. That scaly idiot will retaliate and they’ll all end up either killing each other or getting arrested and thrown back in prison...I’m hoping for the former. That way there’s no loose ends.”

Honestly she’s surprised that Dabi is so willing to put his friends' lives at risk like that, without a single care except for what would happen to him if he screws up. She could clearly see that he, Shigaraki, and Spinner weren’t the closest, but Compress too? “They’ll look for you.” She tells him. “Chisaki’s crew. 

“They have no idea who I am. I made sure to steer absolutely clear of those fuckers. And they don’t know you either. Which is why you have to find a way to get in there and find out where the drugs are so the next time they leave, I can go in and steal it.” 

Oh. Oh she sees what this is. He wants to make sure he stays completely out of sight so he doesn’t get the blowback, but he’s totally fine throwing her into the flames? “You dick! I’m not getting killed over you!” She exclaims, punching him in his arm. “Fuck you Dab! I’m not a pawn, you bastard!!” 

“Chill out, chill out!” He hisses swatting at her. “Just listen, if you do what I say and nothing less or more you’ll be fine. If you’re so worried about it then do that little makeup shit you do, the normal kind though.” 

“That ‘little makeup shit?’” She scowls. “You want me to pack on makeup just to go lie to someone?” 

“I mean you already do it for free, do it for a paycheck.” He snorts, shrugging at her. “Throw in some contacts, wear a wig, make yourself look different. You’ll be fine.” 

That’s so easy for him to say, he’s not the one throwing himself in the wolves den. She has to think about this for a hot minute. What are the pros? She successfully steals the drugs, sells them with Dabi and gets money. The cons are that they get caught and she gets shot. “Yeah I don’t think so. I’m too pretty to die.” 

“He won’t hurt you, you’re a lady…closest thing to one. He has a daughter, treats her like a princess, he’s preferential to females. Look, if I thought you were in danger I wouldn’t have involved you. You’re spastic and crazy, but I know you can handle yourself. Just trust me, yeah?” She stares at him with wary eyes. Lesson learned, never play gangsters again. If she says no and stays with the League there’s no telling how long she’ll have to play puppet, but this shouldn’t take too long. If he’s a clean freak then she could try to go in as a maid, that would gain her full access to the house. 

He probably has cameras all through the house though so she would have to figure a way around those. And there’d be a lot of eyes on her. Honestly it’s just not looking like a good idea. “I can’t. I’m a chicken.” She admits. 

Dabi sucks his teeth, “I thought you would say that, which is why I have a backup plan to ensure I get my way.” He leans over her, opening the glove compartment and pulling out a folder, dropping it on her lap. “Look at those, think about what I’m gonna do with them, and then tell me what your answer is.” He instructs. 

Inside the folder is a bunch of pictures of Toga in some rather compromising positions. She recognizes these as the photos she so generously sent him back when they were fooling around. Photos that he swore he deleted, but clearly didn’t. Oh she’s so embarrassed right now. “Dabi!!” She whines, throwing an absolute tantrum in her seat. “This is revenge porn! It’s illegal!” 

“So call the police...then you can explain to your precious father how I got those pictures in the first place. Oh and Bakugou? Whew, can’t wait to see how he reacts to seeing his girlfriend's pussy spread all over campus. His ego is gonna be torched, he’ll be so pissed.” 

“Oh shut up I get it! You’re such an ass! Fine! I’ll sacrifice myself for your selfish cause! But I want fifty percent of the cut!”

“Twenty.” 

“Fifty! I’m doing all the work!”

“Fifteen because you’re complaining.” She fixes her mouth to object, but holds back. If he wants to play dirty then she can play dirty too. She’ll get her fair share one way or the other, but fuck him for doing this to her. On today of all days when she’s already hurting and confused he decides to drop this on top of her. It’s becoming abruptly clear to her that all her friends are just using her. Using her for laughs and games. She means nothing to them, nothing but a joke.

* * *

It’s been three days since Dabi unveiled his big plan to her and she’s been stewing ever since. Katsuki is always doing something, either with his friends or studying for class, at soccer practice -not like he can actually do anything there. So why can’t he use that time to spend time with her? She feels so lonely, so isolated and she just wants to be around him because being around him is what makes her feel happy. That’s when she feels the safest. 

He has been doing so much for her lately while everyone else has just been letting her down. She decides that he deserves something special so she pulls herself up and sets off to do what she does best. Shop. She wants to get him something that lets him know how much she really does love and appreciate him for everything he’s done. She also wants to get Rachel and Miki something because she has a hard time letting go. She just doesn’t want to believe that they’re really gone and she would be regretful if she didn’t at least try. 

She winds up filling her basket with more craft supplies than is probably necessary but these are some very big projects she’s working on so she needs every last bit of it. She can’t risk doing it in the dorm and having one of them catch her so instead she goes to Gemini and takes a booth to herself. They’re all going to get vouchers with coupons inside of them, redeemable at any time. Ray and Miki’s are full of friendly coupons with things she knows they love doing or want to do with her but never got around to. Katsuki’s are full of cuter and sexier coupons. She also made him a love poem full of forever promises expressing her unyielding love for him. 

For someone who’s talented enough to do face paint she can’t draw on paper worth a shit so the little pictures of them on their wedding day and surrounded by their babies looks like chicken scratch, but it’s the thought that counts...she needs more thought. Considering that she has now agreed to get herself involved with the Yakuza, she definitely needs to put more thought into this. She should bake him something sweet, cupcakes. 

She’s never been all that good at baking or cooking, but she can do a little something something if she really tries. The ingredients she gets for the cupcakes are all over the place but she’ll find a way to make it work. He didn’t tell her what time he would be back, never does, but she’s been keeping track of his rotating schedule so she can know when to expect him and if he’s on time today she has roughly an hour to make her masterpiece. 

Luckily she didn’t burn anything and the icing is a little wonky but she thinks she can consider this another job well done for her. “Good job Himi.” She mumbles patting herself on the back. She made brownie cupcakes with sprinkles inside and orange icing with his name spelled out in black lettering on each cupcake. Will they even eat 14 cupcakes? He can probably share them with some of his teammates if they don’t eat all of them. 

She lays the cupcakes out on the coffee table along with his poems and vouchers and then changes into a cute white crochet pattern dress with strappy white sandals that come up to her calves. She can always hear them coming back before she sees them, they’re so loud and ugh there’s so many of them. One, two, three, four, five, six of them come walking in the door. The usual five suspects and Kirishima’s girlfriend and they all seem to think these cupcakes are for them even though there’s someone’s name clearly already spelled out on them. 

“You can’t have them before Katsuki does, Kaminari!” She exclaims smacking his dirty hand away. “If he wants to share he can share tomorrow, but I would greatly appreciate it if you all would... _leave_.” 

“What is this?” Bakugou asks, looking over everything on the table. 

“Man I miss being able to come to my dorm and just stay here.” Kirishima laughs. 

“I’ll explain it all just as soon as we’re alone.” She smiles at the blonde. 

Bakugou raises an eyebrow at her, frowning lightly. She quietly pleads to him with her eyes, begging him to get rid of everyone so they can have a moment alone for their little celebration. She wants them to have a nice and quiet night together without all the others in here. 

He sighs, turning to the others and shoos them all away, all except Kirishima and Mina. Kirishima lives here and he’s not just gonna kick him out and since Mina is his girlfriend if Kiri wants her here then she gets to stay too. Fine, they’ll be in his room and out of the way. 

“Can I shower first?” He asks her. 

“We can shower together later.” She smiles. She motions towards the couch and he begrudgingly sits down, leaning his crutches against the couch next to him. Toga picks up a cupcake, offering it to him with a wide smile before sitting down next to him. 

He makes a face at the taste of the icing which she can understand because she didn’t like it either when she sampled it, but it’s more so just for the aesthetic. At least he approves of the actual cupcake itself. Fudgy chocolate packed into a nice little mini cake, full of sprinkles and love. 

“I wrote this for you and made this for you. That was supposed to be a simple card with one poem but then I got excited and it turned into a little book of love poems. And that one is a voucher full of coupons to be used at any time.”

Her heart races as he looks over her gifts, slowly thumbing through her handcrafted pages, his eyes quickly skimming over some pages and lingering more on others. Her cheeks are dusty with blush when his eyes glide over the lines of her poem and they turn an even brighter shade of red when she notices his own cheeks slightly tinged in rouge as well. Oh heavens he likes the poems. She knows she’s good with words, she writes fan fiction for craps sake, has tons of readers, but these love poems are different. 

They have to convey a deep kind of meaning and they have to express every bit of affection and love she has for him. For being the only person who’s honest with her and the only one who accepts her as she is. It depicts two years worth of longing and desire, all her hopes and dreams for them and everything she wants to do for him. 

“You wrote this shit by yourself?” He grunts, setting the poems back down on the table and leaning back against the couch. She nods, chewing on her lip. 

“Did you...did you like the poems?” She whispers. 

“I mean... I don’t do all that cheesy shit, but... it was fine. They were fine.” He can’t even look her in her eyes right now and his cheeks are getting darker. He’s such a cutie pie. “Is there an occasion?” He wonders aloud. 

“Not really? I mean.. with everything going on I felt like you deserved it. But isn’t just loving you occasion enough?”

“You and that l word.” He mumbles. Katsuki leans over, resting his elbows on his knees and running a hand through wild hair. “You claim that you’re so in love with me...you had two years before now to say something. Why now? Do you realize how difficult it makes it for me to believe that you love me? Out of nowhere you come at me with all these insanely strong emotions and springing affection on me every time I turn around. I’m not a nice guy, you realize that, right?! I’m an asshole Toga, I tried turning you down and pushing you away and you just never backed down. What is wrong with you?” 

….what? Himiko groans softly, looking at the table. The cupcakes are still there, the poems and voucher are still there, and her dress is still cute. It’s still the same afternoon that she decided to do all this. He enjoyed her cupcake, he liked her poem, he thought the voucher was nice...so why on earth is he so upset now? He’s starting to sound like Ray. 

She tries to suppress the urge to cry. There’s no need for her to cry, she just needs to explain herself clearly to him. Of course the poems were supposed to do that, but everyone always needs to hear things from her more than once apparently. 

Himiko exhales through her lips and brushes loose hair behind her ears, lowering herself to the floor between his knees. “If I had talked to you two years ago, would you have even looked twice at me?” She asks him. She already knows the answer before he tells her; no. Exactly. She needed time, first to see if her crush would even stick because yes okay, she is fickle with love. She has a big heart and a lot of emotions, she has light years worth of affection to give to people and Bakugou didn’t seem like the kind of person to trifle with if she was just going to get over him in a week. 

“When I found out that we were going to live in the same building this year and that we had classes together I took that as the cosmos telling me that it was time. Time to...grow on you. I just wanted you to notice me. I get it, I’m clingy and I’m obsessive, I do a lot of weird and annoying things, but that’s just how I love..I love hard.”

Himiko slinks her hands into his and rests her head on his thigh. “I’ve been so sad these last few days and I feel like even though I’m finally getting what I wanted most...I’m losing everything else I loved too. My heart hurts Katsuki, I just...I just wanted to do something nice for you so you know how much I appreciate you for keeping me sane right now. Everyone else has just been using me for their own amusement. Laughing at me behind my back, treating me like I’m expendable...but you, I feel like you really love me back.” 

She smiles softly, nestling against his thigh. “You’re so honest with me and that’s why I’m so dedicated to you. You could take whatever you need from me and I would give it to you. I would be whatever you need me to be and you could use me all you needed because at least I know you’d never change up on me.”

His hand feels heavy when it comes to rest on her head, lightly scraping his nails against her scalp. His other hand comes to rest on her upper back, rubbing gently and she feels good. “It’s you Bakugou Katsuki. Even if you mess up, it’ll always be you. And I hope that for you it’s me, regardless of what I do, how bad I may mess up, I hope it’ll always be me for you.” She smiles harder when he leans over and kisses the top of her head. His finger comes down to lift her chin up so he can lock eyes with her. 

This is probably the warmest look he’s ever given ever and she would’ve never noticed had she never done this. Hours ago she thought she had already seen his warm side, gentle and sweet, but the way he cradles her in his lap and murmurs against her neck tells her that she had only seen lukewarm before. “As long as it’s me for you, it’s you for me.”


	9. Someone Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proofread, um...I have no excuse for the smut in this chapter.

_ Daydreams begin with flaming crimson _

_ Pools of deep earnest wine _

_ Burrowed into the fair pale skin _

_ Of a man crafted to be the most beautiful design _

_ A voice made of gravel trembles the bones _

_ Hands rough and calloused yet gentle and sweet _

_ With arms that protect against the unknown _

_ This is the beginning of a daydream for me _

_ A mind fortified with keen intellect  _

_ A witty tongue just as sharp _

_ Strong and free are the children he’d beget _

_ Complete with grit and a warrior’s heart _

_ This is the beginning of a daydream for me _

_ When it all comes together to make a perfect beast _

_ But nightmares hide around the corner and come just as easily _

_ A temper that could make my heart his feast _

_ Nightmares begin with when insecurities arise _

_ Claws out and jaws open ready to strike _

_ The world becomes a target to protect his pride _

_ Yet still I stand ready to give my life _

_ Though tired and weary _

_ An uncracked resolve within me _

_ Through steady voice and eyes so bleary _

_ “I love you always, I love you dearly” _

_ I see what the others do not _

_ My daydream in the midst of such a nightmare _

_ Brought upon by judgment and careless thought _

_ And to fix it he’s bathed in my care _

_ This is the end of a nightmare for me _

_ When the clouds leave and the storm ends  _

_ And what is left is the angel I know him to be _

_ His pride I mend and my heart he cleansed  _

_ Daydreams begin with flaming crimson _

_ Pools of deep earnest wine  
_

_ Over his obstacles he has risen _

_ Oh how I cherish this daydream that is mine _

  
“Okay so a couple of things.” Kirishima announces after he’s finished reading one of the poems Himiko wrote. “This is a beautiful and manly poem and I really hope you didn’t bring it to me so you could shit on it. Mina doesn’t write stuff like this for me and I feel kind of sad about it. These children you’re apparently begetting? Are you guys having kids or is  _ she  _ having kids? Or was it just for the sake of the rhyme? Also she’s absolutely right about that pride thing, you get really pissy over your ego.” 

Bakugou snatches the poem out of the redheads hands and folds it back up, slipping it into his pocket. This damn poem in particular has been gnawing at him ever since he got it. He reads it when he’s alone, he reads it when she’s asleep, he reads it in the middle of class, he’s read it so many times now he knows stanzas one through four by heart. 

She isn’t supposed to be doing this, making him feel all conflicted and shit. It’s easier to be an asshole about these things when he thinks that she’s just acting on lunacy logic, but she was so genuine, so heartfelt when she gave him that poem and when she spoke to him afterwards. She sounded so normal, at least the most normal he’s ever heard her sound. It makes him feel….bad.

“I don’t want to talk shit about it, shitty hair. I came to you because you’re sensitive and honest and shit. What do you think I should do?” 

Kirishima’s eyes widen and he points to himself as if he can hardly believe Bakugou is asking for his advice. “I’m flattered.” He grins. “Well for starters I think you should do something nice for her as well, ya know start trying to make up for all the shit you’re putting her through emotionally?” 

Sure, that’s one thing he could...but, “she doesn’t even know what I’m doing! She thinks I’m the most perfect fucking boyfriend in the world. Why would I start drama for myself by telling her I’ve purposefully been an asshole to her because I hated her if she doesn’t even know I’m being an asshole?” 

“Because she deserves the truth?” His friend frowns at him, sighing and shaking his head. “I kind of feel like this is the beginning of karma for you. You were so focused on her being ...different and not what you wanted and now you’re starting to realize that she’s actually not all that bad. And now that you’re realizing it she’s probably going to realize that you aren’t all that great and leave you.” 

Bakugou snorts, chuckling at the other male. “Let’s not get stupid, she’ll never realize that. You read the poem, she’s a hundred percent sprung. But sure I guess she’s not as horrible as I thought.” She’s doting, giving, sweet, and fucks like a champ, all things he can list as pros that he initially would’ve never given her. 

Kirishima rubs the back of his neck, glancing at Bakugou from the side. “I know you’re my best friend and all, but I really do hope Toga dumps you one day. You deserve to be happy, but you don’t deserve her, man.” 

The statement makes him tense up uncomfortably. He won’t admit that Kirishima is right in some way, but mentally he’s acknowledging what he said. She has done nothing to him. He shoves and nitpicks and belittles and she just keeps it pushing like he’s incapable of doing harm. She...loves him so unconditionally and he’s treating her like absolute garbage over some years long grudge with another chick. His mother would beat bricks out of his head if she heard about this bullshit. His father would give him that puppy dog look of disappointment. 

“Fine, fuck. Let’s say I just recently decided to actually try with her, for real this time. How do I do that without having to tell her that I’ve been fucking with her?” 

“Are you scared bro? Is that what it is? You know that if you tell her the truth, she’s probably gonna leave you.” 

“Wrong!” He objects quickly. “You’ve made it clear that I’ve already done enough to her, should I really go ahead and break her heart too while I’m trying to make nicer decisions?” 

Two pairs of red eyes lock with each other in a stare off on the courtyard bench. He’s already admitted that he’s dick and agreed to try and be a better boyfriend, give her an actual chance instead of writing her off so there’s no way he’s going to go and risk blowing it now by telling her that. Kirishima can come off it because he’s not caving on that decision. 

His friend exhales heavily, giving him the ‘I’m upset with you, but it’s not actually any of my business so I’m not gonna stress over it’ look. “If I hurt Mina’s feelings I take her out and spend the day with her doing things she likes. Arcades, dancing, dinner. Just ask her and find out what she wants for you, but make sure whatever you do is something that will make up for all the shit you’ve been pulling.”

“No shit Sherlock.” 

“Yeah, you’re welcome. I gotta go man, got a tutoring session with TodoMomo.” Bakugou nods his friend off and starts thinking. What could Toga want that would make her go over the moon? Other than him being a faithful, kind hearted boyfriend. 

_ Hey looney bin, where are you? We need to talk. _

_ Himi: I didn’t do whatever it is you’re mad about now :( :o :o _

Oof, yeah he’s most definitely an asshole. He replies to her that he just wants to ask her something and that she’s not in any trouble and she tells him he can find her in the library. Jeez that’s such a long way away from him though.  _ Meet me in the courtyard _

_ Himi: Be there in 10 _

_ Himi: Maybe 15 _

_ Himi: I’m coming as quickly as I can :)  _

What if she asks him to do something weird with her? Like paint his face for her little channel or finally read one of her fanfics? He doesn’t even watch whatever crappy show she writes about so none of it would make sense to him anyways. 

Perhaps the best thing he can do for her at this point is just break up with her. It’s not like he never planned not to anyways and even though it will probably devastate her, she’s a big girl, she can and will get over it eventually. Oh but then finishing their project would be high key awkward. They don’t have much more to do so maybe he can wait until they’re done. 

There’s a mini Kiri that pops up on his shoulder dressed in nothing but what appears to be silky white boxers and a halo on his head. Even angel Kiri likes to show off. Angel Kiri tells him that he’s an asshole for thinking like that which is pretty strange because he didn’t think angels could curse, but apparently they can.  _ You just acknowledged that she’s a good girl, plus you told her she’s not in any trouble, you’re going to break her heart if you dump her.  _ Well yes, he knows that, but he really doesn’t want to do any of that shit.  _ It could be worse, she hasn’t even told you what she wants yet.  _

Angel Kiri is just as annoying as his life size version. And where is the mini devil to try and convince him otherwise?  _ You are the devil.  _ Talk about rudeness. Bakugou brushes the annoying figment off his shoulder and looks up just in time to see Camie walking towards him. What on earth did he do to deserve this? Has she come here to gloat about whoever she’s sleeping with now since it isn’t him?  _ ‘Walk the other way, walk the other way, walk the-‘ _

“Heyyy Bakubabe, what’s good?” She laughs, greeting him all cheerily as if nothing bad ever happened between them. 

_ ‘Fuck me.’  _ He gripes in his head. “What the fuck do you want?” He snips at her, arms crossed and scowl firmly in place to let her know that he’s not dealing with her shit today or any other day. 

Camie chuckles, holding her hands up in surrender. “Relax yo, just saw you vibin’ over here and thought I’d say hey.” 

“Bye.” He snorts. 

She laughs again as if he’s joking with her, pushing fawn colored hair behind her ear and taking a seat right next to him. Bakugou stares at her, the minuscule space between them, and the rest of the open bench. All this space and she had to sit right next to him? “Are you still with that one chick? Hanako or something right?” 

“And if I am?” 

“Nothing nothing, just wonderin’. I mean if you’re not then we should chill again ya know? Unless you’re still having that tantrum or whatevs.” 

“It ain’t a tantrum and I don’t wanna be seen with you.” He states matter of factly. “Already wasted enough time on you. And money you asshole, you owe me hundreds for all the shit I bought you.” 

“Damn son, you’re acting really outta pocket right now. Usually that means you’re not getting laid or the sex ain’t good. Guess Hanako isn’t quite up to par.” She smirks. Bakugou cackles uncontrollably at her from his spot. Holy shit he never knew she was  _ such _ a comedian. He’ll hand it to her, he was pussy whipped when he was with her, but when he started screwing with other people he also started to realize that she wasn’t all that great.

“First of all bitch, her name is Toga Himiko and you know this, petty doesn’t look good on you. Second, my little looney toon is perfect compared to you, not all washed up and used. Doesn’t fuck anything that breathes and has money in its wallet.” 

Camie blinks at him with her doe eyes not quite certain how to proceed from there. Usually when he trash talks her he follows up with some desperate apology to get back into her good graces, but this time he follows up with nothing. He sounds so firm and resolute in his decision to have nothing to do with her and she doesn’t like the way that feels. There’s just something about having someone hang on your every thread that makes you feel amazing. Knowing that whatever you do, whatever you say, that person will always be there ready to forgive you and ready to jump high for you. It’s like having a safety net and her safety net just withered away. 

Now he’s netting for someone else, some freak that writes cheesy love fics and paints her face in blood. That’s...improbable. There is no way that Toga Himiko is better than she is. What does that freak do that Camie doesn’t do because Camie does it all! 

She’s about to turn on her charm, work her way back to the front of his heart because there’s no way she’s been replaced completely. She’s about to completely win him back over for herself when surprise surprise  _ Hanako _ shows up and oh how awful does she look. Half green monster thing and half human but not even herself with a raven wig on her head. How is this the girl he’s choosing over her? 

“Sorry I’m late Katsuki, I...ran...into Akira-kun…Utsushimi.” Her voice trails off as she acknowledges Camie’s presence there and a sly smirk slips onto the light brown haired woman’s face. Does this girl think about her? Does she agonize over how much time she’s spent with Bakugou? 

“Hanako-chan, how nice to finally formerly meet you.” She smiles, waving cutely at the other woman. 

Bakugou scowls at her and stands up, ruffling the other woman’s hair and planting a kiss on her crown. “Ignore her, we’re leaving.” 

“Oh where are you going?” Camie asks, perking up? He ignores her in favor of ushering the faux raven away with him. “S’fine,” she chuckles, leaning back against the bench, “I’ll hit you up tonight, yeah? Wait on me.” 

“Fuck off!” He shouts over his shoulder. Camie snorts softly, watching them and loving how Himiko repeatedly looks back over her shoulder and then up at Bakugou. She’s shaken, scared, probably feels like she’s not being let in on a bigger secret, but it’s no secret really. Bakugou Katsuki has always belonged to Camie and she let him have his little fun, but it’s time for him to come back home now.

* * *

“What are you wearing?” Bakugou asks once they’ve gotten far enough away from  _ her.  _ Is that really what he wants to say first? After she caught him red handed with someone else? She doesn’t know what they were doing or talking about, but just the fact that they were  _ together _ and in public? It’s embarrassing to her and hurtful. 

“Katsuki...are you and..Camie s-“

“Stop.” He interrupts. His stride comes to a halt as well and Toga stops by his side, staring and waiting for him to clear this up for her, just tell her he’s over Camie and that she has nothing to worry about. “Camie and I are done.” She breathes a breath of relief. “She’s just trying to get under your skin.” 

“So you don’t have feelings for her still?” She questions just to be sure. 

Bakugou sighs and tilts his head, beckoning her closer to him. She takes a hasty step, fully ready to hear whatever he has to say. Instead of saying anything however, he leans down and kisses her...in front of everyone. Is this their first public kiss? She thinks it is. She loves it, she loves how publicly he’s able to care for her. She smiles into their kiss, laughing breathlessly and nuzzles their noses together before he pulls back. “You’re my girl Toga. I haven’t been the greatest boyfriend to you, despite what you may think...but your poem...daydream, it made me realize that I owe you a little more than I’ve been giving.”

“That’s why I called you here to meet me. We’re gonna spend the entire day doing what you want, whatever it is...hopefully nothing too embarrassing.” 

Himiko gasps lightly, tilting her head to the side. Whatever she wants to do? An entire day? With  _ her  _ Katsuki? Oh she could scream right now, she could bust out some fancy new dance moves and tackle him to the ground in excitement. Instead like always her tear ducts are acting up and causing tears to flow down her cheeks. They’re happy tears, she’s so happy right now. 

“Why are you crying dumbass?” He huffs. 

“Oh Katsuki, you could’ve asked me to marry you and gotten the same reaction!” She sniffles, wiping away at her tears. “Well, I probably wouldn’t have contained myself this well, but I still would’ve cried! Wait, what about class?” 

“My last class for the day has been cancelled, you skip all the time anyways.” 

“Oh my gosh this is so perfect!” She squeals, bouncing around in her spot. “Ugh I can’t wait! Can we go!? Can we go now?!” 

“Relax loon, we’ll go just as you take all that shit off your face and get that wig off your head. Are you even going to tell me what that’s about?” 

Oh right, her look. “I’m part monster, hear me roar!” She growls baring her teeth at him and flexing her claws. It’s a look for her new video and the other half..well she‘s trying her hand on normal disguises. She plans to make her first attempt at gaining entrance to the Yakuza headquarters and she needs to look completely different from how she does now hence the wig and makeup. Every time she thinks about it though she gets queasy. 

Once she’s all washed up and back to her regular self she has already come up with a billion and one things to do with her lover. But there’s one thing in particular that she has truly always wanted to do to him, one of her wildest fantasies, and today will be the day she does it. She has to work up to it though, can’t just jump into something like that. 

Instead of taking the bus everywhere, Katsuki tosses her his car keys and, with a very stern warning, gives her permission to drive them around today. She honestly didn’t know he had a car, if anything he probably only uses it for downtown trips or whenever he doesn’t feel like being sandwiched on public transportation. 

It’s a sleek and black two door sports car, because what else would he drive, a minivan? Toga has her license so she knows  _ how  _ to drive, but the main reason she doesn’t have a car of her own, aside from always spending her money, is because she’s not good at it. But she doesn’t want to wreck his car and piss him off ruining their day so she makes sure to be as careful as possible and only rev the engine occasionally. 

First on her list, like always, milkshakes. Toga can’t have her good day without her pomegranate shake. He thinks it’s fucking gross and has no idea who came up with the bright idea of putting pomegranates in a damn milkshake, but she thinks he’s just crazy. The tarty sweetness mixed with the creamy smooth taste of ice cream and milk, so yummy. 

The next thing on her list of things to do is to go to Cage, a seafood place next to the beach. It’s like their first real date together and it’s perfect. Katsuki has a passion for spicy foods so he orders the spiciest sauce he can for his crab legs and shrimp and shares it with her. Then he laughs at her when she freaks out and goes red in the face from the burning sensation in her mouth. She’ll stick to her mild things thank you very much. 

She knows that Katsuki isn’t the kind of person to willingly open up to people about his life and his family, but they’re together and these are the kinds of things they should know about each other. So she delves yet again making sure not to stick her foot in her mouth by rambling about her father. 

Thankfully he’s not an abused child like Dabi was. He and his mother have their spats and she never hesitates to smack him upside the head, but she’s just a disciplinary and he’s not harboring hatred over it. 

His father is a complete push over, the laid back parent in the duo. He doesn’t like to yell, he doesn’t like to argue, he prefers soothing conversations and a more gentle approach to parenting and life as a whole. Katsuki inherited not a damn thing from this man personality wise. 

“So that shit that the dead girl said about your dad, you think she was right?” He questions. 

Himiko sighs softly. She has no idea how to accurately describe her relationship with her father. It’s rocky, it’s good, it could be better, but it’s fine because it could also be worse. “I was always the weird kid.” She shrugs. “My dad...he just had his own ideas of what his kids should be like when they were born.” 

“And you don’t fit the mold?” 

“Not in the slightest.” She smiles. “He always says that if I don’t straighten up he’ll cut me off financially, but he hasn’t done it yet.” They table the parental conversation, it’s boring and it always gives her conflicted feelings. It’s time to move on to something more exciting, shopping. But not just any shopping, lingerie shopping. 

Himiko is on a search for something that will make her man blush at the sight of it on her. This is also the perfect set up to get him right where she needs him for what she really wants. The thrilling and scanty lingerie will pair well with a few new trinkets and toys. “Why do you need those? Am I not enough for you?” 

“Oh ‘Suki, don’t be like that. Have you never used toys before? You do me good baby, but these just add to the excitement!” She squeals. She holds the box up to him so he can see the dildo clearly. It’s thick and long, a hot pink color, complete with a lovely matching harness. He’s noticed the harness, but her point is going clear over his head, or he’s just blatantly ignoring what she’s getting at here. “You did me, why can’t I do you?” She questions. 

“That’s not the same thing.” He protests.

“How so? I’m pretty sure my ass was never really meant to have your dick in it, but it did. So why can’t yours take mines?” 

“First, it’s not your dick an-

“It is if I buy it.” She cuts in earning a glare from him. 

“You know what I mean Toga.” He grinds out. 

“I don’t know what you mean Katsuki.” She sighs. “Are you saying if I was born with a penis you would let me fuck you?” His cheeks are definitely on fire now and he’s flustered and frustrated. Poor baby is just nervous. Toga tucks the box under her arm and cups his cheeks in her hands cooing at him. “It’s okay baby, I would never hurt you and if you really don’t want to then we won’t... but I just felt like it would be fun. I would try anything you wanted to try and you said today was about doing what I wanted.”

“You’re not gonna guilt trip into doing this.”

“I’m not trying to.” She says quickly. “I’m just trying to explain. Please Katsuki, let’s at least just try it once and I promise if you don’t like it we’ll stop. I’d never tell anyone either if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“And what the fuck do I get out of this?” He asks, quirking a brow at her. 

“Anything you want obviously. There’s plenty of toys here for you to use on me, whips, cuffs, vibrators.” She giggles merrily, her toes curling in her shoes. She leans up on her toes, her teeth gently nibbling on his earlobe. “Just think about it,” she breathes, “I know how good it feels to be stretched, having a nice fat cock stroking me, pounding against my spot, making my legs tremble, pushing me over the edge.” She kisses a throbbing pulse in his neck. “I just wanna make you explode baby. Oh you would cum so hard for me.” 

Toga presses her body against his and grins at the feel of his bulge pressing against her stomach. His free hand comes up to grab a handful of her ass, squeezing and pressing against her more. “You have any me to fuck you in front of all these people don’t you? That's why you’re trying to rile me up, huh?” 

She bites down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. “Katsu..” she whimpers in her ear. The idea sounds fantastic, being thrown to the ground and ravaged in public, but she doesn’t want to get arrested for indecent exposure and banned from this place. “Restraint baby. We’ll have plenty of playtime tonight.” She tells him. 

“You’re such a fucking tease.” He growls at her. “Just begging me to punish you.” 

“Mmm I’ve been a naughty girl, haven’t I?” She chuckles softly. She pulls back just enough to look at his eyes. They’re on fire, a storm brewing, lustful and heated. Her tongue sticks out a little and she licks his lips before giving him a chaste kiss and pulling away from him altogether. “Patience.” She smirks. “Now...are we doing this or not?”

* * *

Oh god he’s doing this. He has no idea why he agreed, this goes far beyond the realm of just trying to be a good boyfriend to her and he should have said no, but dammit the way she acted in that store and the things she promised had him thinking more with his dick instead of his head. 

He never imagined himself venturing into a sex shop and buying the shit he bought today, but he’s already come this far and he doesn’t want to back out now. One because he isn’t a little bitch and two because he fully intends to use those toys to push Toga so far over the edge that she doesn’t speak straight for days. 

She gets to go first, get the hard part out of the way and then it’ll be his turn. He has no idea how he wants to do this. He feels like if he lays down on his back then he’s the bitch here and if he goes on his hands and knees…well he just doesn’t want to do that, but he for damn sure isn’t going to bend over and take it so doggy style it is. 

He’s on his bed, head resting on a pillow, ass in the air and trying to keep his cool while Toga strokes his back gently trying to calm him. She’s cooing at him about how much of a good boy he is and how pretty he looks like this. He really wishes she would just get over it so he barks at her to get a move on before he changes his mind. 

She giggles, she’s always damn giggling. “We can’t rush this Katsu. It’s your first time, I want it to be special for you.” When she leans over him he can feel that plastic dick rubbing against him and his body tenses. She trails soft kisses along his spine, all the way down his back and her small hands palm the flesh of his ass. She rubs circles over his flesh and he bites down on his knuckles when he feels her part his cheeks and crudely spit on him. It’s ironic because it’s the same thing he did to her and he certainly didn’t find it crude when he did it. 

Her finger prods against his virgin entrance, pushing gently inside him and he tries not to inch away from the intrusion. “There, there handsome.” She whispers. “It’s not so bad is it?” No, not that awful, he decides. It’s just one finger, she has small hands, thin fingers, he can handle this. 

She’s humming some song to herself while her finger moves inside him, slowly thrusting. Her other massages his side, rubbing circles into his hips gingerly. “I’m gonna add another finger now, okay?” He nods his head, taking deep breaths and letting his body relax. He appreciates how much care and consideration she’s showing for him, unlike he showed her. Knowing how wild and crazy Toga can get in bed he expected her to just shove it in and ruin him, but she’s doing the exact opposite and he owes her a lot of gratitude for it. 

He feels another finger inside him, thrusting along the first one, probing his insides and scissoring him open and he lets out a soft moan at the feel. It’s not horrible, it actually feels kind of good, good enough that his cock is starting to get stiff. She’s knuckle deep in his ass and he inwardly wishes that her fingers were a little longer, thicker, fuck what is happening to him? 

“Are you okay?” She asks and he nods quickly.

“Yeah.” He breathes out. 

“Okay enough to move on?” He doesn’t even hesitate before he consents. If her fingers feel this good, he can only imagine how nice her cock is going to feel. Himiko kisses the small of his back once before pulling his fingers out of him and moving to grab the lube. He can hear her squirting it into her hands and feel it’s icy coolness being spread over him. He wants to look back, but he keeps his eyes forward, trying to focus on staying relaxed. 

“Breathe.” She instructs him as she lines him up. “Don’t clench or it’ll hurt more.” 

“How many times have you done this?” He asks with the slightest twinge of jealousy in his voice. Hours ago he wouldn’t have given a fuck who she’s pegged, but now he feels compelled to know that he’s the only one she’s comfortable enough doing this with. 

“Mmm just relax honey. It’s you and I now. Nobody else matters Katsuki.” He bites his tongue, he’ll get to the bottom of this later. He inhales sharply at the first push, the stretch and the burn making him curse under his breath. He starts to move his hand to his cock but is stopped when something smacks across his ass leaving a sting. His head whips around and she’s grinning at him, whip in hand and a glint of mischievous delight in her eyes. When the fuck did she grab that? That’s supposed to be for him to use on her. “No no no, no touching yourself just yet. I’m in charge now okay? I promise I’m gonna make you feel...so...good.” She promises, inching her dick into him more and more. 

He screws his eyes shut, clenching his jaw as he’s stretched more. “Fuck.” He hisses, panting heavily. Katsuki is not a submissive person, but the way she’s controlling him makes him think he wouldn’t mind being dominated every once in a while. It’s sexy, a turn on for him. His little dominatrix. His back arches for her as she continues sliding into him. 

“Ohhh that’s it.” She moans as she buries herself to the hilt inside him. “Feels good yeah?”

“Yeah.” He agrees, licking his lips. “Feel a lot better if you moved.” He adds, grunting. 

“Aww look at that, my baby’s so eager to get his ass plowed. I knew you’d like it.” He feels her pull out a little, before pushing back in. “I wish you could see it,” she whispers breathlessly, grinding into him slowly. “How good my cock looks fucking your ass.” 

She pulls back out and this time when she pushes in it’s harder, he cries out louder than he intended, but it can’t be helped. She’s just hit his prostate head on and god it felt so fucking good. He has no idea where Kirishima is, but he really hopes he’s not in the dorm. His hips rock back into her, wanting to feel more, wanting to feel that same bout of pleasure he just experienced. “You’re such a greedy little slut aren’t you?” She moans out, speeding up her thrusts. 

His mouth falls open, moans spilling out, his hands carding in his hair. She whips him again when he fails to respond to her and his cock twitches, “yeah, f-fuck yes.” 

“Yes what?” 

“I..I’m a greedy little…slut.” He whispers. She whips again and he whines like a sick little bitch in heat. 

“Louder, I can’t hear you baby. You want me to fuck you right? Just tell me what I wanna hear.” 

“Fuck! A slut dammit, I’m a greedy little slut, now fuck me harder.” 

She whips him again and his hands clench in the sheets, “who’s slut are you?”

“Yours.” He gasps, “H-Himiko’s.”  _ ‘Lord please don’t let shitty hair be in here.’  _

Whip abandoned, Toga grabs his hips, dragging him back against her while she rails him hard and fast. He can’t believe how loud he is, he can’t believe how good this feels and how much he’s enjoying it. So much so that he reaches back to put a hand on her as if trying to force her deeper inside him. “Ohhh fuck.” He groans. His cock is weeping and begging for attention and she wants him to beg for it and beg he does. Shamelessly desperate for her touch, for more sensational pleasures.

“You’re such a good boy baby.” She moans. “Fuck you look so good taking my cock like this. Such a perfect fucking ass.” 

“Please, fuck please. Touch my dick.” He would literally do anything she asked right now. Himiko leans over him, sinking her teeth into his shoulder and finally her hand wraps around his length, stroking and pumping him while she continues to hit his prostate at the perfect angle. He feels tears, he feels his orgasm coming, racking his body stronger than he’s used to. 

“Cum ‘Suki.” She coaxes him. “It’s okay baby, let go.” She doesn’t have to tell him twice before he, as she put it, explodes in her hand. Thick ropes of hot cum shooting from his member as she continues fucking him through it. His eyesight feels blurry and there’s static in his ears as his head swims. He hardly even realizes what he’s doing when she sticks her fingers in his mouth, but that’s his cum he’s tasting. A little salty but mostly sweet. He sucks willingly on her fingers, licking them clean because he’s already come this far so why the hell not? 

She kisses him when he’s finished, tasting his remnants on his tongue and when she pulls out he feels empty and even a little sad. “You did so good baby.” She breathes, before ravaging his mouth with her tongue. These are not the kind of praises he ever expected to enjoy but he is absolutely thrilled with her pride in him. He collapses next to her on the bed, trying to recover from whatever the fuck that was. The bed dips as Toga stands up, relieving herself of her strap and he rolls over to watch her. Her pussy is glistening with slick and just the sight of it brings him back to life. Now he’s thinking about everything he’s going to do to her and his palms are itching with anticipation. 

She smiles innocently at him, covering her mouth with her hands and a bright shade of blush on her cheeks. “I told you you’d like it.” She teases, rocking back and forth on her heels. 

He chuckles breathlessly at her and sits up. “Shut up, you had your turn and it’s mine now. Lay down, spread your legs.” He tells her. She moves happily, crawling back onto the bed and flipping herself over to her back, legs spread invitingly. Bakugou grabs the vibrator and a butt plug and kneels in front of her wasting no time before ducking down to lap away at her juices. 

He uses the vibrator on her clit and stuffs her pretty little asshole with the plug, fingering her wet hole. It doesn’t take her long to cum like that, stuffed, teased, licked all over and fingered. The minute his cock slides inside her, he knows he’s not going to last long before he cums again. Her legs are folded back and his lips crushed against hers while he assaults her insides quickly, needily. She moans into his mouth, her nails raking his shoulders. He breaks their kiss so he can breathe, pressing his forehead against hers as her walls clamp around him. “Ugh fuck I’m gonna cum.” He growls.

“Inside, cum inside me, I want it!” Both their eyes travel downwards to watch their bodies come together and his hips stutter before stilling deep inside her and he spills his second load inside her quivering walls that milk him for all he’s worth. Toga kisses his cheeks, his jaw anyplace on his face that her lips can reach. He’s spent, this whole thing has been such a blissful experience for him. The feel of being fucked, the feeling of fucking her, his cock dragging along the feel of the plug in her ass mixed with the velvety slickness of her pussy. He isn’t ready for it to end here yet, he just needs a break, a breather and then he’s going to continue this escapade of theirs. And luckily for him his girl is down for anything. If it weren’t for that poem, he would have never had this realization that he needs to do better. He would have never put forth the effort to try to do something good for her and it would have never led them to this. 

He’s been such an asshole, conniving and vindictive towards her because of his grudge against someone else. Someone who would have never treated him the way she does, someone who would have never made him feel this good. “I love you so much Katsuki.” She tells him. 

“Yeah, yeah I love you too Himi.” He doesn’t actually mean that, he could someday, but just not today, but he tells her because they’re so good right now that he doesn’t want to ruin anything. He could love her, maybe even someday soon. 

She’s pretty, uniquely beautiful with her strange features. She has a big heart and she’s not afraid to give her entire being for his happiness. He doesn’t have to treat her like shit to get the utmost best from her. As the minutes go by it’s getting harder and harder for him to believe that he really tried to ruin something that could be great. He’s been waiting and hoping, wishing for so long for someone like her. Someone that would give him the affection, the praise, and the warmth that he so desperately craved from someone else. And he has it right here with her and at this point, he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure that he doesn’t fuck this up any further than he already has.


	10. Author’s Note

Hello everyone,

Firstly allow me to apologize to anyone who may be subscribed and following along that thinks this is the chapter update you are all waiting for. I don’t want to get your hopes up, however I felt like I needed to address the progression of the story so you all don’t think I dropped it.   
  


As some of you know from interacting with me in the comments my family had to move out of our house back in October. The eviction notice came very out of the blue and last minute so we just hastily threw a plan together and moved across country. I’ve been trying to get some writing done and make updates for you guys, but living in a cramped hotel room for a month and a half does not make for optimal writing space.   
  


We have in fact finally moved into our new home however we’ve been waiting almost two weeks now for our furniture to be delivered and nobody is telling us anything 🤷🏾‍♀️ Usually when I write I have the comfort of my desk a cozy weighted blanket and background noise to help me stay in my zone but right now I don’t have any of that and writing is just very hard for me to do and honestly even though I’m extremely grateful and happy to have a home, the lack of all my things and not knowing where they are is making me very depressed.   
  


So while I’m most certainly NOT abandoning my stories I just wanted to update you guys and let you know it may be a few more weeks before I’m able to get back to doing what I love.   
  


Thank you so much to everyone who is commenting, to everyone giving kudos and subscribing! The messages and interactions make me feel so much better and I’m sorry again that this isn’t a new chapter, but hopefully you all stick around with me for a little bit longer. I love you all so much and I hope you continue staying safe and being healthy. 


	11. Intruder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y’all already know Bakugou is still on his bullshit. Toga gets into trouble and makes big decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring to you...a wild fucking ride. 
> 
> Before you all read I just want to give everyone a major thank you and a big fat I love you. Seriously guys, thank you so much for sticking by me and supporting me during this stressful time in my life! 
> 
> Even though I wasn’t posting, I have been planning and thinking and I have some announcements. Good announcements, I promise! 
> 
> So first, I was wondering who all out there would be interested in a playlist for this story? That way you could listen to some tunes as you read and also it helps to visualize better and really feel the emotions being portrayed. If you are interested in the playlist lemme know in the comments! It’s currently only available on Apple Music because I don’t have Spotify, but if enough people are interested I would be opening to posting it there as well. 
> 
> Secondly, the final chapter of Cosmic Attraction has been completed. I know exactly how this story will end and I am very happy with the work and excited for you guys to see it. With that being said, we are not approaching the end juuuust yet, we have at least four/five more chapters to go depending on the pacing. With that also being said, there WILL be a sequel to this story once it’s finished so don’t think the end is truly the end! 
> 
> Now, let’s get on with it shall we?

Bakugou smirks, chuckling somewhere deep in his chest with a feeling of victory as he rocks back and forth on his feet, putting pressure on his ankles. His arms raise as he starts doing jumping jacks and progresses into lunges. It feels amazing as fuck to not have to rely on those damned crutches anymore. It’s only been a few days, but the last few days have felt a lot better than these last few months. 

Being off the crutches now means that he won’t have to spend his spring break and his subsequent birthday hobbling around everywhere. He’ll be able to move faster to avoid whatever shit his mother is throwing at him and well he would be pleased about the ability to party, but this year is a little different. This year he’s bringing a girl home,  _ his  _ girl. He won’t be able to go out, get drunk and hookup with randoms this year. And truthfully, he’s not too butthurt about it. 

He is warming up to Himiko. She’s growing on him a little more everyday and it’s not bothering him as much as he thought it would. He figures that this is just what it’s like to be with someone who appreciates and loves him for everything he is instead of what he does for them. Someone the complete opposite of she who shall not be named. 

He hasn’t told Himiko that he’s bringing her yet, he wants it to be a surprise. It’s not like she’s thrilled about going to her own family home so this will be a great gift to her. The gift of the chaotic mess that is the Bakugou family. His father won’t be a horrible issue, he’s always been a quiet and easygoing man. His wench mother on the other hand, ugh. The initial thought of her and Himiko in the same room was almost enough for him to change his mind, but no, he wants this. He has to make sure that she’s the perfect fit to his family. 

“Yo, lookin’ good bro.” Kirishima smiles as he approaches with Kaminari, both sweaty and smelly from the finished practice. “It’ll be nice to have you on the field again instead of the sidelines.” 

“Yeah, well, I could’ve been on the field today, but if I have to play it safe then I guess I’ll play it safe.” He grumbles back in response. Personally, he believes he could’ve been on the field practicing with the others today, but his coach would prefer to wait until after Spring Break just to make sure he’s a thousand percent. He  _ is  _ the best player there so he figures he can be a little understanding. 

“Man, are you still planning to go home for break?” The other blonde whines. “I still think you and Toga should road trip with us to the beach.” 

“Fuck you and fuck the beach. Why would I wanna take her to the beach where a bunch of extras can ogle her?” He scoffs, grimacing at the other male. Just the idea of some loser checking  _ his  _ property out in a bikini makes him tense with frustration. It’s a his eyes only kind of thing, reserved for Bakugou Katsuki and nobody else. He could never realistically take her to the beach! 

Kirishima rolled his own set of red eyes but declined to make any further comments on the chaotic mess that was Bakugou and Toga’s relationship. The way he saw it now, Bakugou was at least making an effort and he couldn’t expect him to change completely over night. At least she seemed happier. 

“Eh, we’ve still got the summer to look forward to. If you guys are still together that is.” Kaminari shrugs. That comment makes Bakugou’s face pinch into more of a frown than normal. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” He questions. 

“Uh..I don’t know..” Denki shrugs again, “I guess I was just saying that you never know?” 

“Never know what idiot? I didn’t plan on breaking up with her this summer.” 

“Yeah okay, I..my bad man.” The amber eyed male apologized, holding his hands up in surrender. “You guys are gonna be together forever I guess.” 

...forever? Like forever ever? And ever? His frown deepens more. He didn’t say that either. He doesn’t know what his future entails, but why the hell is this idiot putting so much thought into a relationship that has nothing to do with him? 

“Hey Denki, don’t you have a project or something to work on? An essay? An assignment?” Kirishima questioned trying to direct the subject into a less dangerous direction. 

“No? Yes? Man I’m so behind, all I’ve been thinking about is Spring Break dude!” 

Bakugou snorts and rolls his eyes. He’s gonna consider his workout done now that the idiot has ruined his mood.

He and the redhead depart from Denki and begin to make their way back to their dorm. The whole time he’s trying not to think about any of Kaminari’s stupid comments, but he has a terrible habit of fixating on things and now he can’t get it off his mind. 

What would forever look like for them? Could he really handle all of that? He’s positive that Toga would probably and has probably thought about a forever future for them, but would he be okay with it? 

They could get married after they graduated...possibly. And a little on down the line,  _ maybe _ , they could have a kid or two?  _ If  _ he chose that route. But maybe he wouldn’t want kids because having kids would take his focus away from his profession….but then again…the mental image of Himiko walking around his home barefoot and pregnant with his kid stirs something inside him. She would look beautiful carrying a piece of him inside her. The dark, possessive parts of him are thrilled about the idea of putting a baby in her womb. It’s the ultimate mark for him. Even if some unnatural and far out of left field thing like her leaving him happens, she would be bound to him forever and know for the rest of her life that-  _ ‘stop. Stop thinking like that.’ _

There are to be no more deranged and toxic thoughts like that. He’s not going to be that kind of boyfriend anymore. She deserves better than that. He doesn’t have to own everything and everyone. 

“Hey man, you good?” He hears Kimirishima ask as they exit the elevator to their floor. 

“Fine.” He mutters out. “Is Mina going on your spring break trip?” 

“Nah, she wanted to have a girls trip with some of the chicks so she’s gonna do that.” He smiled. 

“A girls trip?” He echoes. He ruined all of Himiko’s friendships so..she can’t take any girl trips, but if she had the option to, would she choose them over him? It seems like the answer should be obvious since she already chose him over them once...but if she had the choice…

“Yeah, her, Yaomomo, Ochako, Tsuyu, and Jirou are renting a vacation house. They’ve been planning it for months and she’s super pumped about it. I was a little bummed at first, but she just seems so happy and she deserves the break. She’s been working so hard this semester.” 

He sounds so...what’s the word? Nice? Generous? No, not those. He doesn’t know what to call it, but something about the way Kirishima talks and thinks about his relationship versus the way he talks and thinks about his own relationship rubs him raw. The whole concept just seems so much easier for his friend. As if he and Mina don’t have nearly as many issues as he and Himiko.

_ ‘They’ve been together for years. Of course they’ve ironed it to be smooth.’  _ He thinks. Eventually he and Himiko will be that way too. But when? 

As a matter of fact, when did he get like this? So confused? He used to have very clear intentions, he used to know exactly what he wanted to happen, how he wanted it to happen, and when, but now he’s suddenly being hit with thoughts of worry and doubt. Questioning everything he’s doing. He thought that making a conscious decision to be better would just solve everything, but it seems to have raised a guard within him. Like, what if he’s doing his best to be better and then she gets too comfortable and stops being her best? What if his good deeds and efforts end with him being used and thrown away again? 

He tries to tell himself that this is an irrational train of thought. It makes no sense and it has no basis. She  _ likes  _ him like this. Being good to her. She wouldn’t leave him just when he starts to do good. It’s obviously Kaminari’s fault for bringing up futures and shit. 

As he expected, Himiko is in his room when he enters. She’s got her back to him, in the middle of packing, trying to stuff a few of his shirts into the bottom of her bag. He leans against the doorway, watching the little thief with slight amusement. “I better get those shirts back.” He drawls with a smirk on his face. 

She squeaks, jumping slightly at being caught red handed and peers at him over her shoulder. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She lies, feigning innocence. His smirk widens and he feels some of his earlier tension roll off his body. They’re good, they’re fine, he’s just being paranoid. 

“Sure you don’t.” He continues, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. “Your parents expecting you anytime soon?” 

Her face falls into a bored expression, dramatically sighing and putting on her theatrics. “Ugh, my dad has been calling me all day to make sure I’m still coming home like he wants. This is going to be the lamest spring break ever!” 

“Eh, it doesn’t have to be.” He mentions casually, feeling his smug pride rise in his chest. 

Toga stands up and skips the short distance to him, throwing herself against his body with a wide smile on her face. Her lips meet his cheek for a quick peck and then she buries her face against his neck. “Thanks for the positivity babe, but you’ve never met my family. You have no idea how boring they are. So many rules, so many chores, so much whining!” 

“How about you blow them off then? Come home with me...meet my family.” Her body goes stock still against him and he’s waiting so patiently for her to burst into hysterics and excitement. Meeting his family? It’s gotta be like an invitation to the red carpet for her. 

Slowly she pulls away so she can stare directly into his red eyes. Her gold ones scanning his face for any sign of joking and tricks and finding nothing of the sort. “I... oh my gosh...Katsuki. I always dreamed of the day that you would invite me home and I can’t believe it’s finally happening! Ahhh!!” She screams, kicking her legs merrily.

He chuckles softly as he watches her live out her happiness, bouncing up and down on the floor and practicing her greeting to his parents. This is obviously much better for her than some stupid beach trip. “Holy shit what should I wear? A skirt? A dress? Are we thinking knee length, ankle length? How conservative are your parents?!” 

“Relax looney bin,” he tells her with a roll of his eyes. “They’re not conservative, but I mean..don’t show up with your ass out.” 

“Well shit, now I have to go shopping!” She exclaims panicked at her apparent lack of ass covering clothes. “When are we leaving?!” 

“Tomorrow morning, bright and early so you’re going to bed early tonight so I don’t have to hear you whining about how tired you are tomorrow.” He tells her. The excitement slowly vanishes from her face and she groans a little. “You can sleep on the way, don’t cry about it.” 

“N-no no. It’s not that, it’s just uh...well I wasn’t going to my parents house until Wednesday.” She says quietly. 

Okay? “Your point being?” He asks, raising his brows. 

Himiko hesitates, licking her lips and tucking some hair behind her ear. “Well I kind of had some...things I needed to do before I left which is why I was waiting to go to my parents and they’re really  _ really  _ important things so I-“

“Important things? Like...more important than meeting my family? More important than me?” He asks her in a low tone. He’s trying not to get upset, allow her to explain herself, but just know this isn’t what he expected or what he wanted. 

“Of course not Katsuki! Nothing is more important to me than you and meeting your family, but I really and I mean  _ really  _ have to do this thing!” 

His tongue slips between his teeth and he bites down hard to prevent himself from saying something thoughtless. “What... _ thing _ do you have to do?” 

“I can't tell you, it’s a secret.” She practically whispers. He chuckles dry, scratching the back of his head. 

“So we keep secrets now?” He questions. His foot begins to tap the floor rapidly and his jaw is clenching. Maybe he wasn’t being paranoid after all. She’s clearly rejecting him right now. Putting something else, maybe  _ someone  _ else above and before him. 

He can tell by the way that she shifts back and forth in her spot, the way she keeps averting her eyes, she  _ knows  _ she’s being a bit of a bitch right now. He also knows however that if she says anything about it suddenly he’ll be the bad guy. She’ll start crying and playing the victim card again and it hears him up inside because how dare she do that when he’s trying to do something for her. 

“Don’t be mad at me please.” She whispers. “I promise I’ll come, I just have to take care of this one thing. Then I’ll be all yours.” 

_ Then  _ she’ll be all his? She’s  _ already his.  _ The devil in him is screaming to start a fight, yell at her and tell her that she doesn’t actually have an option to opt out of coming, but the angel Kirishima on his shoulder is chiding him for thinking that way. So instead he just takes a deep breath in and exhales very slowly. “Fine.” He growls. “You go do your little thing... _ maybe  _ I’ll see you later.”

Himiko sighs at him, moving to place her hands on his shoulders but he seats them away and stands abruptly. “Don’t...touch me right now. I’m gonna go for a walk.” He ignores her when she begs him to stay and talk to her about it, but there’s nothing to talk about. She’s made her decision and she didn’t choose him.

* * *

Himiko felt very cold when she woke up this morning. Katsuki was leaving. He didn’t even say bye to her, refusing to let her kiss him when she tried. He’s very angry and she feels a little guilty about it, but there’s nothing she can do. She has to get Dabi off her back so she can move on with the rest of her life. 

The asshole was getting impatient, waiting for her to figure out a way to infiltrate the Yakuza hideout. His brain must be fried if he thought it was as easy a task as he made it sound. His little maid service idea just sounded worse and worse the more she thought about it. She’s never been the cleanest person, Bakugou is always harping on her about leaving her shit laying around so there’s no way she can pass as a maid. 

Planning has never been a strong suit of hers no matter how hard she tries so out of desperation and a loss for what else to do she came up with a half cracked idea that may just get her killed if she fucks up. 

Dabi mentioned to her the hatred that Shigaraki and Chisaki have for each other and every time she’s in their presence she gets to feel that hatred first hand when the shit talking starts. So, being the little sneak she is, she decided why not just pit the two against each other sooner rather than later? If Dabi doesn’t care about his friends getting arrested and thrown in jail, why should she care? They aren’t her friends, just people who kidnap her after work and make her do illegal shit for them. 

It’s one big game of manipulation and she’s just tired of being on the receiving end of it all so she has become the manipulator. It started with subtle pushes, a gentle questioning to Shigaraki about why he hasn’t tried to put an end to Chisaki yet if he views him as a threat. She didn’t go as far to blatantly ask him, ‘are you scared?’ She wasn’t trying to get hurt herself, but the implication of that question was there and Shigaraki, like any man, found his ego and pride being challenged. Challenged enough to start plotting against the Precepts. 

He didn’t trust her enough to be let in on these plans, but Dabi made sure to relay it all to her. Once he relayed this to her she started working on finding a way to draw out the big bad Yakuza boys and get them to the battlefield to ruin the League’s ambush. But how do you make contact with someone without physically making contact? You add another middle man and get them to do it for you. All those in between clients of the two parties. It's already her job to chase them down and haggle them for money which makes for the perfect opportunity to whisper in their ear and make deals. They go to Chisaki’s dealers and plant bugs that Shigaraki is planning something and rile up that party and for their reward Toga will allow them to steal whatever they can get their grubby hands on during the raid of the Yakuza hideout. Whatever she can get her own hands on will go to Dabi and atone the rest of her ridiculous debt. He’ll be his own free king and she will never have to deal with him again. 

She’s done herself up real good for the raid. A short, choppy black wig. Some brown contacts, loads of makeup, faux freckles, some faux braces she found on Amazon. She didn’t even know those things existed but she wanted to make absolutely sure that there is no possible way she could be recognized, not even by the addicts she tipped off to meet there. 

_ Dabi: I just left the League, they expect nothing, are you in position?  _

Her eyes read over Dabi’s text repeatedly, her heart pounding in her chest. This is it. This is her one and only chance to get it done or she will just have to move and change her name and drag Katsuki along with her. 

She’s been lazing on a bench in the fancy ass neighborhood park waiting for his signal. Some of her fellow delinquents have already arrived, hoods up, not looking sketchy at all. Their hands are itching to get in there and rob. It’s like they have no fear of getting caught at all. 

_ I’m ready. They left about ten minutes ago, they should be headed to the hideout. _

_ Are you sure you’re okay with this? Ya know, setting up your friends? Someone could get seriously hurt… _

_ Dabi: It’s a dog eat dog world doll face. Just wait five minutes and call the police from your burner. They should get in there to avoid too much bloodshed.  _ What a jerk he is. 

_ Okay. We’re going in then.  _

Toga turns off her cell and shoves it in her back pocket. She stands to her feet and looks at the four others that have come to join her in her caper. “We’re going. Everyone remembers the plan right?” She stresses. No vandalizing, no stealing anything traceable, no removing your gloves, don’t stare directly into cameras. The general common sense things. 

“Yeah yeah let’s just do this shit, I’m getting bored.” Right, just do it. The sooner this is over the sooner she can go to her baby and slide in his arms. Once this is over she’ll never have to lie to him again. 

The five of them go together, approaching the back door of the home. She didn’t want a break in to be obvious so she made sure that instead of bashing windows and wedging doors that they came equipped with screwdrivers to simply remove the knob and replace it when done. They have twenty minutes to get in and get out and there isn’t a single minute to waste. 

The second they’re inside it truly becomes every man for themselves. All her rules about no vandalizing went straight out the window as they started tearing apart the dark home looking for illicit drugs. It’s annoying and a problem, but Toga tries to keep as calm as she possibly can while she takes a more rational approach.

Obviously these things aren’t going to be out in the open, so she goes looking in places she learned about from movies. The basement, complete with a padded lock and a door combination. “Fuck.” She hisses to herself. How lucky could she be if she was able to find the combination somewhere? The answer is too lucky. She has to think of another idea because she knows damn well she isn’t going to get into that room. 

She quickly abandons her plan and begins to head upstairs to the top floor. There’s not very many rooms here, enough to hold the average sized family. She has to wonder if his daughter sleeps here, but then she decides that if she  _ did  _ stay here the house would still be guarded. Chisaki probably also wouldn’t have her around his work...would he? 

A vibration from her pocket makes her jump a little before she realizes it’s the burner cell. Shit, it’s probably Dabi wondering if she’s called the cops yet. She doesn’t even waste time reading it, skipping over his message to dial for the police. Calling the cops on someone while she’s in the middle of a crime herself has her anxiety running on high. 

_ ‘Emergency services, how may I help you?’  _

“..hello? Uh.. I need to report a crime.” She whispers, her voice trembling. 

_ ‘Okay. Where are you and can you tell me what’s going on?’  _

“I’m not there! I mean, I was jogging past the place and I saw a lot of heavily armed men going inside this abandoned building on West and Sixth. It just looked really sketchy so I ran and thought I should call.” 

_ ‘On West and Sixth? The old steel plant?’  _ Oh god she doesn’t fucking know. It’s an empty ass, big ass building! 

“Yeah.” She shrugs, quietly pushing open bedroom doors and peaking inside. 

_ ‘May I have your name ma’am?’  _

“I would prefer to stay anonymous actually. Please just send someone fast, I’m afraid people are going to get hurt.” She urges. Before the woman can ask her anything else she hangs up to avoid getting herself caught somehow. 

_ Dabi: You call? _

_ I just got off the phone with them. I can’t get the drugs Dabi, they’re padded and locked away in a room in the basement.  _

_ Dabi: Shit. I guess I should’ve thought about that. _

_ I’m gonna take whatever cash I can find and things you can pawn and then how about we call it even yeah?  _

_ Dabi: No idiot, I can’t pawn any of their shit.  _

_ Oh my gosh! Just pawn it outside the city or something!! You’re making this difficult!  _

Whatever, he’s not the one in here so she’s going to do whatever she wants. Her bag starts to fill with anything pretty she can find in the rooms upstairs. Spare money, fancy looking lighters, some jewelry. One watch in particular catches her eye. A nice ass Rolex that sparkles at her in the darkness of the bedroom. Oh it’s just gorgeous, sterling silver and diamond encrusted. What a wonderful gift for her man. It puts the lame gift she already got him to shame. 

How wrong of her would it be to give him something stolen? There’s no engravings on it, looks barely worn. It couldn’t hurt and he deserves it anyways. She pockets the watch and smiles softly. As she’s moving towards the door to hit the next room she realizes that it’s eerily quiet in the house as opposed to the chaotic noise that was being made earlier. Did they all leave? Seriously, without her? She’s ready to storm downstairs and check for herself when another possibility dawns on her. 

What if someone came back? What if they were scared off? 

She presses her ear to the door, straining to hear. It’s silent for a bit until she hears the heavy and carefully measured footsteps against the hardwood landing of the staircase. Himiko backs away quickly. It could be nothing, it could be one of those guys she brought with her, and then she starts to think about how that isn’t the greatest thing ever. Why would she corner herself alone up here with a man she barely knows? Why did she ever think the thug life was for her? She isn’t a thug!! She’s a fucking college student that’s gotten herself caught up in some dark game of make believe. 

“Out out, I need to get out.” She acknowledges to herself. She can’t run out the door, so the only other option is the window. Whatever happened to the others isn’t on her mind, the person slowly climbing the stairs isn’t on her mind, none of that letters anymore she’s just concerned about making her escape. 

She pushes the window up and takes a look outside. It’s not too bad. She can climb out, land on the second story landing and then jump to her freedom. She sighs heavily, trying to calm her mind and makes sure her bag is secure on her back. Carefully, she tosses a leg out the window, straddling the sill and ducks her head out next. The knob on the door starts to turn, catching her attention and with a loud thud it crashes open. She shrieks at the man standing across the room from her. Holy fuck he’s huge, he looks so pissed, he’s  _ snarling  _ at her..and then she lunges. 

Toga screams in a panic and winds up falling sideways out the window. “Get back here you little thief!!” She hears him yell as she just keeps rolling right over the ledge and down to the ground. She sputters and lays there for a second as she embraces the impact she just took and prays like Hell that she didn’t break anything. 

She can hear boots stomping above her, apparently the big guy is gonna jump off the roof too which means she needs to get the hell out of dodge. Himiko forces herself up to her feet and pushes herself to run, narrowly avoiding his attempt to grab her. 

“Did that flaky bastard send you and the rest of those little intruders?!” He shouts as he chases her down. Toga can’t respond, she’s too busy screaming like her life depends on it. “I’m gonna wring your fucking neck when I catch you!” 

“No no please!! I-it’s such a nice neck!!” She wails, crying into the night sky. Her eyes scan her surroundings for anything she can use to her advantage and there is...nothing. Houses with their lights off, obviously not wanting any part of the foolery going on outside. Cars with doors that are probably locked. And oh so many fences. 

“Stop...running!!” 

“Stop...chasing me!!” She veers right, running towards through the streets to make it to the entrance of the neighborhood. She’s horrified thinking that he would continue chasing her and eventually catch her out there. The car driving through the road simply trying to get home comes to be her miracle and she finds herself oddly relieved at the sound of it clipping her pursuer. She even looks back just to make sure it hit him and maybe she shouldn’t have. She should be happy that she’s getting away, but the med student inside her is protesting against her will to abandon someone in need. 

He doesn’t even look too hurt! Clearly conscious, gripping his stupid leg, a small laceration on his forehead and angry fueled eyes. She should keep running, but all her training and teachings are telling her not to. The panic filled cries of the driver who is terrified that they’re going to get in trouble for this make her feel guilty and this is exactly why she isn’t made for crime. You’re not supposed to feel guilty and you’re not supposed to help your enemies, but she’s long since realized that a criminal is not who she truly is. 

“I- I didn’t see you, I’m so sorry!” The driver sobs. He looks so young, a teenager who just got licensed. His wet eyes turn to Toga and he begins apologizing to her and professing his innocence. She cringes, groaning heavily. 

“Fuck me.” She whispers. She sighs and jogs back over to the scene of her crime, approaching her victim with her hands out. “I know that we got off to a rough start, but I- I know some things about first aid. I can help you?” 

“Help me?” He grinds out. “You little bitch! I’m gonna fucking kill you!” 

“Well, pfft, I can tell without having to tip your pants leg that you aren’t gonna do anything with that injury, but I understand your frustration.” She says chuckling awkwardly as she crouches down. “Hold his arms down, he wasn’t joking about that killing thing.” She instructs the frazzled teen. 

“What’s going on out here?” Oh, now the neighborhood wants to wake up. 

“Just a small incident! If someone could call for an ambulance that’d be great!” She calls out to the civilians exiting their homes. Her attention turns back to the enraged man on the ground. There’s so much blood, and the white protrusion from his slacks tells her it was most certainly a clean break. “Okay, your leg is broken.” 

“Gee, really?!” He hisses. 

“More particularly a tibial break.” She continues. “Your adrenaline is pumping right now which is the only thing preventing you from going into shock and passing out. I consider that a good thing because the laceration on your head looks a little deep. A gusher. You could have a serious concussion.” 

“I called the ambulance, they’re on their way. I’m so sorry.” The kid continues crying. 

Toga turns to him next, gripping his shoulders tightly. “It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay and he’s gonna be fine. It was an accident. Now, I need your shirt so I can stop the bleeding.” 

“You realize helping me goes against your favor right?” The man questions. His breathing sounds labored, his adrenaline is running out and he’s sweating profusely. 

“I know, but it’s my instinct. I never meant for you to get hurt, I just... I got messed up in a messy situation and I apologize sincerely.” And she means that with all her heart. She has learned a lesson here. She will never again touch or think about drugs. She will be a good girl through and through. She will behave and keep to her studies. She’ll fix her relationships with her friends. At one point she was using this as an escape from how confusing and fucked up her life had become, but this wasn’t the kind of escape she needed. Instead of trying to find delinquent thrills to her problems she will face them head on. Stand ten toes down instead of running like normal. 

She doesn’t realize that she’s started crying, doesn’t even know when the first few tears fell. She’s tied off the man’s wound and made a comfortable makeshift pillow for him to rest his head. It feels wrong to leave, but she can’t stay here and she knows that. He’ll be fine and this isn’t her running away again, this is simply her closing the door to a disgusting chapter of her life. A chapter of pain and misunderstanding. She hasn’t felt right ever since this began, but running off into the night to safety and freedom feels just about perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it. This chapter is short, but it’s mainly being used as a transitional piece for Toga. The next chapter will be posted in a few days as it’s almost finished. I planned on posting them both tonight but I didn’t wanna make you guys wait any longer! 
> 
> Remember, let me know if you’re interested in bumping to the playlist! Until next time!


	12. Feel Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s bossing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Dubious consent, non consensual bondage, and toxic extremes. Aside from that...SURPRISE ANOTHER CHAPTER!! 🙂

Bakugou wakes up Wednesday morning to several text messages and missed calls from Toga. She wants him to know that she’s free, wants to know if he still wants her to come there. He does, he’s been pissy and bummed the past two days and his mom is talking shit. She’s convinced he either made up this girlfriend or scared her off with his jackass behavior. Yeah, he needs her there asap so he can prove several points. He was kind enough to send her an Uber mainly so he could track her ride and know exactly when she would arrive. Not at all to be controlling, but to be safe. 

When she shows up she’s so excited to see him, hugging him as tightly as she can, kissing his cheeks and running her fingers through his hair. She’s even got a few tears in her eyes. To anyone maybe this would’ve been sweet, but it honestly just pissed Katsuki off. To him it was obviously a sign that she had been doing something she had no business doing and was afraid she was gonna get caught. Something like...cheating. Ugh, just the idea makes him more pissed. 

He won’t mention it though. He needs to keep being on his best behavior. He needs to show his parents that this is a perfect and stable relationship. “I missed you so much.” She coos as he brings her bags inside. 

“You say that all the time.” He says at first, and then adds that he missed her too after thinking better of it. “Did you bring the whole damn dorm?” 

Toga giggles, leaving her shoes by the door. “No of course not! That bag is full of gifts for your birthday tomorrow, and those two have my clothes. Eeeek this is gonna be so fun!” She squeals. 

“Whole bag full of gifts for me, eh?” 

She nods and smiles sweetly up at him, draping her arms around his neck and she plants the sweetest kiss on his lips. “For my best guy. I love you ya know?” She whispers, pressing their foreheads together.

“Mmm. Only guy, right?” He hums, closing his eyes. She nods much to his approval. “Good.” 

“Aw? Not even gonna say it back?” He bristles. “I know I raised you better than that.” The young pair turn to face the owner of the voice, his mother with a shit eating grin on her face. 

“Thank you Katsuki for letting us know your girlfriend was here and introducing us.” She laughs, smacking the chest of his father who stands behind her with a much kinder smile on his face. 

“Oh my goodness! It’s happening, it’s really happening!” Toga breathes, pulling away from him to approach his parents. “Hi..hello, I’m Toga. Toga Himiko. The light of your son's life and quite possibly his future wife. It is such a pleasure to finally meet his makers and be able to thank you in person.” 

“Would you shut the hell up, weirdo?!” 

His parents look scandalized and shocked at such an introduction, but it was his choice to bring her here. “Honey if you need us to save you blink twice.” His mother whispers. 

“Oop! Okay if I just blinked it’s not because I need saving!” She laughs. “I’m so excited right now!” 

“Katsuki what’s wrong with her?” His mother frowns. 

“Mitsuki!” His father chokes. “You’ll have to forgive my wife, we’ve simply never met a young lady who was...so...eccentric.”

“Strange.”

“Crazy.” Katsuki adds. 

“Happy!!!” Toga cheers again. “Can I hug you guys?” Jesus fucking Christ. He watches from the background as Toga bear hugs his parents and they very stiffly and awkwardly pat her back. What a damn impression. At least his mother looks fearful, something he’s never seen her from before.

Shortly after getting Toga’s things settled into the guest room he finds himself sitting in the living room watching while his girlfriend does her damndest to bond with his parents. His mother still seems to be in shock over her out there personality, but his father is being ever the host, making conversation with her and indulging in her many questions about Katsuki’s childhood and adolescence. 

He’s never had someone be so invested in his life and it’s okay or whatever, but he wants time alone with her. She made him wait two days for her to show up and now she’s making him wait for her again. 

He can either sit here or he could leave. Maybe she’ll get the hint and follow...she doesn’t. Like seriously? They have a whole week to spend together and she finds his parents that damn exciting? They’re old and lame! He tries to wait up because she can’t possibly spend that long talking to them, but the hours pass by slowly and it’s nearing midnight. His eyes are getting droopy and sluggish. 

He’s halfway asleep when he hears his door creeping open. He stirs, peering over his covers. Toga is rounding his bed with a small box in her hands. A birthday gift, the first of many. “Happy birthday baby.” She whispers to him. 

He sits up, yawning and accepts the gift from her hands, slowly unwrapping it. It’s a watch...a Rolex watch. Silver with gold trimming and diamonds. “Am I dreaming right now or are you seriously bringing me a whole fucking Rolex?” 

“Not a dream.” She giggles softly, sitting on the edge of his bed. “It’s not the one I wanted to get you, that one was so much nicer, but my dad’s purse strings are so tight...do you like it?” 

He nods unsteadily, his eyes fixated on the expensive ass watch in his possession. “Yeah. I...certainly wasn’t expecting this.” 

“You deserve it. Just don’t be disappointed if the other gifts don’t live up to it, okay?” 

Disappointed? He chuckles, turning his eyes to her as if she’s crazy. Camie never gave him gifts like this, never gave him gifts at all and Himiko thinks he would be disappointed that she even bothered? 

He sets the case aside and slips the watch onto his wrist before urging her closer. He wraps her up in his arms pulling her to lay down with him, pressing kisses to her crown. “You’re so sweet you know that? I don’t know how you always manage to surprise me, but you do.” 

“I just want you to be happy.” She sighs. 

“I’m happy now. I was a little pissy earlier, thought you didn’t want to spend the time with me, but I was wrong.” 

“Of course I wanted to spend time with you. I should’ve just come on Monday with you. I saw this car accident happen. It was so scary. It was horrible or anything, but I just really wanted to be anywhere else...with you.” 

“You’re with me now baby girl.” He mutters into her hair squeezing her tighter. “I shouldn't have given you so much shit. It’s just…” his words die on his lips. 

“Just what?” Just that he’s so insecure, so paranoid, so...toxic and he doesn’t want to be. He has an internal battle with himself every fucking day to stop being this way, but it just seems embedded into his core. 

He cups a hand under her chin, lifting her head to meet her eyes. “It’s nothing, I just need you to never leave me, okay? Never. I don’t know what I would do with myself if you ever left me Toga.” 

“Katsuki, I would never leave you.” She tells him reassuringly. “Can I sleep here tonight?” 

He grunts, pulling over to the empty side of his mattress and caging her between his arms and legs. “What did you really think that guest room shit was for real? No no no, I expect you in my bed every night. Just like at school.” He’s been waiting for this moment all day only earlier it was so he could yell at her and make her feel bad for making him wait, but this feels so much better.  _ So  _ much better.

* * *

It took an ungodly amount of convincing to get Katsuki to come out tonight for his birthday. He wanted to stay in, lounge on the couch and watch movies like an old couple, but that’s not what Toga is trying to do. It’s his birthday for fucks sake! A celebration for another year of life and they  _ have  _ to party it out. 

She feels bad that his friends aren’t here to celebrate with him, but she’s doing her best to make sure he has a good time. She dressed up nice for him, a tight and short little number in one of his favorite colors. She got them reservations at his favorite restaurant and had everyone sing to him. And now she’s trying to show him off in the club. The key word being  _ trying.  _ That man is as stubborn as a mule when it comes to having fun. He's got the body of a young God, but the mindset of an old shrewd. 

He’s much more content with sitting back in their booth, that she rented for his birthday, and letting her do her thing in his lap. If it makes him happy she’ll do it, but she also wants to indulge just a little bit. Hit the floor and strut his stuff! She doesn’t care if he turns out to be the world's worst dancer, but alas, it’s simply not his style. 

Despite not wanting to do any of this, his mood hasn’t been too sour and because of his good spirits he tells her to go, have fun, don’t worry about him for once. She’s hesitant because the night was  _ supposed _ to be about  _ him _ , them, but he reassures her that he’s fine. It’s no big deal, so she hits the floor by herself. She makes sure to stay in his line of sight as much as possible so he doesn’t lose her in the crowd, but other than that she’s just trying to live her best life and have fun. 

It’s been forever since she’s gone out and had fun being that she doesn’t have any friends anymore. At least not right now. And considering the stressful time she just came out of she feels like this is exactly what she needs. Especially after she woke up and saw Dabi’s messages about what went down at the League’s hideout. They were completely blindsided, of course, but never underestimate Shigaraki’s desire to come out on top of something. She didn’t need the details about how many people suffered gunshot wounds, but she got them. She didn’t need the details about the fire breaking out, but she got them. She didn’t need the details about all the arrests that were made, but she got them. 

She had done her best to ignore it all because that’s not a part of her world anymore and it was supposed to be a good day. But those kinds of things are hard to ignore so she threw herself headfirst into the events of today the same way she’s throwing herself head first into the drinks she’s buying and the songs that are playing. 

She has no idea how long she’s been dancing by herself but sweat is beading against her forehead and her breathing is getting heavy. A body bumps against her backside and at first it doesn’t bother her because she figures it’s just someone trying to get by, but when the other person doesn’t move she realizes it’s someone trying to dance  _ with  _ her. She can tell from the kind of cologne they’re wearing that it’s  _ not  _ Katsuki, but it is a dude with a very offensive hard on. She’s quick to pull away and glare at him in a warning. 

Her Katsuki senses are tingling and she can tell he’s coming which means this dude is in for a rude awakening if he doesn’t bolt quickly. He looks so pissed when he shoves his way over to them and she instantly knows they’re about to be kicked out of this club. Any other day she wouldn’t mind him punching a perv for her, but tonight she just wants him to relax and not be so grouchy. In an innocent effort to minimize the drama she places herself between Katsuki and his target, her hands clinging to his shirt and pleading with him to let it go. It’s not worth the trouble and she already handled it herself. 

This was a mistake on her part. She blinks and all his rage and anger is being shed on her. His hand is clamped around her wrist with a bruising grip and he’s practically dragging her out of the club. Her wrist hurts and she’s tripping over herself and other people, but Katsuki doesn’t seem to care. He’s too angry to care right now. Maybe she should have just let him hit the guy, because she knows how he can be when he’s angry, cruel and hurtful, and she doesn’t want that attention focused on her. Not tonight. 

The air outside smacks her as he pulls her through the exit and he keeps on, tugging her in the direction of the car now. He can’t even hear her asking him to let go of her over his own yelling and shouting. She tries to pry his hand off of her, but he just squeezes tighter, yanking her along and the next thing she knows she’s being shoved against the side of his car and his face is so close to hers. She’s got tears in her eyes because she’s scared and she’s never been so scared of him, but the look he gives her now has her legs shaking and her heart racing. 

She was just trying to stop a fight, how did this happen to her? He screams at her to get in the fucking car and she gets in the fucking car, buckling her seatbelt while he slams the door all too roughly. She’s in a full on sob and trembling in her seat. She knew he was going to slam his door too, but it doesn’t stop her from jumping when he does. 

“You just love fucking embarrassing me, don’t you?!” He growls as he starts the car. She has no idea what he’s talking about. She was just trying to stop a fight. “On my birthday? My fucking birthday?! You let that slimy bastard touch you right in front of me?! When did you get so bold, huh?” 

“Katsuki I wasn’t doing anything.” She whimpers, sniffling in her seat. Her denial of guilt just upsets him more and he punches the steering wheel and Toga has a dreadful feeling that he wishes it had been her face there. And maybe next time it will be so she decides to keep her mouth shut. 

“Lying little bitch. I  _ watched  _ you! And to think I fucking trusted you. I always knew you were a whore.” 

Her lips press into a tight line. She wants to deny that too, but she can’t find the courage too. It’s another bad choice. He wants her to deny it as well, but they both know that if she does he would just call her a liar again so what exactly does he want from her? 

He shouldn’t drive when he’s angry, he’s going much too fast and between cursing her out and swerving through the lanes she’s worried she’s going to be involved in another accident. “Please slow down, Katsuki! You’re scaring me!!” 

“Oh you’re scared now?! You weren’t scared when you were out there humping some idiot on the dance floor!” 

She whimpers pitifully, gripping at her hair. What the hell was he actually watching? Did he drink tonight? Is he on drugs? She didn’t do  _ anything.  _ She pulled away, she told that guy no. She did everything she was supposed to. 

Himiko tries to calm herself in her seat. This can’t go on forever. Maybe if she just lets him hash out his frustrations it’ll be over quicker. Boy is she wrong. Katsuki doesn’t usually talk so much, but when he’s mad about something he apparently never runs out of things to say. The whole drive home is filled with him berating her and making her cry. When they arrive home, he holds her hostage in the car because he can’t shout inside where his parents will here and rescue her and when they do get inside his loud obscenities turn into low, hushed growls. 

She is exhausted. Her heart is in so much pain and her head hurts. She just wants to be alone and as far away from him as she can right now so she attempts to go to her room and box him out, but he’s not letting her off that easily. She’s followed and he’s on the wrong side of the door with her. 

“ _ Please, please stop _ !!” She cries, hiccuping painfully. “I can't do this anymore.” 

“Can’t do what, exactly?” He’s in her space again, poking and pushing her shoulder while she backs away until the back of her knees hit the bed. “What, you wanna break up now?”

“No, that’s n-not what I m-meant. P-please just stop...stop yelling at me. I’m s-sorry.” She has no idea what she’s sorry for, but she obviously has done something wrong for him to be this angry. “I won’t do it again... I swear, I p-promise, just s-stop yelling at me.” Whatever it is that she did will never happen again. If that means never stepping foot in a club again then fine, but God please just let this nightmare end. 

He bends down in front of her, his arms caging her in and she can’t meet his eyes right now. She doesn’t wanna see him right now. She wants the sweet Katsuki back, not whoever this monster is. “You know what I think?” He asks her. She doesn’t want to know what he thinks, but he’s gonna tell her anyways. “I think I just learned what kind of person you really are tonight. A liar, a cheater. And after I’ve been so good to you?” 

His hand grips his chin roughly and he forces her to look at him. “What were you really doing before you came here, huh?” She imagined that one day she would tell him the truth. That she’d gotten lost and mixed up on the darker side of the world, but now? Oh no, she will take that to her grave. “What’s his name?” 

“I did not  _ cheat  _ on you.” She whispers as sternly as she can with her trembly voice. He’s quiet as he looks over her face for tell tale signs on lying and she isn’t showing any, but with his warped and twisted vision he finds something that he doesn’t like. 

“I don’t believe you. I don’t know when or how, but I think you’ve forgotten who you belong to. Maybe that’s my fault for being so soft with you.” 

“No.” She sighs tiredly. “Please.” 

He snatches away from her roughly and instructs her to sit there and don’t move. He leaves the room and she feels no relief in his retreating presence because she knows he’s coming back. She’s tempted to get up and lock the door. Maybe she’ll climb out the window and leave. But if she gets caught she has no idea what he’ll do so she simply sits there and wonders how the hell this happened to herself. 

This is the first time she’s doubting everything about him. The first time she’s starting to believe that maybe Ray and Miki were right. Maybe he is no good for her, maybe he’s toying with her. She doesn’t deserve to be talked to like this, treated like this. Thinking these things hurt though because this guy is the only thing she wants. Who the hell else would want to put up with her? She’s weird, clingy, a lot to handle. She’s annoying and more trouble than she’s obviously worth so...so she has to stick by him. 

_ ‘It’s just one dark night.’  _ She tells herself. The door to the room opens again and Katsuki reappears. She hears the lock click behind him and her eyes fall to the things in his hands. The ball gag, the handcuffs. Her night is going to get a lot darker.

* * *

She’s used to the rough treatment, the brutal pace and the dirty words, but it feels different tonight. It feels humiliating and embarrassing because she knows this is coming from a place of anger and hatred. His possessive talk doesn’t excite her like it normally does, it makes her cringe inside. She never thought that sex with Bakugou Katsuki could make her feel dirty, but that’s exactly how she feels. And she blames herself. 

She should have never left his side. She should’ve chosen to stay put right where she was. Then he wouldn’t be so angry at her. He wouldn’t be so hurt. 

His nails dig into her hips as he slams his own roughly against her. Her wrists hurt from the tightness of the cuffs and the constant tugging. Her legs are shaking and she’s sore from overstimulation, but Katsuki’s stamina has never been a light joke and with so much rage burning inside him, he’s likely to just keep going. 

Her eyes squeeze shut tightly as she feels her walls fluttering around him yet again and she wants to close her legs and tap out. She can’t possibly have another orgasm, but he’s determined to drag it out of her. She whimpers into her gag, drool running down her chin. His pace quickens more as he feels her coming undone and the coil in her stomach snaps. She lets out a deep, wanton moan into her gag and her eyes roll. A warm liquid drips between her thighs and Katsuki praises her in a deep lustful voice. His hand twists in her hair, pulling her head back so he can whisper in her ear. 

“Good girl.” He praises, his other hand fondling her nipple. “Squirting all over my cock like that. Nobody makes you cum like I do.” Her body feels heavy and sluggish and the cuffs and Bakugou are the only thing holding her up while his thrusts become sloppy and rushed until he goes still, flush against her and emptying himself again inside her. 

His head comes to rest on her shoulder as he catches his breath before he’s pulling out of her and moving to get the key and free her. She slumps down and lays there still while he removes the gag from her mouth. His arms slip around her, pulling her against his warm chest and his lips kiss at her skin. “You okay?” No. 

“Yes.” She whispers after many moments. Her entire body aches, her mind is broken, and there’s a wound in her chest. 

“I was rough wasn’t I? M’sorry.” A few tears slip past her lids as he cuddles her and whispers soft apologies. Why couldn’t he show her this kindness earlier? “M’ so sorry. Do you forgive me?” 

She sniffles softly and remains there quietly as she ponders what to say. Katsuki waits anxiously behind her, pressing his nose against the crook of her neck and squeezing her tired body tighter. “I’m tired, Katsuki.” She decides to say. 

He realizes that this isn’t forgiveness and out of guilt for pushing her so far he leaves it to rest. They can talk about it tomorrow. “I know. Lemme clean you up, kay? Then we can go to sleep.” She doesn’t have the energy to object or agree. She just lets him do as he pleases, he always does what he pleases.

* * *

His parents are aware that something is going on. Toga is being much too quiet. She looks tired and haggard, depressed. That’s his fault. He blew it. He crossed a line last night that he may never recover from. He let his jealousy and toxicity get the absolute best of him.

It was going so well, but the minute he saw that prick step into his territory all common sense went out the window. Those insecurities he tried to bury reared their ugly head. He  _ saw  _ her push him away, but when she defended him, Katsuki lost it. He started thinking of all the worst possible things and then he  _ did  _ all of the worst possible things. He screamed at her, he drug her against her will, he made her cry, he used her to take out his own stupid frustrations and had he just shut up and spoke to her like a normal human being things could have ended much differently. 

She wouldn’t have spent the entire breakfast looking like she was on the verge of tears. She wouldn’t be avoiding him and flinching away from him whenever they cross paths. She wouldn’t be sitting on the edge of her seat in the car while he’s trying to make amends. He’s traumatized her and frightened her and he doesn’t know how to make this right. This was supposed to be the best week of their romance and he ruined it. 

The only thing he can think to do at this point is be as open and upfront with her as possible. Maybe if he explains why he’s so messed up then maybe she’ll forgive him. So he’s explaining and the more he’s explaining the more stupid he feels. To him, it sounded like a perfectly good explanation as to why he’s the way he is. But actually telling it to her, telling her that he treats her like shit because that’s what someone did to him makes it sound so idiotic. And judging by how she hasn’t looked at him even once, the lack of care and concern she seems to bear, he thinks she agrees. 

It’s just utter silence in the car and it’s been that way for an agonizing ten minutes. He just wants her to say something, anything. Well not anything, but  _ something.  _ When he expresses that to her, she merely shrugs, her gaze still fixed out the window and her chin resting in her palm. 

“What am I supposed to say?” She mutters. Her voice is dry and devoid of emotion. Usually she’s the most emotionally expressive person he knows, but now she just sounds empty. “I mean..sorry? I’m sorry Camie was a bitch, but...what does that have to do with me? What did I do so wrong?” 

_ ‘You liked the wrong guy.’  _

“I’ve been thinking lately... and I realized last night, after I actually blamed  _ myself _ for the way I was being treated... I realized that Rachel was right. I have daddy issues. I know how to love and how to give love, but I have no idea how to receive it and you have no idea how to give it.” 

He swallows thickly, his eyes cast downward in shame. “I promise you, I’m gonna do better.”

“You promised that once already and tuh, look where that landed me.” 

“Himiko...I-“

“Just stop talking.” She sighs, rubbing her forehead. “For once just...I’m gonna talk okay?” She finally looks at him and he sees a Toga he hasn’t seen since this whole mess started. An angry Toga, the same Toga that had the balls to throw food and drinks at him. “I’m gonna talk and you’re gonna listen to me for once!” 

He opens his mouth to agree, but quickly clamps it shut, because obviously he’s just been told to be quiet so speaking is not what he should do. 

“ _ Never  _ in my  _ life _ have I been treated so..so...vilely! And to think it came from someone that I give my fucking all to! Someone that I cherish and treat like a goddamn king! I have spent the last few months thinking that something was wrong with me, that I was the problem, when in reality it was always you, you sick fuck!” 

His jaw clenches out of habit and he has to look away from her. She laughs dryly next to him. “Oh? Do you not like being called out, Katsuki? Cause guess what I actually  _ don’t  _ like being called a whore and treated like a rag doll either!” 

“I know.” He grunts lowly.

“Well you had me fooled. Look, I do feel bad okay. It sucks that you were treated like nothing by someone you loved and someone you really wanted to be with, trust me I know and it’s probably the only reason I’m not dumping your ass right now, but you have to get help Katsuki. If you want me to stay, you’re going to get help. Talk about your fucking problems with someone or something, but you’re not gonna treat me like that anymore. And I’m taking my friends back. I threw away good relationships to be with you and I miss my friends.”

“I- I miss going out and laughing with my friends! I miss movie nights and I miss sleeping in my own room! I miss having someone other than you to talk to!” 

He can only nod his head slowly, trying to control the overwhelming amount of emotion he’s feeling. Shame, guilt, rejection. This isn’t about how he’s feeling right now, it’s about how she’s feeling and she’s finally telling him that she doesn’t feel good. 

“And another thing! You will  _ not  _ touch me ever again until I say you can because if you ever put your hands on me again, you will see a kind of Toga you didn’t think imaginable.  _ And  _ the next time you accuse me of cheating on you...Katsuki... I...oh my god I don’t even know.” 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

He can feel her eyes boring holes into him. He wishes she didn’t say what she said next. “Ya know, usually they say that when you think your partner is cheating because you’re feeling guilty about cheating. So tell me.. _ Bakugou _ . Have  _ you _ been cheating?” 

Normally he would lie of course, but he owes her this honesty. “It was one time..like a month or two ago. I-“

He’s cut off by Toga screaming in her seat next to him. Oh she’s so pissed, she’s so hurt and it’s his fault for pushing her to the brink. He’s broken his little looney bin and he can’t even comfort her. 

He can’t believe it took him turning into a monster to understand the full gravity of his actions. He’s had ample opportunities before this to just be right and he kept choosing to be wrong and this is the result. 

“I hate you!” She screams at him. “I love you, but I fucking hate you!” 

“I deserve that.”

“No! You know what  _ you  _ deserve, you deserve to be dumped! God I- I feel so fucking stupid! Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?! That  _ bitch  _ is  _ laughing  _ behind my fucking back! And you’re an idiot for doing it, she doesn’t even want you!!  _ I  _ wanted you and you- ahhhh!!” 

“Okay.” He nods not really knowing what else to say to that. Wait no, he knows what to say. He turns to her, thinks about touching her cheek and decides against it. “Look I’m a fuck up okay? The absolute worst, but I get it now. I’m through with Camie. Never again. I’m sorry, I hurt you, I understand that. But Himi...it’s you. I was too stubborn and too much of a dick to want to admit that, but it’s always been you.” 

She wipes at her eyes, whimpering in her seat and he really just wants to hold her, but he can’t. “You made me feel so insecure, so bad about myself. Why her? What the fuck is so special about her?” 

“Nothing. I was a dumbass kid and a dumbass simp. But she doesn’t even compare to you, the things you do for me, the way you make me feel, babe you’ve gotta believe me. Whatever you want I’ll do it. I’ll go back to therapy, I’ll delete her number, whatever you need to make this right.” 

“I need...to go home. I don’t even wanna look at you right now.” He wishes in this moment that he were more like Kirishima, or just like any guy in a romance movie that knew exactly what to say to magically make things better. He wishes he were better at expressing his feelings and better at being supportive. But he’s not and he won’t suddenly become better over night. Toga has made it clear that this talk is over and he has no idea where they stand anymore so he just drives back home.

* * *

She doesn’t pack her things and leave immediately so he takes that as a good sign, but she doesn’t talk to him either. She basically pretends like he doesn’t exist and spends all her time around his parents. She gives them all her smiles and laughter, her corny jokes, and funny stories and when she shows up she turns cold and removes herself from the scene. 

She doesn’t spend another night in his bed, they don’t stay up and talk under the covers. She’s texting her friends, making amends with them and trying to get back into their good graces. Probably telling them what a dick he is. 

It’s driving him insane. She’s so close, but so far away. The shoe is on the other foot and he hates it. He has so much anxiety and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He knows he needs to prove that he was serious about doing whatever she needed so that’s why he takes to the internet to look for reputable therapists close to campus. The sooner he starts talking about his problems the sooner he can fix them. 

That long ass text thread he had with Camie? Gone. Her number is blocked, all pictures of them are scrubbed clean of his phone and he’s erasing her from his mind. He’s always had a black lock screen, but now Toga is his lock screen. She’s first on his favorites in his messages. Her social media handle is tagged in his profile bio and all those pictures he kept hidden of them are posted online. 

He starts to recall all those things she told about, the things she loves. Unicorns, makeup, sparkly pink shit. When they get back to campus she’ll have multiple deliveries waiting in her mailbox. At this point he’s ready to tattoo her damn name on his forehead if he has to do he just...he really  _ can’t  _ lose her. He realizes he’s doing with her now what he used to do with, well, you know who. But Toga is far more worth it so it’s okay and acceptable. 

He’s up late one night in the kitchen, spending more money on a bunch of forgive me gifts when his mother finds him. She’s surprised to see him there, concerned about the heavy bags under his eyes and the amount of time he’s spent on his laptop today. She’s also concerned about the drastic difference in Toga’s attitude towards him. The only thing he can tell her is that he’s fucked up and that he’s scared. 

“Something’s wrong with me, ma.” He confides in here in such a strange turn of events. His mother has never been the person he turns to when he’s having panic attacks and hurting. He either usually swallows it down and battles it out himself, or turns to his father in secret. His mother and him have always been tougher with each other. He’s never liked showing her his weaknesses because she’s the kind of person that preys on weakness and teases you for it, but he’s beside himself right now and nobody has come to comfort him yet so he’s relishing in the opportunity. 

“I hurt her.” He confesses. “Why am I like this?” 

His mother realizes that this is indeed strange behavior for him. Being the kind of mother that comforts and consoles does not come easily for her. She’s never thought he needed that. Maybe when he was a toddler, but at one point in his life he just seemed to stop needing it and so she forgot how to do it. But it comes back to her more naturally than she would have imagined, because seeing their child hurting is enough to make any hard woman turn soft. 

She hugs him and he hasn’t hugged her in years, but it feels so nice. It feels like being a child again, being in a moment in time where he can do no wrong. “It’s okay.” She whispers to him, rubbing his back while he sheds tears on her blouse. It’s not okay and she doesn’t know just how not okay it is, but he accepts her words because he needs to hear them right now. 

“She hates me. Why do I want everyone to hate me?”

“Oh Katsuki.” She sighs. “You’ve always been a difficult one.” She chuckles softly. 

“What’s wrong with me?” He mumbles against her. 

“You want the truth?” Well of course. She’s never sugar coated things before. “Honey for one, you’re a narcissist in the worst way. And somehow I think that’s our fault. Mainly your dads for always coddling you, but I’m innocent either. You’re a good boy Katsuki, but you have this tendency to burn things when they get too good.” 

“Well I burned her. Fucking scorched her.” 

“Oh I can tell. She went from being head over heels to..icy. You need to let your walls down. You’ve built them so high that you make it impossible for people to get close to you. And that I know is my fault. But you’re also not a baby anymore, you’re a man now and you have to learn how to handle things better. Stop being so angry all the time, so petty and malicious. Stop holding on to grudges and hurt and just let go.” 

She puts space between them and looks into his carmine eyes with her own, a gentle smile on her face. “Ya know..when she first came in here I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting you to bring home a girl so...happy and full of life. Don’t get me wrong, you’re  _ my  _ son so I know you wouldn’t bring home a loser, but there’s just something about her that rings differently. And I like it. I like the two of you. When you were standing at the door, holding each other, being all mushy...it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen from you and it was weird because you don’t normally do cute. But again, I liked it. I  _ loved  _ that for you. I don’t know what you did wrong Katsuki, but I know that you have it in you to fix it. We don’t do quitting shit in this house. So you’re gonna have to buck up and man up and make it right. 

Girls like that don’t come around every day. Ones that love you so completely, so purely and just for you. That’s a rare, once in a lifetime kind of thing. She hasn’t left yet so you know there’s still a chance, you just have to go about it the right way.”

“Tell me what’s the right way. I’ve maxed out pop’s credit card trying to do this.” 

“And we will talk about that dumbass decision later.” She frowns. “Look I’m not a romantic. That’s more of your dad’s thing, but I do know that the right thing isn’t based on materials. It’s your actions. So start being about it.” Actions. Actions. 

Never in his life did he imagine having this kind of conversation with his mother, but he doesn’t hate it and he’s not ungrateful. This trip didn’t go at all like he wanted it to and that’s his fault. They’re leaving her together, but not in the way he wants. There’s no laughing, no talking. He’s still being iced out and he’ll have to be okay with that for now, but when they get back, when she’s had enough space he will do everything he can to  _ show  _ her what she needs to see.


	13. Apple Juice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years guys! Thank you for all the beautiful comments on the latest chapters and now I give you this!! Enjoy my beautiful lovelies!

Himiko is infinitely relieved to be back in the presence of her two best friends, she’s been waiting for this moment for a while now. All the awkward passings at work, the attempts to avoid contact around campus. It should all come to a screeching halt today...if she can just figure out what to say to them. She knows that Ray will probably forgive her with great ease, but Miki? Miki is known for holding grudges and being petty.  _ Especially  _ when you insult her little thrupple. 

She just thought that by the time the two of them made it to the deli where she’d invited them to meet her, that she would have all her apologies figured out, but she’s coming up very short. What if ‘I’m sorry’ simply isn’t good enough? 

Nervously her hands play with the frilly edges of the gifts she made them and never gave them out of fear. What if Miki doesn’t like hers? She’ll never know if she doesn’t try so before she can change her mind again she slaps the makeshift coupon books on the table before each of them and professes her stupidity with puppy dog eyes. They were right, they had always been right about pretty much everything and instead of turning her back on them for a guy she should’ve given them the benefit of the doubt. When have they ever tried to hurt her and why would they ever want to? 

She got too far ahead of herself and every bit of girl code she thought she knew went out the window. In simple terms, “I was an idiot, I humiliated myself and tore apart our friendship for  _ nothing.  _ I miss you guys and right now I really  _ really  _ need you I have  **_nobody._ ** ” 

As she thought Rachel is the first to extend her forgiveness. It comes out just as easily as everything does with her. Without an ounce of anger and malice, as if she’s simply been biding her time and waiting for this moment. “Yeah that’s fine, I told you I would be there for you and well here I am. When do you wanna move back in because I’ll have to find a shelter for Zack to stay in? Oh and I’ll clean your room too, he’s really messy but I tried.” 

“Wait.” Miki calls, staring at Himiko head on, glare in full effect. She holds up the voucher book, waving it around lazily and grimaces slightly. “This is cute or whatever and I would like to forgive you, but I can’t get past how easily you walked out on us for a guy you barely knew. It hurt Himiko and it made  _ us  _ feel like we weren’t as high up on your priority list as you were on ours. So, I have to know how serious about this you are...did you...break up...with dick?” 

Oof...see, well the thing about it is… “no.” She sighs. 

Miki scoffs, chuckling dryly and shaking her head. “Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. You just sat here and told us about how dumb you felt and how he basically kidnapped and  _ assaulted  _ you and now you have the audacity to tell us that you haven’t broken up with that sick fuck yet?! What is wrong with you Himiko?!” 

“He didn’t kidnap me!” She objects immediately. 

“Oh god I love how you didn’t deny the assault!” The older girl laughs. “You said he dragged you out of the club and took you back to his parents house with him right? You didn’t wanna leave the club and he made which for your information is fucking kidnapping.”

Himiko deflates in her chair and Rachel sighs heavily. The blue eyed blonde rests a gentle hand on Miki’s shoulder, silently telling her to calm down. “Himi, Miki just wants the best for you, obviously . And I won’t say it as rudely as she did, but honestly why haven’t you broken up with him yet? Has he not already proved to you that he’s not good enough?” 

“But that’s exactly it though!” She whines. Himiko groans, leaning against the table and tangling her fingers in her hair. Bakugou should be a part of her not so distant past now. She should have left his home and never looked back, never thought twice, but she can’t. He has this insane hold on her that she can’t free herself from. As if his hand is locked around her throat and keeping her right where he wants her. It’s not as firm as it was before break, before everything that happened, but it’s still too tight to just slip out of. 

She feels things for him that she doesn’t want to feel, that she can’t help but feel. She still has hopes for them, pathetic hopes, but hopes nonetheless. “Guys I spent months living with him day in and day out. He’s not all bad. He has a lot of moments that looking back on it now I should’ve punched him in the face and walked away, but he has other moments where he is trying and I can tell. I mean why would he try at all if some part of him didn’t really love me?” 

“Has he even told you he loves you? Like at all?” Rachel questions. 

“Well...not...verbally.” She mutters. “But-

“No! No buts!” Miki exclaims, folding her arms over her chest angrily. “Fucking hell girl, get it through your head that it’s never gonna happen!”

“Well…” Ray starts. 

The auburn groans loudly, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Not you too.”

“No, not me too, but this is exactly what pushed her away from us last time. I personally don’t want to spend another night wondering what kind of hell you’re going through down the hall  _ so  _ just for the sake of getting you back in our room where I know you’re safe...if this is what you want...if you really, truly feel like a change is coming then...okay.” 

Himiko and Miki mirror each other in their confusion. It feels like a trick somehow...but how exactly? 

“Look I’ll tell you the same way I told him. I’m not your mom. I’m not your keeper, I’m just your friend, your best friend. While my role in your life does consist of supporting you and being there for you, having your back, it does not consist of babying you and holding your hand through every decision you make. You are an adult, you are a 20 going on 21 year old woman and you are old enough to know what kind of bullshit you should and should not be allowing in your life.”

“I  _ trust  _ you to make better decisions for yourself, but I also understand that I cannot change your mind about people or things when you’ve already made it up and I’m not going to waste my breath trying to force you to think the same way that we do. So I say this not because I approve or even like the angry little piece of shit, but because I have had enough of this ridiculous feud and I feel as though it is time for you to come home.” 

Rachel doesn’t like to lecture, and Himiko hates when she does, because when she does it always leaves her feeling weird inside. Not because she was just scolded but because there’s always this underlying tone in what she says that can never be placed. Or at least she was never able to place it before because she didn’t realize what it was, but she knows now that it’s a manipulator’s tone.

If she were hearing it from Bakugou right now she would feel sad, but coming from Rachel she doesn’t know how to take it. Her friend isn’t trying to get her to do something awful or demeaning...maybe it’s just her own way of desperately asking her to break up with Bakugou without actually having to ask her. Begging has never been a trait of hers, so maybe she just relies on subtle manipulation in place of begging? 

Or maybe she’s overthinking this. Maybe her cruel treatment from Bakugou is making her paranoid. It just feels like another reason to cut ties, but she won’t, she can’t. Not yet, she’ll just have to tread very carefully. He heard her the last time they talked and he knows she’s not kidding. She’s not a doormat anymore. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s do number three in my coupon book.”

* * *

Bakugou has assembled his team for an emergency meeting. Kirishima, Kaminari, Deku, and half and half all sit together huddled on his dorm couch awaiting his instructions. He has called the four of them here today because he needs their...fuck, he needs their help. And he hates it, but he’s desperate. 

The five of them are the official members of the ‘Win Toga Back’ alliance. All four of these idiots have girls and their relationships are working out so much better than his. Even Denki’s weird ass open relationship. How someone could ever be cool with their girlfriend sleeping with other guys is beyond him, but obviously something is working for them and he is determined to find out what it is. 

He has come up with a list of ideas of his own that he wants to run by them before he opens up the floor for them. Idea one, he takes her on some lavish and fancy ass vacation or ‘baecation’ as they say now. Idea two, he buys them beautiful promise rings with each other’s name engraved on them, idea three, he just marries her because he doesn’t know what else to do. 

“Fucking hell Bakugou talk about overdoing it.” Kirishima mutters. 

“For as long as I have known you, I always knew you didn’t use your brain as much as you should.” Todoroki smirks. 

“Did you have any ideas that...I don’t know,  _ wouldn’t  _ bankrupt you before age 25?” Kaminari laughs. 

“Okay, guys, I think what matters here is that Kacchan is trying. He has the wrong idea entirely, but he’s trying.” 

“Shut up Deku.” He spits. “But I am trying so thanks assholes. Listen, the old hag told me that I needed to show her that I was serious about this with my actions. These are all action based ideas are they fucking not?!” 

“Yeah you also said that your mom told you to stop spending all their money and though these are...kind of action-y, they are still material based things.” The redhead explains hesitantly. 

Bakugou huffs in frustration. Materials are all he knows how to do, it’s what he does best. Camie loved shiny shit and before Himiko she was the only girl he cared enough about to want to impress. He has never been romantic. He has never seen romance. How in the hell does he do this? 

Denki jumps up from his spot and declares that it’s time for them to take over and for Bakugou to sit and listen and the others agree. So now the roles are reversed and he’s sitting on the couch and the four of them stand in front of him with their collaborative ideas. 

Do things that make  _ her  _ happy. “Todo’s family has money,” Kaminari begins, “nice money, but Toga’s family has  _ money _ . Her dad could afford to buy everyone and everything in this room without putting a dent in their account so getting her materialistic things to show her you care is pointless. She could get those things herself.” 

“Indeed. You have to show her you care by doing things that she would never expect you to do, but things that she would most definitely want you to do. The  _ weird  _ things that she likes.” Kirishima adds. 

Immediately Bakugou’s mind goes to the pegging adventure they took, but he thinks that’s not the exact brand of weird they mean. “It doesn’t take huge acts to prove your love and loyalty to someone.” Deku smiles. “Whenever I hurt Chako’s feelings I start by apologizing and when I apologize I make sure that I specify what it is I’m apologizing for so she knows that I understand how I hurt her.” 

“Right, and after the apology comes the actions. If Momo is upset I make time to do everything she likes. For instance, we cook her favorite meal together, then we sit down on a bunch of soft comfy pillows, dim the lights, and watch marathons of her favorite show. When she’s content with that we take a bubble bath together, I apply her favorite lavender scented body lotion and we go to sleep listening to whale tunes. In the morning she’s happy again and all is forgiven, we get back to the regularly scheduled program.” 

“Dude that’s so fucking manly.” Kirishima gushes. 

Bakugou can’t believe that shit is considered manly. It sounds soft as shit and stupid. Cooking, tv, and a bath? 

“Oh man, if I piss Jirou off we have a private ‘listening’ party and I sing all her favorite songs for her in acoustics.” 

They can’t be serious, it can’t be that easy for them. “Alright fine, that works for you idiots, but I’m not hearing what exactly I’m supposed to be doing!” 

Todoroki sighs through his nose. “Because you’re not a nice person.” He replies with a shrug. “ _ Nice  _ people would automatically know what to do when they’ve hurt someone. It’s only mean and shallow people that try to buy affection from others.” 

“Not true.” He spits back, holding up his wrist to show him the watch he was given for his birthday. “Toga is a nice person and she gave me this expensive ass Rolex for my birthday.”

“It was your  _ birthday _ .” The hetechrome male says. “Remember when she made you cupcakes though? And wrote you a beautiful poem, made you a coupon book? That was her being nice and affectionate and it didn’t take a Rolex to do it.” 

Red eyes cut towards another pair of red because obviously Kirishima and his big mouth are how Todoroki of all people found out about the poem and the coupon book. But fine, he guesses he sees the point being made there. The question remains still however, what does  _ he  _ do? 

“Remember how I mentioned how Himiko writes fan fiction?” Denki chimes. “Read her fucking story man, duh. Surprise her by talking about it and telling her how much you like it,  _ shock  _ her by showing her that you understand the symbolism of the characters and the struggle that Hina is undergoing on her quest to find love...madness.” 

“She does makeup tutorials too. Do one with her.” Deku grins. “Or do one of those ‘my boyfriend does my makeup’ challenges with her!” 

Kirishima drops heavy hands on Bakugou’s shoulders and stares at him with a serious look. “Bakugou...your girlfriend..she cannot cook, but you can. Teach her. I’m sure she would love to learn. You guys can make that your thing, cooking lessons.”

Reading fanfiction, doing makeup tutorials, and cooking lessons….it doesn’t sound terrible. He just hopes that this works.

* * *

He dove headfirst into his redemp acts starting by hunting down her fanfic account. There were several stories up there, some short and some long, but the story he was looking for was going twenty chapters strong and oh so many words. He was committed to this though so he hunkered down at the coffee shop on campus with his phone in front of his face and dug in. 

Never in his life has he watched ‘Love Madness’ but he doesn’t think he would have to to be able to follow along with her story. At first he was confused because he thought the whole premise of fan fiction was about writing for a fandom and it’s characters, but all her main characters are originals. Then he understood that she was using the real characters as cameo characters to push her own underlying story and  _ that  _ story is about Claire’s best friend Hina who is in love with two guys Katsume and Tatsuya. 

Katsume has been her life long friend and she’s yearned for his affection for years and now as young collegiates she’s finally getting exactly that. Unfortunately for them, in her time of waiting she crossed paths with Tatsuya who also caught her eye and has been very blunt about his own affection for her. Now she’s in the mix of a heated love triangle while she tries to find out who she really wants to be with. 

Katsume seems to her most obvious choice, but after having to stand by and watch him date other people for years and never look twice at her until he ran out of options, she’s not sure if she should just go with her original desire or if she should give in to Tatsuya who has never made her doubt her worth, even if Tatsuya is a little rough around the edges. 

He’s become invested in the story, invested enough to realize from the physical descriptions that he is Katsume and dammit all to hell if Tatsuya couldn’t be anybody other than Todoroki’s shit head older brother. He doesn’t know how much Dabi differs from his Tatsuya persona, but Katsuki differs quite a bit. 

Katsume is an unintentional prick. A genuine sweetheart it seems, but he makes decisions that continuously hurt Hina without even realizing he’s hurting her with these choices. Is this how she wants him to be? Kind, giving, doing his absolute all to prove to her that he’s her best option? 

And what does he do with the knowledge that at some point and possibly still, she has deep feelings for Dabi? Or is that just Hina? Is Himiko just using this to elevate the plot? If she would finish the damn story he would have all his answers! After twenty fucking chapters how can she still be going? 

He has to take a break from it before he gives himself a headache so he turns to her videos. Again, there’s so many, so long, so out of his zone, but he watches them anyways. Mostly. Okay so he skims through the majority of them, but at least he looked. He understands the basics and he doesn’t need to actually know how to turn himself into a werewolf, but credit is due where it’s due. She’s very talented. 

_ Can I see you tonight? _

_ Read at 3:45 PM _

He tries not to get too antsy about the fact that she hasn’t replied yet. They haven’t talked since the night she ripped him a new asshole and now when he’s on the brink of a turnaround all he wants to do is talk to her and prove to her that he’s trying to change and she won’t even acknowledge him. 

If he hunts her down and makes her talk to him he would be again crossing a line that he doesn’t want to cross. So he waits as patiently as he can and after nearly an hour of being ignored he tries again.

_ Please? I miss you _

_ Read at 4:15PM _

_ I promise I’ll leave you alone if you want, I just really need to talk to you _

_ Read at 4:20PM _

_..babe? _

_ Looney Bin: One hour _

One hour is not nearly enough time, but he’ll have to make it work. He quickly heads back to his dorm, checking his watch the whole way. One hour to show her that he heard her and that he’s listening. Gods please be with him and  _ don’t  _ let him fuck this up.

* * *

“So...just so that I know I heard correctly...you want us to start having cooking nights together, twice a week. You also want us to start using the coupon book and do one coupon a week until it’s finished. You would like to have...chapter discussions about my fanfic and lastly, you want to help me make a video?” 

“...is that... _ not  _ what you wanted?” 

When Bakugou asked to see her tonight she wasn’t expecting this. He’s being so nice and open. It’s like he was bitten by a generosity bug. It’s almost scary, almost like it’s a trick and it will backfire in her face in a horrible way. She will tread carefully. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but did someone put you up to this? Like is there a tiny mic in your ear?” 

He tsks and falls back in his bed in quick defeat. “No.” He whines. “I mean there’s no mic, but maybe I outsourced a little.” 

“Outsourced.” 

“Yeah, Himiko. I needed help fixing everything. I’m a fucking idiot when it comes to romance and apparently just being nice in general so yes I outsourced to my loser teammates to get help figuring out how to make it up to you.” 

Ugh, he’s trying so hard. This is what she wanted though, she wanted him to try. She thought that all the gifts Rachel had piled in their dorm from him was as far as he would go with trying though. Now he’s planning shit and thinking outside of a box she never believed him to be able to get out of. It’s touching. 

“Katsuki, I really do appreciate the effort and I’m not opposed to any of it, but I just need to make sure that you know that these things won’t fix it. You do know that right? I mean it’s a start and I like it, but what you did to me... _ everything  _ you did to me is going to take a long time to fix. And I need more than you just doing nice things for me. I want to know you, the  _ real  _ you. I want you to be open with me, be able to tell me anything  _ while  _ doing acts of kindness. Can you do that?” 

The blonde male sits up and scoots a bit closer to her and Himiko resists the urge to back up. He swore he was going to start over, he swore he would change, and he swears he can do this too. Be open with her. But it will take some time. 

Apparently he’s starting therapy which makes her very happy to hear. His first appointment is next week and he thinks he’s gonna have some kind of immediate break through, but Toga knows that’s now how this works. She won’t kill his hope though. If that’s what he needs to tell himself to get in there and make progress then that's fine by her. 

This is a lot to process for one night and she’s not about to stress herself out overthinking any of it so when his hour is up she retreats back to her room and promises to come and collect the rest of her things from him tomorrow. It feels weird. Leaving him to go to sleep in her own bed, alone. She had gotten so used to curling up beside him that sleeping by herself feels cold and somehow suffocating. There’s plenty of breathing room, but she feels like she can’t breathe. Himiko doesn’t like sleeping without him, but it’s for the best...right?

  
  
  


Katsuki’s therapy appointment wasn’t until Thursday afternoon. She decided not to see him again until then. Space feels like the best option at this moment. If she spends all her time around him she knows she’ll just fall right back under his spell and she doesn’t want that. But staying away isn’t easy either. 

She checks her phone repeatedly, hoping for messages from him. In class she constantly fights the urge to turn to him and throw her arms around him in forgiveness. She looks for excuses to have to be around him, like their project, but luckily she has friends again to help her not do those idiotic things. 

Rachel has become her unofficial new partner to help her finish her assignment. Miki is the one she hugs when she needs to feel strong arms around her. At night she cuddles against Ray’s back and plays in her hair. But even though she has these options it still doesn’t stop her from eagerly awaiting the end of his first session just so she can see how it’s going. She  _ knows  _ nothing will change just with one attempt, but damn if she isn’t finding herself hopeful. 

There’s a little over half an hour left until he should be back so to bide her time she’s trying to take care of chores. Like laundry for one, gosh there’s so much laundry to do. She hates the never ending cycle of wearing, washing, and folding. Maybe she should just be a nudist? 

The door to the laundry room opens and out of pure habit and nosiness she peers over her shoulder to glance at the new patron and finds herself immediately engaged in a stare off with the doe eyed trollip herself. 

The other girl just stands there with a subtle smirk on her face and a basket of her own tucked under her arm. Does the universe just hate her or something? Why does she keep getting out in these shitty situations? 

“Well, hello...you.” Camie smiles as she proceeds to claim a machine right next to her. “What was your name again? Hanako?” 

“ _ Himiko _ . But I feel like you know that?” She sighs. 

“Eh, same thing. So how are things? I hear you and the bro went splisville. Talk about takin’ an ‘L’ right?” She chuckles, tossing in random clusters of clothing into the machine. “Gotta say though, didn’t think you guys would last as long as you did. I imagined you breaking a lot sooner than this.” 

Himiko chews on her lip, fighting the urge to hit this spiteful, home wrecking bitch. Her father would never forgive her if she got kicked out of school for fighting. “What are you even doing here? In  _ this  _ laundry room? Don’t you live like across campus or something?” 

“No!” Camie laughs. “I mean, I did last semester, but I been moved here...ya know, before you and the bro started ‘dating.’ Mmm, I guess Katsuki felt like it would be more convenient for us if I were closer...you get it right?” 

Toga giggles a little to herself, initiating her breathing sequence. “I’m not gonna hit her, I’m not gonna hit her, I won’t hit this bitch even though she  _ deserves  _ to be hit!” 

“Um..yo I can hear you?” 

“Oh can you?!” She exclaims madly. “Can you hear me slut?! Could you still hear me if I kicked in the fucking head and ruptured your goddamn ear drums!?!” 

Had Toga known Camie‘s major she wouldn’t have threatened her at the top of her lungs. Or maybe she would have, there’s no way to know now. 

There is a reason why Camie is so good at being such shit and getting away with it. She’s a grade A manipulator, the best of the best, a performative actor. Literally she’s a fucking theater kid and it’s entirely too easy for her to conjure up tears and start panicking as if she was actually scared that Toga was going to assault her.

Suddenly she’s sobbing into the arms of their RA about how ‘unsafe’ she feels and demanding something be done about this ‘menace’ among them and really it just enrages Toga more. So this is her life now, being restrained in a dorm hallway while spewing hate and threats about how she’ll give the little home wrecking whore something to really cry about.  _ Fighting  _ over a guy that treats her like shit and embarrasses her all the time. She’s turned into one of those women she used to laugh at online. The ones she used to call dumb. Oh no, she’s a shaderoom girl.

* * *

“You’re not getting kicked out of school though right?” 

“No.” She grumbles, still seething over her reprimand. “Your  _ lovely _ little  _ girlfriend _ was so  _ kind  _ enough to  _ beg  _ for mercy on my behalf. She  _ truly  _ doesn’t think I’m a monster, just going through a  _ difficult  _ time.” 

Bakugou scoffs at her, annoyed with the way she’s glaring at  _ him  _ and getting snippy with  _ him _ as if  _ he  _ threatened to ‘brutally assault’ Camie. 

Talk about a grand return. Honestly he thought Himiko  _ knew  _ Camie lived in the same building as them. It’s the same fucking building! Apparently she has blinders on and doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings and had no idea Camie lived there so when they ran into each other in the laundry room things got a bit...out of hand. 

Toga, allegedly, threatened to cause bodily harm and it landed her in hot water with the dean of course. But Camie apparently saved her ass by pleading for a light sentence and claiming she wasn’t harmed. So Toga got off with a first and final warning and is basically on adult punishment. 

He wasn’t sure if he should engage her when he found out, but he wanted to be supportive so he invited her to go on a late night walk with him. 

“Why are you mad at me? I didn’t do anything...this time.” He shrugs.

His girlfriend huffs, turning her nose up at him. “Did you summon her to our residency hall so you could cheat more conveniently?” 

His step falters just slightly and he frowns down at her. “Toga she moved into our hall before we started going out.” 

“I hope you know you’re not denying summoning her.” 

“I can’t  _ summon  _ someone to live somewhere? There’s an entire system! No, no I did not summon her. She hated her last roommate so she switched. It had nothing to do with me.” 

“Not what she said.” She chuckles dryly. This time he stops walking altogether. 

Today he learned calming techniques to use when he’s starting to feel negative emotions arise. He starts to use them, breathing evenly and reminding himself of everything he could lose if he blows up right now. He also mentally validates her anger and feelings to remind himself that she’s not just being this way to piss him off, there is a reason for it. 

“Himi, I.. I understand that you don’t trust me and I have done nothing to gain it from you... but it” he struggles to find the correct words to say. Being so non confrontational is difficult for him, but it will be better in the long run. “It hurts my f...feelings that you believe her over me.” There he’s said it. He’ll ignore the wave of nausea he feels and the nagging voice in his head telling him he’s being weak and deal with all of that later. 

Toga turns to face him with a confused look on her face. She can’t believe he just said that either and that makes him feel worse. Is he  _ really  _ not a nice person? Just how awful is he and why has nobody ever checked him on this before?  _ ‘They have, you just never cared.’  _

He thought that therapy was supposed to quell his anxiety and he’s only had one session but he’s scared to go back if it’s going to make him feel like this. Completely out of his comfort zone. 

“Did you just..talk about your feelings?” She questions softly. 

“Yes.” He nods stiffly. “My feelings are probably the last thing you wanna hear about right now and I get that, but I’m trying really, really fu-freaking hard to be open like you wanted. And the therapist said that talking about my feelings would help me be less angry all the time because they’re not being bottled up, maybe they were right I don’t know but right now I don’t feel like they were right. I  _ feel _ like I’m more exposed than ever and uncomfortable but despite all that I know that this is what you want. It’s what you want so I’m gonna...I’m gonna keep doing it.. I guess.”

He brings a hand up to rub at the mounting tension in his neck. He had this same reaction when his therapist asked him to talk about his emotions as well and he looked at him as if something was wrong with him because of how hard it seemed for him to do something as simple as talk to someone. Why is it so hard for him to talk to someone? 

“Okay.” Toga mumbles slowly. “It looks like it’s physically hurting you though...so…”

He chuckles at her and also to relieve some of the pressure in his chest. His feet move, backing him into the brick forefront of a store that he presses himself flush against for some kind of stability. 

Toga approaches him cautiously, worry coating her face as she watches him fall into the works of a panic attack. He has no idea where this is even coming from, but he’s embarrassed. His eyes close because he doesn’t like how she’s looking at him, like he’s fragile. 

“Katsuki? Is it okay if I hug you?” He doesn’t bother answering her question verbally, just pulls her quickly into him, securing his arms around her waist while she wraps hers as tightly as she can around his neck. “It’s okay.” She mutters softly. 

“I’m sorry. This is supposed to be about you and I-“

“Shhh sh sh. I’m fine, but you’re not so we’re gonna take care of you now, mkay?” She’s always taking care of him. “I used to have panic attacks when I was little. Always before I had a competition or the first day of school. My mommy would hug me just like this, really tight and she’d kiss me, like this.” She whispers before kissing his cheek. “Then we’d close our eyes and count to five affirmations together and when we open our eyes, everything would be okay.” 

He nods his head against her, sniffling slightly and squeezes a little tighter around her. “One, you are strong. Two, you are handsome. Three, you are brave. Four, you  _ are  _ kind. Five, you are amazing Bakugou Katsuki. Now open your eyes baby.” 

He peeks with one eye first before allowing himself to open both of them fully. The world hasn’t ended, nobody’s laughing at him for his breakdown. It’s just Toga there, holding him and playing in his hair. The anxiety is still there, but there’s less of it, and he feels safe like this. “You...thank you, Himiko.” 

“Of course.” She coos. “Katsuki, we may not be perfect and there’s a lot of hurt and stuff between us, it’s gonna take a while to fully be okay with you again, but I chose to stay with you so I’m not just gonna ignore you when you need me.” 

“So what? You’re just gonna hug me like a child every time I have a panic attack because I tried to talk about my feelings?” 

“If I have to, if you need me to.” She tells him, smiling up at him. “I like hugging you and you obviously don’t do this a lot so I get that it’s hard, but I don’t think it’s talking about your feelings that you’re so afraid of. You’re scared of opening up and then getting rejected and I get that too.” 

He exhaled heavily through his nose, resting his head on top of hers. That sounds so much better than what he previously thought. Much more realistic in his eyes. “Do you still love me?” He asks her quietly. 

“Yes, I love you Katsuki.” 

“Am I allowed to ask you to come back to my room?” He asks next. He doesn’t want the moment to end and what if he freaks out again and she’s not there? 

Toga giggles, “I think that maybe we should keep to our rooms... but I don’t think the occasional sleep over is a bad idea.” Acceptable, better than nothing. And just one last question…

“I need you to teach me. I’ve been trying to figure it out on my own, but I can’t. I need you to teach me how to love you the right way. Is that a shitty request?” 

“Nope. Learning your partner's love language is important and I would rather you ask than not care at all.” He feels relaxed now and far more comfortable than he did earlier. This is what he’s been looking for, her acceptance and forgiveness. Camie  _ almost  _ succeeded in ruining his redemption, but he’s not as weak as she thought.  _ They’re  _ not as weak as she thought they were. He doesn’t need a dumb alliance, he just doesn’t need flashy gifts, he just needs her and her love language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be proud of him y’all, he’s trying so hard 🥲   
> Just a reminder, we’re nearing the end of this story but there WILL be a sequel, I promise! ‘Greed’ will be updated next!! Until next time!


	14. Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two chapters remaining.

_ “More details surrounding the arrests that were made during a police raid have come to light.”  _

_ “They have indeed Juan, and the case just gets stranger and stranger by the minute. For those of you don’t know, let’s go over the facts again, shall we?”  _

_ “Late evening, April 19th, police received an anonymous phone call tipping them off to what turned out to be a gang war in the making, going down at an old abandoned warehouse. When police arrived the violence had hardly even begun, but shots were certainly fired after the fact.”  _

_ “Indeed they were Michelle. We now have an official update for injuries occurred during this incident. It appears two officers were shot, along with two gang members and two members were also said have died on the scene. A handful of arrests were made with no escapes. Alongside several weapons and multiple rounds of ammunition, copious amounts of drug paraphernalia were confiscated at the scene as well.”  _

_ “In an even weirder twist, we have received word now that cops were called to another incident as well that night. And this incident? In the very neighborhood of one of the arrested gang members, Chisaki Kai. It turns out that there was a break in at his home while Chisaki was going head to head to rival gang members and police officials. Right now it’s believed that whoever broke into his home had knowledge of the show down and used the opportunity to break in.”  _

_ “Unfortunately for the intruder or  _ **_intruders_ ** _ , one of Chisaki’s men who was not at the warehouse came home early and interrupted which, according to residents in the neighborhood, led to a chase throughout the vicinity that ended in a bloody mess. We go to Hugh for on site details about the event, what do you have for us Hugh?”  _

_ “Thank you Juan. I’m here with Nicoli Cardaci, a young man who was there the night the robbery occurred. Nicoli, what can you tell us about that night?”  _

_ “It was crazy. I was...terrified. I was just coming home from hanging out with my friends and out of nowhere this girl runs into the middle of the street and this guy goes right after her. I didn’t even have enough time to stop and I just..I hit him.”  _

_ “You hit the pursuer with your car?”  _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “And what happened after that?”  _

_ “That was even crazier. I was crying and people were looking, the girl, she looked like she was gonna run but she stopped and she came back and she started  _ **_helping_ ** _ him. She made me call for help, she bandaged his leg, she knew what she was doing, she took good care of him before she ran off again and it didn’t make sense, but I’m also kind of glad she was there because he could’ve bled to death if it weren’t for her.” _

_ “Crazy indeed Nicoli. The store is the same with many residents, all of them shocked, puzzled, and deeply confused. We have no answers and neither do police. Back to you guys in the studio.” _

_ “Thank you Hugh. As he said, right now there are no leads, but the police are still on the case, seeking to find the connection between the mystery caller, the raid, and the woman who saved a man she robbed.”  _

Himiko quickly exits out of the video and slams her phone down on the desk. Her body is trembling, her breathing is heavy and labored. She’s absolutely  _ terrified.  _ The media outlets are soaking this story up and the more they talk about it, the more they find. It’s only a matter of time before a picture or video of her helping that guy surfaces. Sure, she disguised herself, but what if someone she knows sees her? Or what if someone rats out Dabi and then he rats out her? She would like to think that the League members aren’t snitches, but they  _ have  _ to be putting the dots together. 

How bizzare for one of their own to leave right before they’re ambushed. What perfect timing he must have. How strange it is that someone reported the incident before it even happened. How oddly ironic that a woman with medical know how broke into Chisaki’s home the same night they were engaging in combat. They have to know, they simply have to and if they don’t snitch, that just means they’ll be coming for them when they get out. They’ll  _ kill  _ her. They’ve already killed two others and  _ that  _ is weighing on her heavy too. 

It’s her fault. She caused this mess, by playing big girl, planting bugs in people’s ears, psyching these dangerous men up for war with each other. She wishes she had never met Dabi. She wishes she had never done something so stupid. Her father will surely disown her for this, her friends will disappear, and Bakugou...good God if he ever found out. She can feel the anger he would have for her in the pits of her soul. Would he scream at her? Yell and insult her? Maybe he’d be angry enough to put hands on her. Or maybe he’d be too angry to say and do anything at all, he would just...leave. Her entire world would come crumbling down because she made horrible decisions. 

The mental guilt is crushing her in every aspect. Her grades are suffering, she can’t focus at work, she’s not sleeping at night, she’s becoming distant with her inner circle, and she’s disassociating from herself, from everything. Her days are spent drowning in thoughts about what’s going to happen to her when she gets caught. Several hours have passed in her days where she mindlessly scrolls on her phone looking at different countries she can flee to, pricing the cost of restarting her life and changing her identity. Unfortunately for her, nowhere seems far enough. 

“Psst, Himi, your love gremlin is here.” Ugh, great. Any other time she’d be soaring hearing Miki say those words, but right now she wishes for him to be anywhere other than the cafe. 

Getting up to go and face him feels like as much of a chore as facing anyone these days. She shuffles tiredly to the front of the shop, dreary and bloodshot eyes casting a glance over all the happy patrons until they settle on her personal patron. His hair is wet with sweat, he hasn’t even changed out of his football uniform. Oh...his uniform...she was supposed to go to the game tonight. It was the whole reason she’d agreed to switch shifts with Miki...so she could go to the game...and she missed it. 

Judging by the trophy in his hand they obviously won and it was probably a good game, but she can’t even find the energy to smile and apologize. She just stares at him and he stares back at her, shuffling awkwardly in his spot until he shrugs and mutters out a greeting. It hardly feels natural, as if he’s not sure he should be talking to her, as if he’s not sure ‘hey’ is the word he’s looking for. 

“I noticed you weren’t at the game…” he continues quietly. 

“Didn’t stop you from winning.” She replies just to seem somewhat conversational. She misses the way that his shoulders slump at her reply. Instead she just catches the slight turn of his head, the kissing of his teeth, and the grip on his award. 

“Couldn’t let the team down.” There’s an edge of defeat in his voice that her ears don’t pick up on. “Are you pulling a double or something?” He asks, glancing at her with red pearls. 

“No?” She replies, frowning slightly in confusion. 

“I just asked because ...you didn’t show up Himi, and you’re still here so I figured. You could’ve at least answered your phone by the way. I went all the way back to the dorms looking for you only for whatshe- I mean..Rachel, to tell me that you were still here.” 

Himiko sighs heavily, lamely shrugging. The sound of her hand smacking against her thigh sounds oddly loud in the tense space between them. “I’m sorry okay, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just…. I am not feeling it lately.” 

“Not feeling what...me?” He asks carefully. 

“No Katsuki, not everything is about you or us okay? I’m just fucking tired and I’m going through a lot and I just don’t have time for..for  _ this _ .” She explains motioning to all the things around them. 

When Bakugou takes two steps away from her, she immediately knows that she’s said everything all wrong and he has taken her misspoken words as a cue that he has done something wrong here and that is not the case. 

“I-“

“No. It’s okay, that’s my fuck up, I’ll just leave I guess.” He interrupts. “I’ll see you when you decide to come back? If you want, maybe, I don’t know, I just...later Himiko.” His back is to her before she can apologize and honestly she doesn’t make much of an attempt to do so because the energy is simply not there. The lack of motivation to apologize to him turns into more guilt for her to carry on her shoulders. He’s been trying so hard this past month. Going out of his way to be nice to her, trying to communicate better, and working on his toxicity and Toga has barely acknowledged the efforts. It’s hard to acknowledge anything when she’s so absorbed in her own nightmare. 

She turns to go back into the office and torture herself more with news reports when she notices Miki standing there, watching her with a curious gaze. Normally she would expect Miki to be grinning spitefully and cracking jokes about how Bakugou deserves anything she throws at him because he’s shit, but she’s so surprised when her friend says..

“I know that I have greatly expressed how much I hate that guy, but even I have to say that was pretty rough to watch. I mean it’s not my relationship so do what you will I guess, but I just feel…I don’t know? If you’re not gonna forgive him and just give him shit then maybe just break up with him instead of letting him kiss your ass like a kicked puppy.” 

Himiko’s eyes slip down and she hugs herself. That’s not what she’s doing...is it? “Was it that bad?” 

“Full disclosure, he looked pretty happy when he walked in here. Not smiling or whatever but that usual air of pride that he has? He was obviously excited to show off his winning trophy to you and when you came out looking all.. _ this _ , he kind of just deflated the entire time. It was really sappy, like telling a dog they’ve been a bad boy and then the look of hurt they give you just kills you with a crushing sadness.” Oh God, she’s a monster.

* * *

Nobody can ever tell Bakugou that he isn’t trying, because he is. He has been going to therapy faithfully. He has been sticking with his calming techniques. He has been trying to find comfort in being more personally open with his girlfriend and it really seems like it’s all for nothing. He can’t even pinpoint the exact minute that Toga officially stopped giving a fuck, but he knows that she has. 

She doesn’t look at him with sparkles in her eyes anymore. She hardly replies to his messages, doesn’t answer his calls. If they talk in person she’s dry and hardly paying attention. It makes it difficult for him to keep trying because he knows she doesn’t care, but he wants her to care because he’s reached the conclusion that he doesn’t want to lose her. 

And tonight? The way she made him feel when she didn’t show up to his game and when she dismissed him at the cafe? Embarrassing, heart breaking. Maybe it’s a stupid thing to want, and maybe normal and healthily functioning people don’t want this, but he just wants her to acknowledge what he’s doing. He just wants her to feel proud of him for how far he’s come. She doesn’t have to bow down at his feet, she doesn’t need to shout it to the world, but hug him, kiss his cheek, ruffle his hair. The smallest little thing would be enough at this point. 

He wanted to ask her out to dinner tonight so they could celebrate together, but now he’s spending his time alone in his room with takeout. He  _ could  _ have gone out with the other guys, but he rejected their offer because he was so stupidly sure that Toga would at least share this moment with him. He played himself. 

Every time his phone vibrates he picks it up hoping it’s his girlfriend telling him she’s on her way, but it’s not. Just the stupid group chat blowing up. He doesn’t want to turn the phone off though because what if she does text? So he resigns himself to torture. 

When his take-out is gone and he grows tired of watching idiots on tv, he decides that staying inside and moping is not the best course of action for him. He slips on some sweats and his shoes and figures a long walk would probably help him clear his head. 

He’s only just made it to the front of the dorm when he comes face to face with Rachel. It’s his second time seeing her tonight and just like the first he feels compelled to ask where her roommate is, but he refrains. Bakugou side steps and holds the door open for her so she may enter instead. 

She stares at him with all her fucking weirdness and he feels increasingly creeped out. What is with her and how does Toga share a room with her and never feel like this girl is plotting her demise or something? 

“You goin’ in or what?” He grunts, growing tired of this awkward charade. 

“Where’s Toga?” She questions, ignoring him. 

“Work.” He replies quickly. 

“But she’s off…”He knows. He doesn’t reply to her this time, just grips the door a little harder and his jaw clenches. 

Her friends don’t like him, that much he knows and this one in particular has a mouth on her. He doesn’t want to get into it with her, he doesn’t want her slamming him or blaming him for Toga’s current depression. He  _ knows  _ he’s the reason so if they could just leave him alone about it. “Do you wanna walk with me?” She asks out of the blue. 

“‘Scuse me?” 

“Guess I should’ve asked if I could walk with you since you were the one initially going on the walk. Either way though, would you like to have company?” 

Not really, but he gets the vibe that Rachel is the kind of person who would follow him anyways if she really felt like it. He lets go of the door and starts off down the concrete path towards the sidewalks and she indeed follows him, easily following into step with his slow pace. 

Maybe she just likes going on night walks. There can’t be any other reason as to why she would be joining him. They aren’t friends, neither of them are the type to pretend with each other, so why? He doesn’t ask. If they have to have some kind of harrowing discussion with each other then he would prefer to have it after he’s had a moment to enjoy his walk as much as he can. 

Occasionally his eyes glance down at her just to see if she’s staring at him, but her eyes are forward the entire time. Her body is relaxed, the air around her seems easy, she’s quiet...she’s not ruining this and oddly, her presence feels more comfortable than he thought it would. She smells like the ocean and every time the wind blows her hair the scent gets stronger. It’s relaxing, like he can almost picture himself at the beach, toes buried in the sand, relaxing as he watches the waves come in. 

Perhaps this is why Toga likes rooming with her. She’s like a tiny stress ball, only you don’t have to squeeze her to feel relaxed. 

“I really do like your friend, ya know?” He admits for some reason. “And I know that I was the biggest dick in history to her and she didn’t deserve that, but this isn’t just an act. I’m not just trying to fool her, I really do care about her.” 

“That’s great and all, but I’m not really here to talk about Toga.” She replies nonchalantly, tucking thick strands of hair behind little ears. 

“Oh?” He grunts. 

“Mhm. I mean I love her and she’s my best friend, but my whole world doesn’t revolve around Toga...and, yours probably shouldn’t either.” 

His steps stutter just slightly. This isn’t the first time that Rachel has said something to him that made him feel like she was a strange kind of friend to have. What does she mean by that? Is it a warning? Is she telling him that having his world revolve around Toga is only going to lead to pain when she inevitably dumps his ass? 

If she knows something then he wants to know too. He stops walking, grabbing her shoulder to make her pause too and leverages her around to face him. “What are you trying to tell me?” He questions demandingly. 

“Was I not clear? Toga is not the center of my life, and she doesn’t have to be yours either. It’s not very healthy to centralize someone.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be saying the opposite? She’s your best friend.” 

“You sure do like echoing I see.” She mutters causing him to glare at her. “You don’t have to spend every minute of your life focusing on your partner to be a good partner. Focusing on yourself is also key to having a healthy relationship, because if you’re exerting all your efforts trying to be perfect for her you’re going to exhaust yourself and eventually you’ll start getting depressed because you’re neglecting yourself. So...again, I’m not here to talk about Toga. We’ve shared classes together, you’ve been to my dorm room, we’ve eaten in the cafe together and I know virtually nothing about you. Walk with me and tell me how your day was.” 

After all this time, he’s still being toxic? Is that what she’s telling him? How on earth could putting someone else first be toxic? Or maybe he’s not hearing her clearly and he’s only hearing what he wants to hear. His therapist did tell he does that a lot. Deep breath in, hold it for five seconds, and deep breath out.  _ ‘Don’t get overwhelmed.’  _ There’s no need to be overwhelmed. 

“It was alright, I guess.” He answers. Rachel nods at him and resumes walking, he falls into step next to her. 

“Same. Does that ever bother you? The ‘mundane’ act of repeatedly doing the same things day in and day out.” 

He’s never really thought about it. “I mean, I do what I have to?” 

“I feel the same..kind of. I actually like the repetitive actions, I know what’s expected of me on a daily basis and this way I don’t have to be anxious about what’s to come if I just stick to my pattern.” 

“That’s stupid.” He scoffs out before he can stop himself. “You know different shit happens every day right?” 

“I mean yeah obviously, but what I’m saying is, as long as I have my routine I’m okay. For example, every day I wake up at seven. I take a hot shower, make coffee, eat waffles and read one chapter of whatever book I’m reading. When it’s time to go to class, I leave early so I can be five minutes early. I always go to lunch at the same time with at least one other person. On Wednesday’s when I have night class, I take a nap for forty-five minutes. After class I study for two hours and on Tuesday’s and Friday’s Shinsou comes over, we watch a movie and then have a discussion about the plot and characters. So just simple things like that. As long as I don’t break that routine I find it a lot easier to feel less anxious about my days.” 

It doesn’t sound like anything spectacular, but he imagines that it means a whole lot more to her than it sounds to him. But he thinks he gets it. She has this routine because should anything ever go wrong in her day, she’ll always have something positive to look forward to. What does he have? Other than football and...you know who. 

“Do you think other people should inhabit routines like these?” He wonders aloud. 

“Mhm. I know we said we weren’t gonna talk about her, but just for example sake. You had a very football game today, I know Toga wasn’t there, I know she’s not here now so..what did you have to look forward to afterwards?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Exactly. Having a routine will keep you from this really pathetic display of anguish.” 

“Gee thanks.” He grumbles. 

“You are welcome.” 

The two of them continue their walk with no real destination in mind, but Bakugou isn’t bothered by that fact. He likes this, the comforting air around Rachel, the lack of judgement she appears to have for him, and he likes not thinking about his horrible relationship. It feels almost like he’s gone back to a time in his life when he was much younger and he didn’t have so much shit to worry about. When all he was doing was just existing peacefully. 

Perhaps it’s because she’s a psych major, but the girl does have a way about her. It’s the blossoming of a friendship he never envisioned himself having, but one that doesn’t seem like a horrible idea. And really he feels like he needed this talk with her so he could decipher all the shit he’s heard around campus.

She has never been locked in a psych ward despite what the idiots say. She did spend years in intensive therapy and she has no problem admitting that she  _ does  _ take antidepressants and antipsychotics, but she has never been locked up. She just has a lot of emotional baggage because she witnessed her parents die and the orphanage she grew up in afterwards was less than friendly. 

It doesn’t bother her that people have crazy ideas about what kind of person she is. If anything she welcomes it because it keeps them away from her. She’s... _ funny _ and he didn’t expect that. It’s not outright humor, it’s very dry and dark humor, but she’s funny. 

By the time the end of the walk comes he doesn’t feel nearly as stressed and anxious as he did when he left. He’s not kicking himself or thinking the worst. He’s calm, in a good head space. 

The next day as he’s walking into the cafe for lunch he notices Rachel is sitting at a small table and Shinsou is with her. She’s sticking to her routine. He  _ could  _ sit with one of his friends, but instead he makes his way over to the blondes table where Shinsou immediately looks at him with skepticism. He ignores it and focuses his gaze solely on Rachel. 

“Can I join your damn routine?”

* * *

It’s almost 1 in the morning when Himiko knocks hesitantly on Dabi’s door. She’s got no other idea what to do at this point. She needs to talk to someone so she can get these worries off her chest and Dabi is the only one she can actually talk to about it without fear of consequences. She waits there in her spot, rubbing her hands together through the sleeves of her pajamas, hear head swiveling around to check the halls. Her paranoia is increasing by the second. 

As soon as the door is opened a small crack she lunges, shoving her way through and slamming it shut behind her. Dabi isn’t exactly thrilled to have her, or anyone, dropping by his room this late and so rudely, but his annoyance wears off easily when he starts to think about  _ why _ she could be here. Alone, in such small shorts that are barely visible under her sweater. “Could you be here for a much needed booty call?” He chuckles, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

“Wha- no! Dabi I’m here because I am freaking out.” She exclaims in a hushed whisper. Her bare feet pad across the room as she paced back and forth, nibbling at her nails. “I’m gonna get caught, we’re gonna get caught.”

“Toga.”

“God, how could I be so stupid? I should’ve worn a mask or something! I- I..oh God, people died!” Her breathing is erratic, heavy, she’s hyperventilating. All her panic and worries are finally crushing her and the weight is too much to bear. She can’t get the news out of her head,  _ ‘I killed people. I killed people.’  _ The unpleasant mantra is said over and over again in her head, shaming her, blaming her, it’s all.her.fault. 

Dabi isn’t a caring kind of person, but for the sake of saving his own ass he knows that he needs to calm Toga down. If she keeps on like this she’s liable to run to the police to try and clear her conscience and he can’t have that. 

He approaches her from behind, planting firm and heavy hands on her slender shoulders. “Hey hey, calm down, alright?” He whispers, in a hushed, cooing voice. One of his hands slips down her arm to take her hand. He pulls her with him to his room, shutting the door behind him. He’s lucky he doesn’t have a roommate, but he also doesn’t want to have this kind of conversation so close to the door either. 

The raven male sits the little blonde down on his bed and he sits next to her, brushing her hair down. Fuck, he hates how pretty she is. The soft, blonde hair, tinted chubby cheeks, and pretty amber eyes. A nice face paired with a body like hers, small, tight, curvy; this girl has been on his hit list ever since he first laid eyes on her. And things were so good at first, those special little privileges she granted him. But she never let him seal the deal, always so obsessed and caught up on some idiot. And where is that idiot now? Nowhere to be seen. 

He’s not happy about the potential crisis that comes along with her guilty feelings, but is he thrilled about the opportunity to capitalize on her current vulnerability? Of course. “Listen to me, everything is gonna be okay.  _ You _ didn’t kill anyone, you weren’t even there.”

“No, but...but I set it all up.” She sniffles, wiping at her teary eyes. 

“ _ You _ called the police. Had you not, don’t you think things would have been a lot worse? It’s not your fault that those idiots decided to shoot at cops and thought they’d get away with it.”

She sighs heavily, her head hanging pitifully. “Dabi, I just can’t make light out of a situation I created because of the stupid decisions I made. I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I don’t think anything could make me feel better right now.” 

Oh the smirk that he has to fight off. He cups her chin, lifting her face to look at him. “Look, you did what you had to do to save yourself. I mean, how long did you expect Shigaraki to put up with you? You knew too much, he wasn’t just going to let you go. You did everyone a favor getting that dirtbag and  _ especially _ those Yakuza pricks off the street.” 

Her lips part to protest, but nothing comes out. She’s processing what he’s saying and it makes sense to her. She did them a favor. She did what she had to do. “Well...what about if they find out? What if he knows it was me? Us?” 

“Don’t be worried about that. They’re not getting out of prison for a long time.” He says, easily dismissing her worry. He brushes some stray hands of hair behind her ear and let’s his thumb gently stroke the plush of her bottom lip. “You’re far too pretty to be worrying about this doll baby.” 

“Pretty people can worry too.” She whispers solemnly. “What am I supposed to do about Katsuki? What do I tell him? I can’t keep icing him out.” 

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s none of his business, and subconsciously you know that. That’s why you came to me instead of confiding in your boyfriend.”

“I came to you becau-

“Because if you had gone to him he would’ve broken up with you.” Her eyes widened and she flinched away from him, as if his touch had burned her. 

“Don’t say that!” She exclaims. “Don’t...no, he loves me, he’s made his own mistakes and I never left him, he wouldn’t leave me!” 

“Has he told you he loves you?” Dabi chuckles, standing to full height in front of her. “I mean, I don’t know what kind of mistakes the guys made, but..do they really compare to getting involved in gang wars?” 

Toga stands across from him silent and staring with her mouth agape. He can see the glistening sign of fresh tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill down pale cheeks. 

She doesn’t put up a fight with him about what he’s just said to her, she’s far too mentally and emotionally exhausted to do so. And even if she did, his thoughts wouldn’t change. The truth hurts and she needs to know that. The sooner she accepts it, the sooner she’ll come crawling back for comfort. It’s just a matter of time.


	15. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It couldn’t last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Verbal, psychological, and physical abuse.

_Bakubaby: I finished our project…_

_Oh? Thanks, sorry I didn’t help you... I guess I’ve kinda been all over the place recently._

_Bakubaby: A little...can I see you tonight? Maybe?_

_Yes, I think that’s a good idea._

_Bakubaby: Cool. There’s a party happening that we can go to. I know you like parties._

_Okay. Pick me up at 9?_

_Bakubaby: 9._

**10:30 AM**

The time is ticking by incredibly slowly and Himiko is anxious. She has plans with Bakugou tonight. They’re going to a party, they’ll have fun together, drink, dance, they’ll be _normal._ And when the time is right...she’ll tell him the truth. 

She has worked it all out in her head. The best way to go about it is just to come clean with him. She can’t let Dabi be right, _no_ , she knows Dabi is not right. Bakugou may not have said the words, but she knows that in his heart, he loves her and she loves him. He’ll forgive her, it won’t be easy and she’s ready to give him the time he needs to go through the motions, but by the end of it he’ll forgive her and they’ll continue on their path to healing and healthy romance. 

Should she be telling him this truth in total privacy? Away from any listeners and secret spectators, yes. But heaven forbid there be no witnesses present for when he flips out. Therapy doesn’t work that quickly and his temper has not just disappeared into thin air. It’s buried somewhere inside him, threatening to come out at any given moment when he simply can’t handle himself anymore and considering his reaction last time, she’s terrified of dealing with it on her own. 

A sane person would see that as a reason to simply not tell him at all. Save themselves the trouble of even dealing with the backlash, but she has convinced herself that she is better than those sane people. Blatantly lying to his face would be cruel and unfair, he deserves the benefit of the doubt at least...and so does she. 

**12:00 PM**

“Hey man, I know it’s kind of hard to tell, but you seem to be in a good mood.” Kaminari smirks, leaning against the lockers next to Bakugou who’s putting on a fresh shirt. 

Bakugou can’t even find it in him to snap at the other blonde. He is in fact in a good mood. Him and his girl have been off for too long and tonight they’re on again. They’re going to smile at each other, she’ll look at him with those pretty eyes of hers, card her fingers through his hair, kiss him and he’ll kiss her back. But more than that, he’s finally going to tell her what she needs to hear from him. 

“He doesn’t he? His skin is glowing, his hair doesn’t seem as messy today, and the crease between his brows is soft?” Kirishima jokes, joining in with the two blondes. “Did you and Toga finally make up?” 

A smirk cracks across his lips, “maybe.” He shrugs, playing it off as if it’s nothing too serious. But it is. It’s _so_ serious. Come tonight he’ll tell Toga Himiko that he’s in love with her, that he wants to be with her for as long as they’re destined to be together. 

“Aww, Baku bro’s got his girl back. Congrats man, you guys are really cute together.” Kirishima smiles, clapping his hand on his shoulder. 

“Dude you’re gonna have a great night. Make up sex is the absolute best, I’m telling you.” Kaminari sighs dreamily. 

“Shut the fuck up asshole, it ain’t about sex right now. It’s just about getting back on track with her.” He snips, shooting his friend a glare. 

“Bakugou is right.” The redhead agrees. “But seriously man, I know a couple months ago I told you you didn’t deserve her and I meant it. _That_ Bakugou had no business being with her...but _this_ one, this guy who’s working his ass off to be nice and considerate, sweet and caring...he deserves the best and I hope you get it.” 

Bakugou frowns a little at the sappy words his friend is giving him, but deep inside he appreciates it. It makes him feel good about how he’s progressing, makes him feel more confident about tonight. 

“Blow it up your ass, pussy.” He chuckles. “I’ll catch you losers later, I have a lunch thing that I’m late for.” 

**2:30 PM**

The compulsion to go out and pamper herself in preparation for her date came out of nowhere. It’s just the regular college party, but she feels like she should look her absolute best, for Katsuki. It’s the least she can do considering she’s looked like death for weeks now and also considering that she’s going to drop the biggest bomb on him. 

She went with Miki to the fanciest salon in the city, getting her hair washed and trimmed, her nails done in his favorite colors black, orange, and army green. She even subjected her poor supple skin to waxing. She’s just trying to make sure that she looks as appealing to him as possible. 

“So you’re putting a lot of effort into a normie party...why?” Miki asks with a narrowed gaze. Himiko slurps on her milkshake while rifling through the racks of short and sexy dresses she could wear tonight. 

She shrugs her shoulder lamely, humming softly. “I just wanna look good, you know I always look good at parties.” 

“I mean yeah, but you got a full body massage... and said it was for the party. And now you’re looking at dresses that are upwards of…” her voice trails off as she looks over a price tag on a dress Himiko is heavily considering. “Wow, 700 sheets. That’s weird and your father will kill you.” 

“You don’t think it’s worth that much?” She questions with a small frown. 

“Honestly I don’t think any dress that covers only fifteen percent of your body is worth anything remotely close to that much.” Miki replies.

“Okay what about this one?” She says, foregoing that dress and picking out another one. Beautiful red latex, tulip style, asymmetrical hemline. 

“Again, it’s a college party, not some weird high class dominatrix sex club.” Her auburn haired friend hangs the dress back on its rack and links her hand with Himiko’s guiding her out of the beloved store before she’s able to get a dress. 

“So you know that mini skirt you have? Ahh I think it’s like navy with a really pretty floral print all over it with the slit on the thigh? You impulsively bought it and then wore it once. I think it could go really well with that peach oversized crop sweater that Rachel has.” 

Himiko tilts her head as she considers this, it doesn’t sound horrible, but she’s worried about blending in with the crowd. “You think I’m overdoing it, don’t you?”

“Was I not clear on that stance?” The girl chuckles. They stop at the crosswalk and Miko presses the pedestrian button as they wait for their green light. Her eyes glance over to her friend again and again. The question is simmering on her mind, but she really doesn’t want to ask. She already knows the answer. Himiko is freaking out over the prick again. 

It makes her skin boil how her friend can become such a different person when in regards to that guy. How much her friend _has_ become a different person. She doesn’t laugh as much, her smiles are phony, she’s so jumpy and anxious all the time. It makes her sick, but she doesn’t want to risk ruining her friendship again. She also doesn’t want to just idly stand by and watch her friend crumble to pieces anymore. 

The light switches and they start walking, Miki’s hand subconsciously gripping the blondes tighter. “If I confess something to you, will you confess something to me?” She asks. 

“Okay?” 

Miki takes a deep breath. “You were right.” She admits. “About..Miki, Akira and I. I love being with them, but I also.. _hate_ being with them. Sometimes I do feel like a third wheel and like they’d be happier without me. My relationship is not as perfect as I want it to be and a lot of the time I don’t know what to do about it and that’s my truth.” 

“Oh.” Himiko grunts. “Miki I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, it was mean and I was just being petty.”

“But it’s true and I said it so now you be honest with me….are you happy? Are you truly happy with him?” 

Now it’s Himiko’s turn to breathe in deeply. Her mouth opens to reply, to say yes, but damn if she isn’t having a hard time saying it. Has anyone even asked her that question before? If so, she can’t even recall it. It feels like she would have said yes as soon as she was asked, but now...now she’s coming up short. 

**7:15 PM**

Bakugou looks stupid in his opinion. He’s been standing in a mirror the last forty minutes having conversations with himself, pretending he’s talking to Himiko. He’s practicing for when he tells her he loves her and nothing he’s saying sounds right. 

He sighs heavily, hanging his head in defeat. It shouldn’t be this hard. He wants to say it so why can’t he just let the words come out and they sound good on their own? 

“Why...do I love her?” He asks himself, rubbing his hands together. “She’s smart, pretty.” That’s lame. Is that the only reasoning he’s got? There has to be more in there. Something he can say that would make it sound the way he wants it to sound. 

“Himiko...you are the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. I like how you accept me for me and …” shit this sounds just as cheesy as Kirishima did earlier. 

Could this be a potential sign that _maybe_ he doesn’t love her after all? Or maybe he’s just not ready to say it. Maybe it’s his own insecurities and worries getting in the way again. 

He looks at himself in the mirror, long and hard, staring intensely into his own carmine orbs. “Am I wanting to do this because I love her...or because I feel like I have to love her?” He whispers to himself. 

The question throws him back to what his friend said earlier. _‘..he deserves the best and I hope you get it.’_ He was so genuinely happy to hear that. “I love her, I love her.” 

He has been the worst, done the worst and she took it and stood by him all the way through. Where would he ever meet someone like that again? Someone so undeniably loyal and passionate about him. Someone that makes him proud to do better. “I love her... I love you, looney bin.” 

“What?”

“What?!” He jumps, head whipping to the bathroom doorway where his roommate stands staring at him.

“I...are you talking to yourself?” 

“...no. Why the fuck would I be talking to myself?” He responds defensively, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

“But…” he glares at his friend, telepathically telling him to fuck off and forget any and everything he may have heard if he knows what’s good for him. Before the situation can become any more humiliating than it already is, Bakugou slams the door on him and hisses at himself for not having it shut anyways. 

Fuck that is...embarrassing. He flips on the tap to the shower deciding to start focusing on getting ready for the big night. Whatever happens tonight, he’s sure it’ll be perfect.

**9:00 PM**

Himiko’s dorm room door opens to reveal her boyfriend. It feels like she hasn’t seen him in forever, he looks foreign somehow, strange, but nothing has really changed. It hasn’t been forever and he is still the same handsome, rigid blonde she fell for. 

He seems hesitant to touch her at first, but she has promised herself that they will be normal tonight so she smiles as widely as she can manage and initiates the physical contact herself. He smells so good, a strong and manly cologne clinging to the fabric of his shirt. His strong arms wrap around her waist, squeezing her tightly and his hand rubs her back gently before settling on her waist. 

“I missed you.” She says before he can get any words out. A small smirk graces his face and he leans down to kiss her lips gingerly. 

“I missed you too, babe.” He mutters against her lips. “You ready?” 

“Mhm.” She nods. 

“Don’t keep her out too late, I lock the doors around here at midnight.” Rachel calls from the couch behind her. 

“We’ll see what happens.” He shrugs, tugging Himiko out the door with him. She pulls the door closed behind her before letting him lead her to the elevator so they can make their way to this party. She’s had all damn day to come off of her nerves, but she hasn’t and Miki’s question is still boggling around in her head. 

Just this morning she was convinced that everything would be fine and tonight would be a good time, but as she stands in Katsuki’s arms, back to chest, his chin atop her head and her eyes watching the elevator doors close, she has the worst feeling in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

They’re skating by on free booze and loud music. Other than that, this night feels very heavy between them and Bakugou is sick of it. There is something that she obviously wants to say to him, he can tell from the look in her eyes, and since she feels she can’t say it downstairs they’re going upstairs for a little bit of quiet and solitude. 

He pulls her with him into an empty room and kicks the door shut behind them. Himiko is awkwardly standing in the middle of the room with her arms folded across her chest, looking anywhere but at him now. He tries not to let it bother him. He just takes her hand as gently as possible and guides her over to sit down with him on the bed. 

His hands cup her cheeks, turning her to face him. “What’s wrong? Talk to me. You said you wanted more communication, so do it. Talk.”

Her eyes slip closed and she sighs heavily, shakily. “I just.. I don’t want you to be mad at me or to..to break up with me.” She whispers. 

Bakugou blinks heavily. There’s no need to jump to conclusions here. It’s possible she has a million silly reasons for thinking he would break up with her, but they’re all wrong. It’s just silly reasoning, she hasn’t actually done something break up worthy. “Why would you think that?” He asks carefully. “Himiko if this is because of everything that happened...fuck, babe I’m trying here? Okay, I’m trying my best. I gave you space, I stopped raising my voice, I don’t call you names anymore I-

“No.” She interrupts. “I know you’re trying and I appreciate it really do, and I’m sorry that I haven’t been telling you that more. But that’s just why I’ve been so out of it lately. I just feel even more guilty.” 

There’s no need to jump to conclusions here. Maybe she...maybe she’s blaming herself for something he did and is harboring misplaced guilt over it. “Why do you feel guilty?” 

Himiko’s hands come up to cover his hands and remove them from her face. She stands and slowly begins pacing in front of him and Bakugou begins counting down in his head to tame his temper. “I just need you to listen okay because it’s a lot and you have to let me explain it all, but just know I didn’t cheat on you, I just really need to put that out there. And Bakugou you _cannot_ put your hands on me.” 

Breathe in deeply...breathe out deeply. Control the twitch in his eye. Don’t let his hands turn into fists. “What did you do?” He asks, trying to control the tone of his voice. 

She groans, dragging her hands down her face. “It was so stupid. Before we got together I was having this...fling with Dabi and it was fun I guess? He was different and I was being really rebellious against my dad and he’s like everything that my dad would hate. It was never serious and we didn’t have sex, we just messed around occasionally and one day he asked me to do a favor for him and I should have said no, but I was stupid and I wasn’t thinking about the consequences and I said yes.” 

Bakugou can feel the muscles in his body tensing up. She’s being evasive, dancing around the real core of the topic. It makes him nervous. “What did you do?” He repeats. 

Her hand goes to her mouth and she nibbles on her thumbnail. “Just let me finish first.” She says softly. “I messed up. With the favor. He gave me something important and I got mugged and lost it and he held me responsible for it. I owed him a lot of money for it, but he cut me a deal of sorts and so I paid back some of it but then I had to help him and his friends and this was after we got together which is why I’m telling you because I don’t feel like it’s fair of me to keep it a secret considering what’s going on.” 

The blonde male cranes his neck, flexing his hands. He laughs dryly, in frustration, and shakes his head. “ _Babe_ , I’m trying really hard not to...get upset, but it’s kind of hard when you’re not making any sense and you’re driving my anxiety up the fucking wall. So _please_ just do me a favor...and spit it the fuck out.” 

“I’m trying. Okay I... I got caught up with some people I shouldn’t have been caught up with and they were at odds with some other people that I _really_ didn’t wanna be caught up with and I got scared and I wanted out but I still owed Dabi the money and I couldn’t just walk away so I had to do something...and what I did was….what I did was... I incited a gangwar and robbed a Yakuza leaders house to payback a debt for drugs that I lost and I’m so sorry I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Have you ever had a moment when you can feel something shifting inside you? Literally feel the gears turning and the motions falling into place and jumpstarting a reaction out of you? This is what Bakugou feels as he hears the absurdly ridiculous bullshit coming out of her mouth and as it’s shifting he starts to hear less and less of what she’s saying and all he can focus on are the key words. Gangwar, Yakuza, drugs. Three of the top tier things he would never fuck with in his life and never want to be associated with someone who does fuck with them. 

Gangwar. Yakuza. Drugs. Three things that could have gotten her killed. Could have gotten him killed. 

He has been the worst and he has done the worst, but he’s repented for his grievous sins. She made him feel like absolute scum and she...she has been lying to him the entire time? She’s been leading a dangerous double life that could have endangered all the people around her because she wanted to piss off her fucking dad? He harbored so much guilt, self hatred, resentment for himself. He thought she was the greatest thing to ever happen to him and finding out now that she’s a lying, sneaky little bitch is flipping his word upside down. 

He lifts his head to look at her, but he still can’t hear what she’s saying. He can see the tears on her face, her hands are clasped like she’s pleading to him and none of it registers. All that registers are the lectures he received, the way people talked to him, treated him, defended her against him. They all treated him like he was the only rotten one in this relationship when really...they’re both toxic….he snaps. 

He blinks his eyes and the next minute he’s across the room and his hands are around her throat and he’s squeezing and he can’t believe how she could ever do this to him. She lied, she deceived, she manipulated. She’s not a fucking saint. All those nights she crept in. When she claimed she was done with that ugly fucking prick. She made everyone think he was a fucking demon when she’s the goddamn witch that summoned him. 

“You fucking _bitch_ ! How stupid could you be?! How fucking _stupid_ could you be?!” He shouts at her with unbridled rage. The only reason he lets go of her is because he’s not a murderer and he’s not about to spend the rest of his life in prison over some whore. That doesn’t mean he’s done with her though. Oh no, she’s going to hear him and hear him well. 

Toga collapses to her knees, clutching her throat, coughing and gasping for air. He backs away from her, shunning her when she reaches for his pants leg. “Don’t fucking touch me.” He spits. “You _disgust_ me. I can’t stand the fucking sight of you.” 

“K-Katsuki, don’t...say that.” She sobs, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. “I’m sorry! I made a mistake, I was depressed and lost! You isolated me from my friends, you were hardly there for me, I just wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere!” 

“Oh fuck you! Fuck you, don’t you fucking dare blame that shit on me! You fucked your life up long before I took pity on you!” 

“Pity? You pitied me, really?!” 

A malicious grin spreads across his face and he chuckles menacingly. “No you know what, I didn’t pity you. That’s not why I did this.” He crouches down in front of her, catching her wet eyes with his. “I _hate_ you. I hate everything about you. Your voice annoys me. Your touch makes my skin crawl. I hate all your stupid little love gestures, they don’t mean shit to me. I just wanted to own you lemme tell you _baby_ I owned you so fucking good.” 

“You were never anything special, just a desperate piece of ass for me to tame and toy with and use til I got bored and the only good thing about you is that you at least knew how to keep shit interesting. But I’m done with you now.” 

He could stop there. She’s clearly in pain, he won their game. He hurt her in unimaginable ways and her ragged crying, the look of devastation she hears is proof of that, but Bakugou never knows when to quit and when he cuts he likes to cut deep so deeper he goes. 

In a sick mock sense of care, he coddles her on the floor, caressing her hair and cooing at her. His lips press against her ear and he whispers to her, “I don’t ever wanna see you again, I don’t wanna hear from you, don’t text me, don’t call me, don’t look at me, go back to your fucking dealer friend. You were just a replacement, but now I can finally tell you. _You_ make me sick to my stomach.” 

Toga struggles in his grasp, shoving him away from her and in a quite surprising moment she hits him with all her might, cracking her small fist across his face. It’s the only bit of fight she’s got left in her though and it barely phases him. He’s still the winner here. The cold hearted, broken hearted winner.

* * *

He left her. After spewing the most awful things he could have ever said to her he just up and left her there, crying and dying on the floor. It doesn’t feel real, it feels like a cruel universal joke. Bakugou Katsuki broke up with her... and she should have seen it coming. All the signs that they would never last were there. 

Realization is hitting her hard and it’s delivering the blows to her that Bakugou managed not to. A kick to the gut, a punch to the face. He never loved her, he never even liked her and she was a fool to think otherwise. Had she not been so blind, had she not ignored her friends, she could have avoided all of this. She brought it on herself. 

She has no idea how long she sat there on that floor. She hardly recognizes the people that drift in and out of the room. Some attempt to talk to her, help her up, ask her what happened. There are others, the lingering bodies that hang around and listen to everything going on. They know. She was humiliated and dumped. They could be nice and just keep it to themselves, but it’s always a lot more fun to laugh at everyone else’s pain. 

Eventually she pulls herself up. Bakugou drove her and she’s too ashamed to call her friends so her feet are tasked to carry her to her destination on their own. Where that destination is she doesn’t know until she gets there. And when she does she is tired, her throat is raw, her eyes are burning and her feet are aching. She doesn’t remember knocking, but she did and she’s let inside. She doesn’t remember hugging and crying into Dabi’s chest, but she did. She doesn’t remember going into his room with him either... but she did. 

There’s not a bit of rationality within her. Maybe she came here because that’s what he told her to do, he told her to go back to him, so she did. Maybe she came here because she’s desperate for someone to be nice to her, for someone to at least pretend to love her and care about her. And Dabi does a good job of pretending. 

The way he kisses her, praises her beauty even though her face is marred with mascara streaks. His touches feel like some kind of love, not the pure and innocent kind that she truly needs, but a good enough kind of love that pushes her to reciprocate solely for the purpose of feeling more. 

She does her best not to cry. She doesn’t want to upset him, doesn’t want him to know that the whole she’s with him she’s actually thinking about Bakugou. Flashing back to all the times he touched her, kissed her, looked at her with lust blown eyes. She doesn’t want to remember, but they’re so embedded in her head, ingrained in her being. If Dabi knows her mind is elsewhere he doesn’t really seem to care. 

She doesn’t feel any better when he cums. If anything she feels exactly the way Bakugou described her. A toy. And the raven haired male doesn’t help that feeling when he tosses her clothes at her and tells her she can’t stay. She feels her shame grow and she can’t find the words to ask him why, but he reads the question in her eyes as he’s gently pushing her out the door. He has an answer for her and she should have seen that coming to. It’s the same thing he’s already told her before, she doesn’t know why she thought it would be different now. 

“We talked about this before. You’re not special...just easy, uh, convenient?” Convenient. She’s convenient. 

The next morning Toga wakes up buried beneath her blankets. She doesn’t remember falling asleep and honestly she doesn’t feel like she got much sleep either. She’s not going to class today, she doesn’t have the mental capacity to do anything at all. 

Because torturing herself is apparently a kink, she does check her phone. She’s just hoping that maybe he’ll have texted her. Maybe he’ll apologize for last night, ask her to come see him, ask her if he can come see her. No texts from him. She rolls over in her bed and cries.

* * *

She hasn’t left her room in two days. Rachel has taken to simply coming in to bring her food and water, checking to see that she’s alive, but other than that the girl is respecting her desire to be alone. 

When Ray comes into her room today around lunch it’s not because she’s bringing her food, instead she has come to deliver bad news. “I know you probably don’t wanna hear this.” She starts off, addressing the mound of blankets that makeup Toga’s form on her bed. “Did you sleep with Todoroki’s brother? Because...there’s a video going around and some pictures...and they kind of look like you.” 

Oh. Well...she’ll just add that to her list of reasons to hate herself. Why would he do that? Has she been misreading their relationship all along? Does he secretly hate her or something? Perhaps this has just always been who he was. He flipped on his friends so easily without a single remorse. Yeah, the signs were there. Dabi only cares about himself. He blackmailed her into playing with the Yakuza only to expose her anyway. She should’ve seen that coming. 

“I’m fully prepared to claim the pictures and the video if you would like to pretend it’s not you.” Her friend offers. Such a good friend. Himiko hasn’t seen the video, but even without she knows damn well that she and Rachel look very different and no one would ever believe it was her, but it’s the symbolism behind it. A good friend. She should’ve listened to her. “The dean is probably gonna want to talk to you.” 

Could she be kicked out of school for this? No, that’s against the law. If anything she imagines Dabi will be expelled. They’ll probably tell her parents though. Her father will disown her. For real this time. And what about Bakugou? He’ll never take her back now. 

Toga burrows deeper into her blankets, attempting to shut the world out completely. She can’t deal with this right now. Eventually she will, but right now she just can’t. For now, she’ll just tuck in and think about how everything changed.


	16. Show Me Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE 
> 
> Listen to ‘Show Me Love’ by Laura Mvula at the start of the third scene if you really want this chapter to hit.

Himiko felt like she was drowning in a sea of endless self hatred, embarrassment, and heartbreak. Regardless of how differently she tried to look at things, she couldn’t make her situation better. 

Katsuki thought she was the worst fucking woman in the world and he hated her. He said it himself, he’d used her as a temporary replacement for someone else. He didn’t like her, he would never love her. She was and will always be nothing more than a pathetic joke to him. Even just thinking about what he said at the party again, the ferocious glare in his eyes, the hatred seething in his words, it’s enough to make her wail and sob more. Tears she didn’t think she had left in force their way past the brink of her eyes and down her already stained cheeks. 

Rachel and Miki were right. All along they had been trying to tell her but she had been so dumb, so stupid and ignorant,  _ blinded  _ by a love she’d created in her head. By a story she wrote and tried to plaster onto her real life. She spent so long being angry with them, missing out on fun times with them, pushing them away all for a guy that did everything to her that they warned her he would. 

How had she spent so long looking through the rose colored glasses without ever seeing the tiniest hint of clarity? They were chipped, faded and now there was no more pretending. She was always weird to people before because of her hobbies, the weird way she looked at people, her clingy ways, but now she’s even more of a laughing stock to them because on top of Katsuki humiliating her, Dabi took it upon himself to kick her as well. 

That horrid video, all the stupid photos and text messages. They’re still making rounds despite the Dean’s instructions for the other students to knock it off. There’s a fake ViewMe page of her online where they act like she’s a slut, some idiotic whore that they can poke fun at or talk horribly about for their own amusement. Don’t they all know her heart is broken already? Don’t they all know just how tired and abused she is? 

Tired. There’s never been a truer statement, she’s just...so...tired. If she could escape this world and go to a better place where she didn’t have to do this anymore, didn’t have to wake up every day to a world of people that hate her..well that would be something. But what if she simply didn’t have to wake up at all? 

Rachel and Miki would probably be the only ones sad but they’d get over it quickly, relieved to no longer have her as a burden on their hands. Katsuki would probably be ecstatic, he would no longer have to see her around campus as an awful reminder of just how low he stooped. Dabi simply wouldn’t care, he never cared about her to begin with clearly. It would just be another ordinary day for him. 

The weary blonde stands up from her floor, her feet carrying her towards the bathroom. She can’t even feel her feet moving, her steps go unregistered. Nothing she’s doing right now seems real, she just feels very..empty, vacant. She thinks of this as a good sign, she’s resolved in her resolution to end it here and her soul is already leaving her body, just waiting on her to cut the final strings. 

If she’s going to die then she would at least like to die with some small bit of happiness so she chooses a razor blade instead of pills. She practically floats to the shower, turning the water on and stepping into the stall still fully dressed. Her eyes gaze at the small bit of steel in her hands and she remembers all those times she read about suicide in the papers and tried to imagine just how much pain someone had to be in to do it. However, she doesn’t feel pain. She feels nothing at all. 

Himiko lowers herself to the tile floor, her hand doesn’t tremble as she drags the blade against fragile skin and strikes red. She chose this because she thought maybe her passion for the immaculate beauty that is blood would give her a peaceful death, but still, she feels nothing. Not even as she cuts into the other wrist. Not as she sits there draining her essence. 

She doesn’t quite know if it’s the steam from the water that’s clouding her vision or if she’s finally fading away, but it doesn’t matter. It’s finally over, she doesn’t have to do this anymore, from now on she’ll just..not exist. And everything….will be okay.

* * *

There’s a knot in his stomach that won’t leave, a painful pricking in his chest that won’t let up. He won’t even bother to lie and say that he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him because he does, it’s her. There’s just too much of her leftover. On his skin, in his mind, in his room...she was too embarrassed to come back for the few things she left in his room and he doesn’t blame her after the way he reamed her at the party. So now it’s just been sitting here in his face reminding him of how he crowned himself the world’s biggest bitch in one night. 

He shouldn’t feel guilty or bad about anything he said or did because it was  _ her  _ fault. She’s the one who lied to him, she played a dangerous fucking game that could’ve gotten them killed. 

_ ‘It’s not like the Yakuza had ever been aware of you’ _ ...she worked very hard to make sure she didn’t get her lives crossed and the fact that no one has arrested her yet justifies that statement, but still. He  _ is  _ allowed to be upset about these things.  _ ‘But did you have to scream at her like that? Did you have to choke her?’  _

His hands dig into his hair, nails scratching at his scalp. He’ll never admit to being wrong. He did that once and just look at where it landed him. No, he needs to stop thinking about her altogether. 

He picks up his cell phone from his desk and slips right back into bad habits. Himiko was the drug mule but he’s clearly the druggie and Camie is his drug. He is weak and persistently crawls back to her for whatever reason, because he wants to feel pain, because he wants to feel warmth, to feel loved, whatever he can get from her. And it’s crazy because he knows, he knows after being with Himiko, that Camie is cold, she’s heartless, and a user, but maybe that’s why he feels so compelled to go back to her. Because she’s just like him, she made him this way and they have to stay together because they’d just burn anyone else that they touch. 

She responds quickly, of course she does; she’s elated about him being alone again and of course she’ll revel in his misery for her own fun. 

She doesn’t look nearly as beautiful to him as she used to look. That sweet doe face looks more like a mask tied around her head and what lies beneath is something grotesque. Something that just takes from him again and again and again. 

The way she moans his name makes his head hurt and her hands grazing across his skin stings with a desire to be left untouched, but he still indulges in the parts of him that he hates. He hopes to relieve the anger and sadness he feels inside. The anger of all her lies and deception, of seeing what she looked like when someone that wasn’t him touched her, and the sadness of how incredibly lonely his future looks. In the end he’s accomplished nothing and his release isn’t even satisfying in the slightest sense. 

He takes the elevator back to his floor, wanting to get back in his room as quickly as possible so he can wash off the shame drenching his skin. Maybe he’ll ask the guys if they wanna go get drunk tonight. Hell he’ll probably have to go by himself since they’re giving him a cold shoulder right now. That thought just makes him worse. Fuck them for not having his back and being on her side. They were  _ his  _ friends, how could they  _ not  _ support him? 

The elevator bell dings and the doors open allowing him to exit, but before he can step out his traitorous friend blocks his exit. He frowns in confusion taking in Kirishima’s appearance. Keys in his hands, his breath is ragged like he’s been running all over the building, his eyes blown wide and full of fear and panic. He opens his mouth to ask him what his deal is and Kirishima beats him to punch. The words tumbling out his mouth quickly and desperately. “Katsuki...I-I’ve been looking everywhere for you man. It’s Himiko...they just took her.” 

He raises an uncertain eyebrow, nothing he’s saying makes sense. Who took Himiko? The police? What does that have to do with him? They’re done. “I don’t give a shit, she ain’t my problem anymore.” He mutters, shoving past the redhead to head to his room. He doesn’t wanna think about her anymore. “Bakugou!” He hears Kirishima shout behind him. That’s not what causes his feet to stop moving and his entire body to freeze up. It’s what he says next that knocks the breath out of his lungs and sends his heart lurching. “She tried to kill herself, you dick! She’s in the hospital.” 

Oh no...oh no..’. _ Himiko?’ _

* * *

**_Oh, God, I need to belong to someone_ **

**_I miss the breath of a kiss_ **

**_I miss the wonder of a future with somebody_ **

**_Oh, God, show me love_ **

**_I miss belonging to someone_ **

**_I miss the kiss of another_ **

**_I miss the morning, I miss the waking up_ **

**_I need someone to hold my hand, bigger than mine_ **

**_Oh, God, where are you?_ **

**_Show me love_ **

Bakugou is still in shock, but regardless of the shock his body was moving on its own. Kirishima drove him to the hospital breaking speed limits and running lights the whole way there in an effort to get his friend to the place he needed to be most right now. But Bakugou’s mind has been fractured by this news. How does he process this? Himiko...tried to kill herself? While he was lying with someone that is no good for him, she was in so much pain that she tried to end her life? 

What has he done? Oh God what has he done? He  _ cannot  _ lose her, not like this. All those memories he wanted to forget are flocking back to him tenfold. Slamming into the forefront of his mind and playing at rapid speed in front of his eyes. Her laugh, her smile, her touch, her gifts, her stupid jokes, everything. His ears are ringing with echoes he may never hear from her again.  _ ‘I love you, Katsuki.’  _ All the times he never said it back and should have.  _ ‘I love you so much.’  _

**_If it wasn't real, then why does it hurt so bad?_ **

**_Cause the thing that we had seemed like everything_ **

**_Never thought we would be torn apart by a change in the wind or a cloud in the sky_ **

**_We were always_ **

**_And you showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

**_And I will never find another love like you showed me love_ **

**_And now I see_ **

He’s tearing off his seatbelt and running from the car before Kirishima can even come to a full stop. The knot in his stomach growing tighter and the pain in his heart threatening to explode at any given moment. He practically flings himself against the front desk, frantically demanding to know what room she’s in. He can’t see her yet because they’re still operating, but they could at least tell him where to wait. He doesn’t have time for the holdup. The mere minutes it takes her to give him directions feels like years, but at least now he knows where he can find her. 

**_If it wasn't real, then why does it hurt so bad?_ **

**_Cause the thing that we had, it was everything_ **

**_Never thought we would be torn apart by a change in the wind or a cloud in the sky_ **

**_We were always_ **

There’s people scattered about the waiting room for all different kinds of reasons, but his red eyes are locked on one particular group. Her friends, Rachel, Miki and two others he doesn’t recognize. The guy and girl are consoling a crying Miki while Rachel chatters away on the phone with whom he can only assume is Himiko’s family. He makes his way over to them hoping that they can tell him something,  _ anything.  _

Rachel casts a glance over her shoulder, doing a double take when she sees him. She quickly finishes her conversation and hangs up her phone, shoving it into her pocket and spinning on her heel to meet him halfway, but he’s -shockingly- surprised by the way her fist cracks across his cheek, snapping his head to the side. 

Her reaction only manages to throw him for a small loop before he realizes that of course she’s mad at him. She gave him a chance, trusted him and this is what he does. But right now isn’t the time for them to fight is it? Not when Himi needs them. 

“You have a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here.” She spits at him in a tone full of so much anger and hatred, so much emotion that he once thought she was incapable of. Her moonlit eyes are like blue lightning crashing into rampant waves in a hurricane, tearing up everything in their sight and right now he’s the only thing in her sight. 

He sees the next blow coming, but he doesn’t even attempt to stop her because he knows he deserves it. “Rachel.” He hears Miki call out. “Stop it, now isn’t the time.”

“Fuck the time.” Rachel hisses back. “There has never been a more perfect time to put this self righteous, indignant asshole in his place.” 

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out to her. “I’m an asshole I know that, but all I wanna do right now is make sure she’s okay. Just..please,” his heart clenches, “please tell me she’s gonna be okay.” 

The blonde’s eyes narrow and she laughs softly, a deranged sound. “You’re impossible.” She mutters out, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. “You wanna make sure she’s okay? It took her trying to  _ kill _ herself for you to actually give a damn about her?” 

That’s not true..he gave a damn. “I cared. I care, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t!” He protests. 

“Oh shut up! Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to us!” She shouts, shoving him back. “You had months to get your shit together and you didn’t! Tell me, what was so awful about her? God, fuck, I get it! She’s clingy, needy, a little weird, but Jesus, what was so wrong about someone loving you so much that you had to treat her the way you treated her!? She’s my best friend and I watched her break and rebuild herself trying to be the perfect girlfriend for you never gave a flying fuck! I trusted you! I didn’t protect her from you and I should have instead actually believing that you could be different.” 

Katsuki’s lip trembles and he bites down defiantly. His fists ball at his side and everything in him wants to scream that she’s wrong and she needs to shut up, but he would just make a liar out of himself. Rachel is right, he treated her so horribly. “I can fix it.” He forces himself to say, trying to keep his voice steady and even. “You have every right to hate me, but do you honestly think this is what I wanted? I would’ve never wished this on her. I love her.” Those three words came out so easily. He loves her, he really truly does and he would give any and everything in this moment just to be able to tell her that and hold her in his arms. 

Rachel is not buying his confession, she laughs in his face, mocking his feelings. “You love her? You stupid prick, if you loved her then why did you hurt her so badly? Do you have any idea how low people have to be to want to kill themselves? How worthless they must feel?  _ You  _ did that to her Bakugou Katsuki! She was so full of life and happy and you came in and dragged her so far down that she didn’t want to breathe anymore.” 

The gravity of the situation finally breaks her voice cracks as her floodgates open. Her friends support her, shielding her with hugs and stroking her back while all he can do is stand there and watch as his own eyes well up with tears. He’s done more than just ruin Himiko’s life and drive her past her brink. He’s hurt all these people too by hurting someone they deeply cared about. Someone they loved, truly loved, better than he could have ever loved her. 

He feels a heavy hand clasp his shoulder and he suddenly becomes hyper aware of Eijirou's presence behind him. His friend’s eyes looking at him somber and confirming what he’s just realized. He wants to be here, he needs to be here, but he doesn’t  _ belong  _ here. Not in her precious circle that he has exiled himself from. He has to leave, but he doesn’t want to. He’s so scared about what will happen if he does. What if he never sees her again, what if this is his only chance? 

**_You showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

**_I will never find another love like you showed me love_ **

**_Now I see_ **

As if reading his mind, Kirishima hugs him around the neck and murmurs in his ear, “she’ll be okay, bro. At least you know she’s still here.” But he hasn’t seen her yet, he hasn’t apologized to her for being the worst. 

Kirishima tugs at him, trying to pull him away from the place he’s least wanted at right now. Away from all the nosy onlookers, away from Himiko. She’s slipping away from him for good this time and he can’t seem to stop it.

Being told that it will be okay and that he will see her again just feels like a stupid empty promise. He doesn’t want to hear that from anyone but her. He wants her to wake up and tell her that she forgives him for all his stupidity and blunders and in turn he’ll tell her that he’ll never fuck up again. He’ll tell her that she was always right, that he loves her and they belong together. They’ll get married and have as many kids as she wants. Him, the football star with the beautiful nurse wife and their ten kids. 

These thoughts are all he has to cling to as the time starts to pass. One day, two days, three days and he’s got their future planned out entirely. Where they’ll live, what they’ll name their kids, how many pets they’ll have. Wednesday’s will be dedicated to family time and games with the children after he and Himiko chef up a masterful meal because he’ll teach her how to cook. Saturday’s will be solely for them though. He’ll wine and dine her, lavish her in gifts and compliments, stare at her with so much love and bless the heavens for how lucky he is. And when they get old they’ll go together, peacefully in their sleep and they’ll reunite in the afterlife. It has to work this way because if it doesn’t he has no idea what he’ll do. 

Between planning their future he’s been trying his hardest to speak to anyone about how she’s doing, but damn if they’re willing to tell him anything. Don’t they know how agonizing this is for him? He’s a wreck over here, he’s barely slept, barely eaten, hasn’t been to class all week. He can’t focus on the bare necessities when all that’s on his mind is his girl. 

Since nobody will return his texts and calls today he is dropping by Rachel’s room to talk to her in person. She can be mad all she wants, but he deserves to know if she’s okay too. His fist knocks rapidly at the door, his mind frazzled and his patience none existent at this point. His skin itches with anticipation, the wait for the door is nerve wracking. He hears some quiet chatter from inside and the door handle turns slowly, the door cracking open slightly. 

His bloodshot eyes glance through the crack and down to the blonde locks of the very person he came to inquire about. Himiko. She’s alive. She’s looking at him with those pretty eyes of her, those eyes that don’t offer hate and resentment. His hands feel so clammy and his breathing is uneven. It’s almost like he’s dreaming and he just wants to grab her and make sure she’s real. 

“Himiko, hurry up we have to finish packing.” He hears from inside the room. 

“Yes, father.” She calls over her shoulder. “I’ll just be a minute.” She adds as she steps outside and closes the door gently behind her. He throws his arms around her in the next instance, unable to hold back any longer. She’s real. She fits perfectly in his grasp. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so fucking worried about you.” He tells her before planting a kiss on the top of her head. 

“I heard.” She replies quietly. He finally notices that even though he’s holding her, she’s not holding him back. He pulls back a little, trying to get a good look at her face, but she won’t look at him. 

“Himiko..why are you packing?” He questions as that man’s voice dawns on him. “Why is your father here?” 

She shrugs slightly, wiggling free of his hold and putting far too much space between them for his comfort. She still won’t look at him. Her hand comes up to scratch idly at her neck and he sees the heavy bandages and feels a twinge of guilt. “I’m leaving Bakugou. My uh..my father thinks it’s a good idea if I go back home and I agree.” 

“F-for how long?” He asks immediately. If she just needs a short break from school he can understand , but if she’s leaving for good...no. He can’t have that. 

“I think we both know the answer to that.” She says. 

**_In time, this heart may heal (in time, this heart may heal)_ **

**_Take a while 'fore you know the way to be whole again_ **

**_And together, we will move mountains far_ **

**_Take a reach for a prayer that begins with a story of old_ **

**_Never ended here_ **

“Himi…” he practically croaks, stepping towards her. She backs away instinctively, her back hitting the door leaving with nowhere else to go. “I’m sorry.” He tells her. “I’m so sorry baby, please..just forgive me. We can get past this. I know we can.” 

“You’re right, we can pass this...and we will...but separately.” No. 

“Himiko I need you here.”

“I need space.” 

**_You showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

**_I will never find another love like you showed me love_ **

**_Now I see_ **

**_Now I can see you_ **

**_And you showed me, showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

**_And I will never find a love like you_ **

She finally looks up at him and the void in her eyes terrifies him. He’s never seen her look at him with so much..nothing. As if everything she felt for him has just disappeared overnight. He can’t have her do that to him. 

He knows it’s clearly against better judgment, but he’s more desperate now than he ever has been. He quickly closes the space between them and cups her cheeks in his hands, peppering pathetic kisses over her face and he feels more of his heart crumbling as she fights against him, turning her head away. Whose tears are these? “I love you, Toga Himiko.”

**_You showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

**_No, no, no_ **

**_Nobody, there's nobody like you_ **

**_Now I see you_ **

**_Now I see, hmm_ **

Her hands press against his chest, pushing him away from her slowly and his own hands latch onto her tender wrists holding them there, hoping she can feel the way his heart is about to pop out of his chest. 

“Bakugou…” she starts, swallowing thickly and forcing herself to meet his eyes again. “I  _ can’t  _ love you and I know you don’t really love me. You’re just confused right now.”

“I’m not!” He bellows at her. She flinches and his eye twitches, irritated with himself for scaring her. This time he wraps around her waist tightly, pressing her into his chest. “I fucking love you, do you hear me?! Just..just fucking say it back.” He begs, gritting his teeth together. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but I can’t. I..Bakugou-“

“Stop! Stop calling me that! Call me by my name, tell me you love me and we can fix this! We’ll be better than we ever were Himiko, I promise. We were destined by the cosmos, remember?” 

**_You showed me love and I thank you_ **

**_And I need you and I miss you_ **

**_You_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_Of the deepest kind, and I will never find a love_ **

**_A love like you_ **

The door behind her opens and he’s met with the angry eyes of her father. His nostrils flare and he growls at Katsuki and Katsuki growls back, clinging tighter to her because he won’t let this man have her. She belongs with him. 

**_You showed me, you showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me, yeah_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love of the deepest kind_ **

“You let go of my daughter!” 

“Bakugou, please, I wanna go with my dad!” She doesn’t mean that, obviously. She hates her dad. She loves him and she wants to stay here. He continues to tell himself this even as she struggles against him and her father attempts to pull her away. 

This isn’t like how he imagined. She’s supposed to be melting in his arms and forgiving him. Why is she fighting so hard?

**_I will never find a love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me love_ **

**_I will never find a love like you_ **

**_Love_ **

“Why are you doing this?” He asks her, his voice watery and weak. “You promised you would never leave me...so please…please don’t.” He’ll never have this again. He’ll never have that happiness, the warmth, the serenity again. She’s the only person who will ever love him unconditionally like that and he needs that, he needs her so bad. She wasn’t perfect, she made her mistakes, but so did he and that makes them perfect for each other. 

“Katsuki, let me go!” Her words cut through him like knives. She really wants that? She really wants him to let her go. His grip loosens not by choice but because he has simply lost all his strength. 

**_You showed me love_ **

**_You showed me, yeah_ **

**_Yeah, yeah_ **

**_Of the deepest kind, the best kind of love_ **

Himiko allows herself to be pulled away by her father who’s dragging her inside, out of his life. “Just forget about me.” She cries, “cause I’m gonna forget about you! I was wrong, okay, there are no cosmos for us!” 

**_I'm so sorry; now I see you_ **

**_Oh, God_ **

_ ‘I love you, Katsuki. I love you so much.’  _ The words are distorted, bouncing against the walls, dancing in front of his eyes, taunting him. They’re tinged in black, crumbling and falling to pieces. Is this it? Will he never hear her say those words again?

The sound of the door slamming in his face is loud and it silenced everything else going on around him. He can’t hear, he can’t think, all he can see is the never before imposing door keeping him away. His hand shakily rises, palming it as if it’ll gracefully disappear and allow him through. 

“I love you.” He whispers in pain. 

**_And it's too late, it's too late_ **

**_Oh, God_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cry with me because it’s over and then rejoice in knowing that the sequel is coming.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who supported me the entire way through this story. When I first started it my first received comment was a negative anon and I was worried that I had another ‘g.o.d’ situation on my hands. For anyone who has ever written for Naruto, you probably know exactly who that is. Anyways, luckily that wasn’t the case and I will forever be grateful for the kind words shared with me about this work. 
> 
> I will begin working on the sequel immediately, but I do not have a planned release date as of yet so just hang tight and stay tuned. Until next time. 
> 
> With love,  
> AunnaNomus 🤍


End file.
